The "right" time?

Well if you both want a baby now I don't see the harm in starting to try for one now it never will seem like there's a right time to have a bay if you what for it if your both ready to I say go for it.

I wouldn't have been ready at 21. I'm 30 now and this is our first. I'm glad we waited as I think we are both going to be better parents for it.

In saying that, I didn't have endo or any health problems that could interfere with conception.

I agree that there will never be a "right" time. I had my first at 21, totally unplanned and definitely NOT the "right" time - but I wouldn't change it for the world and it has shaped the way my life has evolved and I am totally happy with the way things worked out!

Only you and your DH can decide if now is a good time for you both.

There is nothing wrong with living out the back of your parents. Infact I highly recommend having kids while you are still there
I have been living out the back of my parents for over 3 years now and they have been there though all the big things, and small, in their lives. Having built in Babysitters is a bonus too As long as you have the space and you are still able to be independent I would say dont let the living situation hold you back.

I too was also a young mum, having my first at 19. I say if you feel ready then to have babies young isn't a bad thing, its a whole new experience for everyone with hard times for anyone what ever the age (and it Kapiti 21 isn't considered young at all ) There is always pro and cons to having babies young, I think its great because your body seems to handle it pretty well and then you when the child is older and at school you are still young enough to carry on studying or working whatever.

Dont worry about your parents - I am sure they will quickly get over it, even if at first they do think you are a little nuts

I would say if you feel ready and its what you and you Dh really want then go for it.
I dont know much about the medical stuff but I would want to start trying as soon as I could.

There's no right time. Sometimes it can work best when you have been together for a while and your relationship has "matured". Other people find it easier to do all the changing and adjusting while they are still young. I was married at 20 and bubs #1 came along 10 months later (We were told to relax, it could take two years.... LOL). And now we're up to #4 and both still in our 20's.

With the endo complication though, my advice would be - don't leave it too late! Except that no one really knows when too late is either. If you feel ready now, then throw away the condoms and have fun

It's a toughie and has made me think.

I'm 29 and am pregnant with my first.

I'm glad we waited because:
- We're financially secure (horrible reason NOT to have kids but hey, that's life)
- Our relationship has seen it's share of ups/downs and we feel we're now ready for anything
- My career is in a place where I can go back to it quite easily

On the other hand, sometimes I wish we'd started earlier so that we wouldn't be 'old' parents.... (if you know what I mean). I also feel like such a novice at this whole pregnancy thing that I feel like a walking contradiction. Like being pregnant has made me feel young and inexperienced again. Stupid and hard to explain but when I see some of my friends and they have 5+ year olds, I feel a bit like johnny-come-lately.

Bit of a ramble (sorry about that).

Strange that your parents are against it because you're too young. What did they say when you decided to get married?

Plus, do they understand the effects of endo?

Looking back, there was no way I was ready for a baby at 21. However, at the time I would have given anything to have one (the urge was incredible). I had my first at 26 and even then my parents thought that I was too young! In fact, they are urging us to wait to have another (but thats not their decision).

While being a parent is very rewarding, its really really hard too. It changes your life forever. Honestly, IMO, I would wait a little longer, enjoy being young and kid free, go and do things that you will find harder with a child (like dining out, going to the movies, travelling - if that is your thing, having parties etc).

As I said, its just my opinion, but once you have kids, you can't put them back (and trust me, sometimes, you want too!)

At 21 I wasnt ready, but I was single and had not long broken up with my long tern partner.
Im 26 now and have been with my DF for 2 years and we decided to start trying when we had been together 6 months, our familys were shocked and told us we were silly, but now our son is 6 months old and we have another one on the way and we are getting married in March, our familys are fine now, they just love their grandson to bits.

Do you YOU feel is right for you, not your family. Its your life your choice.

Hi guys me again, we think along the same lines with the get some money behind us as weve only got about 6000 in our savings but that is growing rapidly. My mum has alot of my baby stuff and i have already bought some bits like some clothes, cross stitched some bibs and toys etc when i get really clucky :P

The thing is we feel like we are ready in ourselves but dont really know if our situation is ready for the baby....
We arent like most average 21 year olds we never go out on late nights, we dont go out to movies and parties alot we prefer to stay at home together and plant out our big vege garden and watch movies at home snuggled on the couch etc. We are considered very boring by 99% of our friends but this is the way we like it.

Also one thing i will stick to is I want all my kids before im 30. I have a very close friend whos just turned 30. She had her first unplanned at 21 and he latest at 29 planned. she said she noticed a major diferrence in her bodies way of coping and found that her second pregnancy was hell!

Also my mum had me at 32 and my bro at 33 1/2. If she wasnt a young minded woman then she would have trouble keeping up with us, i personally think that after 30 is getting a bit on the older side, no offense to the older ones out there coz i want your opinion too but i want to be able to really enjoy every aspect of my kids lives and healthy and energetic enough to do it!

Another quick thing is that my chances with endo severely lower after 30years and since i found my one and only early andnot when im 28 or whatever I figure its my opportunity to have a younger family? my problem is how young is too young? I used to think first at 25 and second at 27 and then i have time for a 3rd if i wanted but now its lowered as you can read...

Edited by matandnic

HAHA yes so iv been told by my "your too young" mother. I know thats what they say but theres also alot of extremes balancing it out like i know a couple of my mums younger friends aka 45's are having their first but i personally think thats wrong for the child but thats just my opinion.

Also its because woman are now choosing to set up a career now and do that for most of their twenties and then settling down. When I look around me though I have more friends that have now had babies and scarily pretty much all of them had girls lol so as I said its 30 because thats the middle number between the extremes like the 45s and the 15yo school girls.

anyway just my opinion of course but it all depends on situation, alot of people dont meet the right man till theyr 30...

Edited by matandnic