Having planned children young

So my DP and i are TTC, im 21 and he is 24. we havent told anyone that we are TTC and dont plan to until im UTD. we both know this is the right time for us to start our family but dont know what some of the people around us will think

my question is for people that have had planned kids young (ish) did you tell people (family/freinds) that baby was planned, unplanned or just not really talk about it?

Im 23, my DF is 24, everyone knew as soon as we got together last year that we would be heading this way soon. We got UTD on the 2nd month of trying and told everyone when I was 12 weeks. Everyone on both sides of our familes were great- This bubs is the first great grand child and first baby for over 13 years in my family so everyone was very very clucky! I dont think many people asked if bubs was planned, I think they just assumed it was due to how DF and I are together. I would tell them that it was planned, they will soon get over it, you guys are obviously in a good place if you are wanting kids and I wish you all the best

DS was neither planned nor not planned. I was 21 and DP was 19 when we fell pregnant. My mum was not happy about it at first, had high hopes for me...uni, travel etc and didn't want me to follow the same path as my sisters (teen mums, no tertiary education, no travel). She had a major breakdown when she found out. but she soon realised the blessing that had occured and went on a buying spree, and even wanted me to have bubs back in my home town and to stay there for a few weeks. The rest of our families though shocked at first given our age, were really supportive. I'm almost halfway through my degree, DP is a good paying job, and though I'm still to do a big travel abroad.....dp if off half way around the world in 2 weeks time.

So just speak honestly to those who ask, and no matter what reactions occur what you'll have in the end far outweighs any ridicule. Age doesn't define the kind of parent you'll be.

Edited by ooEvaoo

I was the same as HB. Kyra was planned but i fell pregnant earlier then expected. When i told people they were disappointed but they got over it. They had no other choice. The way i saw it was that i didn't care what people thought. It was mine and my partners decision and if anyone had an issue they didn't have to be apart of it. It would be there loss

Guess im a bit of a people pleaser and dont want to disappointed. i know both families will love a baby (first baby in each family- though my brothers partner has a son but he came into our lifes at 8) but it might take them a while to get over the shock. and i know there will be talk at work

Baby Lily wasn't officially planned, while DP and I would like to have waited about another 5ish years before having a baby, we never ruled out the possibility of having one now, and we didn't really do anything to prevent it happening.

DP and I are both going to be 20 in a couple of months time, we're really lucky everyone has been very supportive of us, it makes everything a lot easier. Although like ooevaoo my mum was disappointed because she had high hopes for me too, so was my dad... But they were also very excited to be grandparents. DP's parents were thrilled, especially his mum as she always wanted a girl! Also she was the first grandchild and great grandchild!

I know what you mean about being a people pleaser, I'm rather like that myself! Of course people talk when you choose to have kids young, but at the end of the day it's not really any of their concern! If you're happy with your decision then let them know and they'll (fx) soon get over it!

oh and to answer your question, no one ever asked... I presume they all think she is an accident because of our age lol but I guess she was planned and always wanted, just came a lot sooner than planned iygwim!

Everyone knew dp and I would have kids one day as we've been together 3+ years whereas most of our friends haven't even clocked one year with someone.

I'm 23, DH is 24.
The first we told them she was planned but early, this time he's 1000% planned. To hell with what anyone else thinks, I've made alot of decisions other people have doubted in my life (eg. married at 20) and it's worked out for us wonderously so there!

Thats pretty much it, riled up a little more or toned down depending on who I'm talking to

I think I was 21 when I got preggers. I just told them I was preggers and didn't go into any more detail than that whether it was planned or not. If people didn't agree with me being preggers that young I would have told them to go jump.

People always have opinions.

Dh and i have been together since we were 15. Got pregnant with henry when i was 17, unplanned, although we both really wanted kids just hadn't decided officially to try. Everyone was shocked to say the least. We are both from quite strict, religious families. But everyone has been very very supportive.
Kiara was wanted (oh so wanted by both of us) but we were a bit nervous to try so close to henry. Anyway she happened even though i was on the pill and breastfeeding (a surprise blessing).
Dh is studying full time (has two more years to come out with his physics and forestry engineering double degree) and i am about to start studying full time and hoping to get into midwifery next year.
The thing i find the hardest being a young mum is not what my family does and says. But more what strangers say to me and assume about me. People often assume i am a single mum and all sorts of other things about me too.

Dh and i would like to actually 'try' for our next baby. Hopefully in a few years time.

I personally don't think you need to tell people whether it was planned or not. If they ask i would be honest though. Thats what we have done.

Our children were not planned but were more than wanted.

P.S - i am a people pleaser too