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james 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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 Topic: my regeats
Posted: 24 August 2007 at 10:13pm |
frist this is a "if only" regeat i wish i had breastfeed for longer or had not given up so easly (my milk dried up due to stess) i wish i had taken time enjoying james when he was little (horrable brith with a emergy c-sec) i wish i had been more relaxed as a mum and that i had bonded with james sooner (i did not bond with him at brith that took time) and my only outer regeat is that i didnt know about ohbaby when i was preggy and when james was little ok there i8 said it 
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SMoody
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Joined: 09 January 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 1999
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Posted: 24 August 2007 at 10:27pm |
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The little bit that I pick up from your posts I see you are a great mommy. And I think all of us have regrets but in the end we should just go on for the future and make the best of today.
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Two Blondinis
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: West Auckland
Points: 4370
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 8:43am |
I regret rushing Caitlin through her tiny baby days, like "oh I can't wait until she's doing this or that" I feel like the past year has flown past so quickly that I haven't really had time to stand back and appreciate those moments when she was tiny.
I'm all for making the most of now, and now I know not to rush things I look at her every day and feel truely blessed that I have got to experience watching my daughter develop into a little lady  
Lu - you are a fantastic Mummy!!! And despite everything you went through in the early days you and James have come out the other end shining - you should be very proud of yourself 
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james
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 10:30am |
thanks ladys it just feels better getting it out in the open
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caitlynsmygirl
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Joined: 01 January 1900
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 10:37am |
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yeah i know what you mean
there are plenty of things i regret with caitlyn but you know what ?there in the past and what matters is the job you do now , and from what i see in your posts you adore that little boy and your doing a fantastic job and your the best mummy he could hope for
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SMoody
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Joined: 09 January 2007
Location: New Zealand
Points: 1999
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 12:47pm |
Mmm okay lets see what do I totally regret.
I regret that we had to move with her at 7 weeks. Again at 8 months and then 9 months again and just the hassle after that. It was all neccesary but I really feel quilty about it.
She would still have been sleeping happily in her cot and it would have been easier to move her into her own room and her own bed. So my poor baby is still going to have heartache.
I also feel really quilty of her not having any grandparents over here and will never really have such a close bond to them as such. No nights at Granny's house ect.
But all in all I think my baby (and yip she will always stay my baby) didnt come out too badly. (or so I will tell her shrink one day. 
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Maya
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Joined: 16 September 2003
Location: Sydney
Points: 23297
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 3:52pm |
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Big hugs Lu, you do an amazing job with wee James (who's not so little anymore!) and you are such a sweet and kind hearted person.
I think we all have our regrets tho. I don't really have any with Maya, but with the gremlins it's a case of where to start. I regret not being able to enjoy their newborn days coz there was too much stress just getting thru the day, not asking for more help when I needed it, not giving up breastfeeding sooner....
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Redbedrock
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 8:20pm |
The best thing I ever heard was that none of my concerns would be remembered by Fay, that she would think I was wonderful anyway. I know James feels that way too.
Here's mine, I regret not being able to breastfeed, but I regret more, not accepting that she would be bottle fed a lot sooner so I could enjoy her newborn days more. I regret that we were separated for the first 10days due to her being in neonatal unit. I wish I had felt this love for her in those days, as I do now. But she will never know any of that. Well maybe one day I will talk to her about it.
But I am very proud that inspite of our shaky start on the bonding front, that her eyes light up when she sees me and I am the centre of her world, as I am sure James feels the same for you Lu 
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Katherine
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
Points: 949
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 11:45pm |
What I regret is not trusting myself more. I was so concerned about what others were thinking, and trying to figure out if their advice was worthy or if I should discard it, and so worried about trying to defend my decisions or explain them to people who disagreed with them. The whole, "If I could do it over again, this is how I'd do it differently" thing. But we can't go back, we can only go forward. And if I let myself get too stuck on the mistakes I've made, it's even harder to move forward.
I've always tried to live by the saying, "The only regrets I have in life are the risks I didn't take." It helps me to challenge myself, and the outcome sometimes surprises me. I also believe there's a lesson in everything, and if I've learned something from a situation, then no matter how horrible an experience was, it wasn't worthless or something to beat myself up about. So even the regrets are learning experiences for me. Once I started to "get" that, I got to be easier on myself. I wish I could somehow impart that to the friends I have who spend heaps of time doubting themselves and being hard on themselves!
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CRS
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Joined: 07 May 2007
Location: Auckland
Points: 191
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Posted: 25 August 2007 at 11:52pm |
 Katherine wrote:
What I regret is not trusting myself more. I was so concerned about what others were thinking, and trying to figure out if their advice was worthy or if I should discard it, and so worried about trying to defend my decisions or explain them to people who disagreed with them. The whole, "If I could do it over again, this is how I'd do it differently" thing. But we can't go back, we can only go forward. And if I let myself get too stuck on the mistakes I've made, it's even harder to move forward.
I've always tried to live by the saying, "The only regrets I have in life are the risks I didn't take." It helps me to challenge myself, and the outcome sometimes surprises me. I also believe there's a lesson in everything, and if I've learned something from a situation, then no matter how horrible an experience was, it wasn't worthless or something to beat myself up about. So even the regrets are learning experiences for me. Once I started to "get" that, I got to be easier on myself. I wish I could somehow impart that to the friends I have who spend heaps of time doubting themselves and being hard on themselves! |
  Good post!
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Bonnie, Mum to a 1 1/2 year old & a 3 year old - still RF in their Brio Zento's
CPST & Safe2Go Technician
www.childrestraintsafety.com
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hailstones
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: Dunedin
Points: 1302
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Posted: 26 August 2007 at 9:08am |
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Maya
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Joined: 16 September 2003
Location: Sydney
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Posted: 26 August 2007 at 9:21am |
Redbedrock wrote:
I wish I had felt this love for her in those days, as I do now. But she will never know any of that. Well maybe one day I will talk to her about it. |
My sister said to me once when I was talking to her about the bonding issues I had with the gremlins "I hope you're never going to tell them you didn't want them."
But the funny thing is that at some stage I probably will. Not when they're self-doubting teenagers of course, but when they're grown and having kids of their own, to help them understand that it's normal and ok to feel like that sometimes and it doesn't mean that I don't love them, just that it took me a little longer o get to know them.
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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james
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: New Zealand
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Posted: 26 August 2007 at 4:41pm |
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my regeats
