Is it just me...

Or does anyone else find it rather disturbing to see how many YOUNG teenage girls are getting pregnant these days. In NZ particularly, and when I stipulate YOUNG I mean 12-16 years ...anything under the legal age for sex!

I've been killing time, floating around on social networking site bebo, and I'm totally disgusted at the amount of girls that are 13 & 14 years of age and pregnant, plastering photos of their baby bellies on the internet for everyone to see- like it's something to be proud of. THEY ARE KIDS! -WTF! One of them even went to the extent of saying 'our much awaited baby is on its way blah blah, after X amount of months trying' TRYING TO GET PREGNANT AT 13!!!!!!!!!!

Totally throwing away their life & education before it's even really started. Kids having kids - it's crazy. I wasn't even having sex till 15, bordering on 16 and even then I look back now and I didn't really know what the hell I was doing until much later on.

Where are their parents when all this is happening? What would you do if your 13-15yo child (be it girl or boy) came home to tell you this kind of news, would you condone it?

Maybe I'm being too harsh, but I think a child shouldn't legally be allowed to make the decision to keep their baby until the legal age of 16. I don't believe in abortion but I sure as hell don't believe that a 13 year old is emotionally and mentally prepared to bring a child into this world . That is just my opinion.

What are your thoughts?

Mum2Lucas wrote: One of them even went to the extent of saying 'our much awaited baby is on its way blah blah, after X amount of months trying' TRYING TO GET PREGNANT AT 13!!!!!!!!!!

WTF!! Sorry but that was my first reaction. I couldn't even comprehend trying to get pregnant at 25, let alone 13. If Blair came to me in 13 years time to tell me that his 13 yo GF was pregnant, there would be dire consequences. I believe that 13 is way too young, I don't believe that I was an immature/overmature teenage, but there is no way I would have been ready to be a Mum at that age.

If my child told me at 13 my bf and i are going to try for a baby id be ringing doctor phil!!!! I like how he deals with it otherwise ill be on here asking someone with a newborn to come stay for a couple of days and have my child get up for every feed and change

There is no way i could have handled a baby at that age (no offence to anyone that has done it on there own as a very young mum). There are times now when i think im not old enough to handle all this responsibility and im 25 and Josh was planned.

Then again I do have a friend who was 15 (unplanned) and is a wonderful mother and supports herself and baby rather than just relying on her own parents like the young girls that get preg on dr phil. I wouldnt say she threw her life away she still does everything she wants to and is a very responsible parent.

Ok so i dont really know which way to swing with it but its definately tooo young to be planning a baby.

I can see where you are coming from Annie & I agree.

I think I'd be more inclined to adopt the child myself rather than adopt out to another family IF WORSE CAME TO WORST & abortion wasn't an option.I say this for various reasons, my mother is adopted & I have seen the negative effect it has had on her. But that's a diff story for a diff day!




Edited by Mum2Lucas

They start so young nowadays, I can't get over how early some of them are getting their periods either!

I think the media has a lot to answer for ...the clothes available for young girls, BRATZ dolls (ugh I really really hate them)...

Yes, it is scary - and I can say this from the point of view of a fairly young mum (but nowhere near that age!).

Having two daughters (one on the way) it worries me what the world will be like when they are teenagers. I just hope that as parents, we can make them realise that they are loved and they don't need to search for love (which in those circumstances, and at that age - isn't actually love at all).

No offence, AliaDawn, you are doing a great job. I think the point of this thread is the alarming trend of the under 15 birth rate.
When I had just had Charly, My midwife came to see us and said she had had a terrible day, she had had 2 14 year olds book in that day, it just made her so sad. When I had Jake, she had a 12 year old on her books. Blardy sad.

There was a 13 yr old mum in Neonates when we were in there. There were so many times I wanted to scoop that poor baby up and take it home. The "mum" didn't care at all about it. She would come in every 3 or 4 days and spent most of her time there outside smoking, or bringing friends with her and gossiping about boys and sex. I remember at least a week going by where the baby hadn't even been picked up or cuddled and I finally told a nurse who made sure when its next feed was due (tubefeed) she gave it a nice big cuddle    I shudder now to think how that baby is and what its life is like

It was a major talking point to hold hands or kiss a boy at 13, I'm sure!!! (Back in my day lol!!)

Man , i have a lot to say on this , when i was pregnant , at 20 with the C-Meister, I lived at Bethany centre, in Grey Lynn , a home for young mums , I was the oldest one there.
The youngest was 13.
The average age was 15 and a half.
I met about , hmmmm , over the year i was there , 20 of these girls (they come and go)

The comments on here that they think its something cute etc, are unfortunately , so true.
Yes, there are one or two exceptions, as there always are but the majority of young mums i met were "i cant wait til baby is born ,its gonna be so cute, we'll get so much attention ", that was the difference between them and me (oh and that i didnt smoke and come back from my weekends at home reeking of bourbon) i saw a person , that would be my responsibility for the rest of their life, i was thinking ahead to college etc-they were thinking ahead to the delivery room.
They are , quite simply , babies having babies, and trying to explain to them that having a baby doesnt just mean changing , feeding it etc , is impossible, because these girls are stubborn too, even sometimes at 20 i felt i was too young....so bugger 13 .
At least when i had Caitlyn i could legally get into bars (not that i could go out much ha) , buy alcohol, have sex legally etc etc .

I might have joined in this conversation before I got pregnant with Hannah (and then pregnant again after that unintentionally) but I don't think it is helpful to sit here and judge. While I disapprove of trying for a baby at that age, many get pregnant unintentionally, and there ain't much you can do for either case except support them to be good parents once they are pregnant (to their faces and in places like OhBaby)

Yeah I get that it is appalling, but why not go out and do something proactive? Before I got my full time job, I was in touch with the local young parent facility (Welly's version of Bethany) about perhaps going along and helping out. Things like teaching cooking classes... even just hanging out with the girls and getting them talking about their lives and goals (if they had any... and perhaps encourage goals if there weren't any in particular) - actually I may get back into that now that I'm not too stressed.

Anywayyyy... there are other things you can do to help them out - even smiling on the street means a whole lot. I know it does to me anyway - and let's face it - self esteem is a MAJOR issue here.

The only other thing you can do is raise your kids in a responsible way and hope that they pass that on to their friends that may not otherwise get that message.

Oh yeah, and I remember a while back there was a young girl named Tami who came here. She was pregnant at 14 and had her little boy at 15 (I think). I would like to think that while she visited this board she had lots of support though we didn't always disagree with her choices. I would have liked her to stick around so we could continue to encourage her to do great things but unfortunately she stopped coming. Ah well.

And on the other side of things... a friend of the family was pregnant at 17 and I had a lot of hope for her and her baby. Unfortunately she got back into P soon after she had her first, got pregnant again, was hopelessly addicted during that pregnancy and after and screwed over her family who were doing everything they could to support her. They ended up cutting her off which is incredibly sad. I'm not sure anything could have helped her.

Right. Ramble over.