Marriage

I never used to think so. always used to say Id never get married but there is something special about standing up in front of the people who care most about you and expressing your feelings and stating your commitment to each other...

I think it still has it place, it confirms your commitment.... I know, I know shouldnt have to be married for this to be obvious but you are promising to spend the rest of your life with someone, to me it seems more than a de facto relationship

In saying that I certainly dont think less of/differently of those not married, its just I like being married...DH and I have been married just over 2 years and together 6 years! Dont know where the time has gone!!

ETA I didnt realise how mushy I am... where has the cynic gone??

Edited by sbeach

I find it quite sad that some people don't 'see the need' for marriage anymore. My DF and I are getting married in Nov this year (YAY!) and altho I'm totally not a fan of the wedding planning process, I'm really excited about having an amazing day with our closest friends and family (only inviting 60 people max) and declaring our love to each other infront of them all. Marriage wont change anything about how we feel about each other, but it is still really important to the both of us that we get married.
When we get married, we would have been engaged for 4yrs, and so many people have said to us 'why are you getting married? You're practically married anyway, what a waste of money'. We have a daughter and everyone seems to think that the only point of getting married is so you can have kids, so the fact that we already have our DD, means we shouldn't get married??!!
To us, it's not the wedding that is important, neither of us see the point in pouring thousands into a lavish event, it really is the marriage itself that is important. I don't really understand how people can justify that sort of expense.

People's priorities seem to have changed and they are focussing more on careers and money rather than old fashioned family values, but I understand why, life aint cheap these days!

I definitely think it has it's place. In generalised terms, NZers aren't the best with sharing emotions, so I think it's great that you have one day that it's perfectly acceptable for a grown man to blub away in front of 100 or so people! We loved having both our families meet and enjoy a good party.

As for marriage - we love actually being married. No confusion with surnames, easy to sort out legal stuff etc etc (all very boring), but I do think it just makes me a bit more content. I was happy before getting married, but it just felt right once we were actually hitched.

ETA I also think now, there's a lot more emphasis put on the wedding rather than the marriage, and that could put people off. It's hard enough saving for a house or studying etc, let alone thinking about saving tens of thousands for a wedding.

Edited by emz

I think marriage definitely still has its place! I completely agree with caliandjack that our relationship is stronger and there is a greater sense of security now that we are married and we both completely trust each other. It makes me very happy to know that our son in coming in to our family and I personally love the idea that all three of us share the same name!

But I understand that everyone has different opinions on marriage and I think that is ok too

I am one of those people that really enjoyed the whole planning of our wedding too, and I love wearing my rings (sometimes I just sit there and watch the diamond sparkle )

I think a lot more people are commitment phobic so therefore don't get married, they can't see how they can be with someone for the rest of their lives.

Marriage to me is that extra step. I knew when I found the right guy to take that step with, up til that time I wasn't interested in marriage.

Plus like Panda...LOVE looking at my rings :) Especially my plain gold band.

Coming from another angle- not married here but we have been together 16 years and have a 2 year old and one on the way. Marriage is something I have never felt the need or want to do, our relationship is secure and strong enough as it stands. I have seen many marriages fail in the time we have been together and while a celebration amongst friends and family sounds great, it's just not for us.

It's very important to me - mostly from a religeous standpoint, with my beliefs I wouldn't be living with DH or having kids with him without it.

Of course, I know that point of view is in the minority nowdays, and I've often wondered how I'd feel if I didn't believe what I do. I think there would definitely be something secure in having made that kind of committment in public. On the other hand, I know an awesome, very loving couple my parents age who've never married but have been together forever and have two grown up children, so it's not like you can't do the long-term relationship thing without it.

I don't really know. I am engaged, have been for about 5 years, but I haven't even started planning a wedding.

To be honest I don't really want to get married now that my dad has died and he won't be able to walk me down the isle. I don't get on that well with my mum either (she doesn't really talk to me) and have hardly any friends so I think that is holding me back as well cos my partner will have lots of friends and family there and I won.t

I love being married sure it has it's ups and downs but imo it is harder to walk away from a marriage than from a defacto relationship.

we have been married for 6 and a half years one thing my husband I both agreed on is we wanted to be married before having children.

marriage to me is the ultimate form of commitement you are getting up in front of family and friends and declaring your love for each other and that you want to spend the rest of your life together.

it is hard to explain but after living together for 5 and a half yeras and then getting married it does feel like our relationship has gotten stronger.

NovemberMum wrote: I love being married sure it has it's ups and downs but imo it is harder to walk away from a marriage than from a defacto relationship. we have been married for 6 and a half years one thing my husband I both agreed on is we wanted to be married before having children. marriage to me is the ultimate form of commitement you are getting up in front of family and friends and declaring your love for each other and that you want to spend the rest of your life together. it is hard to explain but after living together for 5 and a half yeras and then getting married it does feel like our relationship has gotten stronger.

I totally agree