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Rachael21 View Drop Down
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    Posted: 31 August 2007 at 8:49pm
Jacks biting has moved up a whole new level, he bit almost every kid at playgroup today

The past few weeks he has only bit this one wee baby so we have been putting him in the hallway for a little bit and telling him he has hurt poor zeke (the baby)

Anyway today playgroup started off really well and i spent some time drawing and building blocks with him. We then got the tunnel out for the kids and they were all playing in the tunnel and Jack just got all excited and started biting. It took us a bit to realise it was him biting and not just the kids crying. So as soon as we realised I put him in the hallway. As soon as he came back he went straight back in and tried to bite someone so I put him in the car (he thought the hallway was a great joke). When I went back to get him I explained that biting really hurts but when we went back in he tried to bite again. At that point I just gave up and went home. Luckily all the other mums were really good about it.

Playgroup is the only interaction he has with other kids and I need it as much as he does so I don't want to have to stop going but its looking that way. What am I doing wrong and how can I stop the biting? He doesn't bite Caprece at home and he seems to do when hes excited rather then cos the kids annoy him.
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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2007 at 9:16pm
dont stop going to playgroup pulling him out donst sound like it will work for him or for you just try to be consisted putting him the hall way telling him its naughty to bite. james started biting and all i did was what you are doing maybe playing beside him and keeping a good eye on him when hes playing with the outher kids and showing him how to play nicey with outer kids- so you can react quickly am sure he will pick up that biting is naughty hes still young and you are doing a great job with him
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mum2paris View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mum2paris Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 August 2007 at 11:01pm
Ayja gets like that, she's like a little puppy, she gets all excited and nippy, lol.    although with her, it seems to be when she has teeth coming through she bites anyone and everything in sight, her blankets, toys, cups, the chairs etc.. she actually did this tonight (she has all 4 eye teeth coming through currently), i saw her heading towards paris's arm with mouth wide open, paris managed to grab her arm away and ayja lunged again and again in the time it took me to get over there and stop her (cos my telling offs from the kitchen hadn't worked) she had managed to make a tidy red bite mark on Paris's arm.

Usually after a couple of minutes in time out it takes Paris to go over and show ayja what she did, that shocks ayja into thinking "oh my god" and she does the sorry thing without too much prompting.

But, yes biting is naughty and it hurts kids., but how about instead of focusing on the "that's naughty," stuff, encourage him to find other strategies.. ie, whether he's getting excited and silly, or getting grumpy in a tiz cos some kids doing something that's annoying or whatever.. encourage him to use his words. Remind him as often as you can, remind him he can come to you if there is something bad going on, even just teach him to "STOP" at the top of his lungs. as for being excited, teach him other ways, when he's excited he could hug the child or do something else.

Sometimes it takes a bit of reverse programming, focus on teaching new behaviours when the telling-off doesn't stop the undesirable ones.

also, if it happens soely at the playgroup it could be the attention maybe? so telling him off .. is attention, hence the thinking it s a great joke, he's thinking "HA i got her to stop what she was doing" in a round-about way. Try doing the hallway thing without talking to him, be firm, put him there, and that's it, when you go back talk to him, but at the time you need to show him that's not the way to get your attention. I usually tell the girls that too after the time oue, that's not the way to get my attention, that they could do X or X or X that would get them nice attention which is much much better.

hope some of that helps and doesn't just sound like a load of bull.

Edited by mum2paris
Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja

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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2007 at 7:25am
hehehe thats what i was trying to say but sleep depervation got in the way
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Rachael21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2007 at 10:19am
Thanx those are some really good ideas. I'll give them a go. I just don't think my way is working cos he thinks its a great joke being put in the hall way. I even tried to bite him back but he thought that was even funnier so I won't be doing that again. Jack has all but 4 molars so I don't think hes teething.
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nikkitheknitter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote nikkitheknitter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2007 at 11:05am
Hannah is a biter too and I completely understand how you feel!! It's so horrible as the mother as there isn't a whole lot you can do... you just have to try and provide the tools for them to make it through the stage.

Like Janine said, encouraging other means of communication is the best way to deal with it long term. Also watching when he is getting tired or hungry and removing him from situations when that time is getting near to prevent biting from happening. I find Hannah bites most at those times, so I get ready to go home as soon as she starts getting tired or scratchy.

I don't know how to deal with excited biting though... Han only really does it in conflict situations where is the most effective means of getting her own way It is bizarre sometimes as she'll bite herself when she is really frustrated, atleast then she knows it hurts!

And when talking to Jack maybe concentrate on how it makes the children feel rather than biting being "naughty"... when they can see the effect it has on other children they start to realise how much it hurts! Altho again, this knowledge flies out the window when they get into a crazy situation.

And maybe involve Jack in smaller group situations where it isn't so full on. Then you can keep a closer eye on him without going insane yourself!

Good luck Rach... it does pass eventually, but not any time soon unfortunately. Hannah just tried to bite a kidlet yesterday, luckily I saw it happening and was able to dive in and part them before she clamped down too hard.
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lizzle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01 September 2007 at 6:47pm
boys tend to have trouble communicating - it seems (and my "extensive" research tells me) so sometimes biting is just how they tell someone things. Taine loves to bite - when he teeths, or just when something is near his mouth. When Jake was little, he did the same thing. MUm bit him back and he laughed and slapped her in the face. we don't do that now. he went to daycare and they basically got him out of it. Does Jack go to dayacre? cause you can ask them for help too. Just consistency I guess, and make a big deal about comforting the victim.
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Rachael21 View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Rachael21 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 September 2007 at 1:40pm
No he doesn't go to daycare but I really want to put him in for one day a week. At home he tries to bite me when we are playing but I see it coming so I can move away but the wee kids at playgroup don't see it coming. Today I have been putting him in the hallway every time he goes in for a bite and saying poor mummy is hurt so hopefully he starts to calm down a wee bit.
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