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buzimumto3boys
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Topic: DV next door... do you ring the police? Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:25pm |
My friend was woken last night by screaming and she went to find out where it was coming from... when she was outside she ran into 2 other neighbours who were also trying to see where it was coming from... it was a guy smacking his GF and she was screaming for help... my friend could hear every blow etc... so anyways the other 2 guys decided that there was nothing they could do and didnt want to get involved (both big lads)
My friend went straight inside and called the police who arrived within 5 mins... they never spoke to my friend for her own safety I guess...
So why do some people not do anything??
With all the publicity lately you would think more people would ring the cops... what would you have done??
I understand to some it would be scarey but the police will never say where the complaint came from... there are at least 6 houses very close together...?
Sorry but just needed to know what other people would have done... its been bugging me all day!!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:32pm |
I definately would phone, how could you live with yourself if you didn't?
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Aprilfools
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:35pm |
Yep - I would've called them too. It's a horrible feeling thinking that no one is going to help you. Your friend did the right thing as that situation could have got a lot worse. Ignoring is almost as bad encouraging it IMO. That poor woman. I hope she's okay.
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buzimumto3boys
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:38pm |
Yeah my friend said she hasnt heard or seen anything in the house today... dont know what the outcome was...
She said the woman was crying for help and screaming etc. She said it was awful hearing the blows...I could never ignore it!!!
Wonder if the guys shrugged it off because men dont think that much of it?? Otherwise I cant explain it!!
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busymum
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:40pm |
We used to live in an alright neighbourhood with a tinny (sp?) house almost opposite, and whenever we heard roudiness from parties etc we were never quite sure if it was just people fooling around or actually getting overly angry with each other - it was always guests and always just yelling that we heard. We only called the cops once I think (in a year or two), but it was always so hard to make that judgement call.
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busymum
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:41pm |
Oh and, of course I would have called if I heard blows!!
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buzimumto3boys
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:51pm |
Yeah it is hard... we heard a domestic between a pregnant lady once and a man... she was screaming about being pregnant but we had no idea where the screaming etc was coming from... called the cops but they couldnt find them either
I hope my friend gets some sleep tonight she was so worried about it happening again!!
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Aprilfools
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 9:56pm |
It's even worse when they're pregnant. There was a domestic outside my mum's place once between a pregnant couple. The guy punched his girlfriend right in front of the guys that were fixing mums roof so they grabbed him and then rang the cops. What the hell is wrong with these people??!!
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cuppatea
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 10:00pm |
Aprilfools wrote:
It's even worse when they're pregnant. There was a domestic outside my mum's place once between a pregnant couple. The guy punched his girlfriend right in front of the guys that were fixing mums roof so they grabbed him and then rang the cops. What the hell is wrong with these people??!! |
I'm glad to hear those guys did the right thing.
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 10:08pm |
At our last place there was a couple having a domestic on their back verandah one night at about 2am, and I was debating whether or not to call the cops until I poked my head up to the window and saw him swinging a bottle around - I was on the phone to 111 when I heard glass breaking, so glad I made the call (police and ambulance showed up within 5 mins)  I would definitely have called the police in the situation your friend was in.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 18 September 2007 at 10:43pm |
maybe if more people called the police in situations like these there would be less statistics of death caused by domestic violence, maybe if the people who saw nia glassie on the roof had called the police the outcome for that girl could have been slightly different (tho i think mentally the damage would have been done) .
If we dont speak up for people,how can we ever expect anyone to speak up for us?
i can understand if you didnt have anonymity,but we do,noone has to know who called.
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buzimumto3boys
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 7:27am |
Aprilfools wrote:
The guy punched his girlfriend right in front of the guys that were fixing mums roof so they grabbed him and then rang the cops. What the hell is wrong with these people??!! |
Good to hear they did something about it!!
My friend said the house was very quiet over night.
I agree... If we dont all do something about the violence in the community it will keep happening because these people will think they can get away with it!
I have thankfully never been subjected to Domestic Violence but I can only imagine how it must be  and to think if my friend hadnt called the police and the girls screams went unreported - she would have felt worse knowing the neighbours heard and didnt do anything to stop it.
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lizzle
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 7:43am |
not sure if any palmy people remember this, a woman was beaten up or killed in the middle of a group of house on Vic. Ave. basically everyone was home, it was early evening and everyone would've been able to hear it. the police charged them all with obstruction or accessory or something because NO ONE called the cops. I think the charges were dropped eventually.
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hailstones
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 8:00am |
caitlynsmygirl wrote:
maybe if more people called the police in situations like these there would be less statistics of death caused by domestic violence, maybe if the people who saw nia glassie on the roof had called the police the outcome for that girl could have been slightly different (tho i think mentally the damage would have been done) .
If we dont speak up for people,how can we ever expect anyone to speak up for us?
i can understand if you didnt have anonymity,but we do,noone has to know who called. |
I completly agree!!!
And Lizzle I was going to say something similar to you as well - How would those guys have felt if in the morning the cops were there and no longer for DV but for a death!! I think in these kind of situations you have to put yourself in the victims shoes and ask yourself - what would I want to be done about this? I know I would certainly want the cops called.
I think if it was happening nextdoor to me and DH was home I would have a job at trying to stop him from going over and sorting the pr*ck out (although we live right in front of local cop so it would take less than 2 minutes for him to be there).
I don't know how anyone could walk away!!
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mum2paris
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:06am |
when we were in our upstairs flat a few years ago a young couple moved in downstairs, Actually thinking back i think it was a chick and her "girlfriend"  she had a little boy who went to the same daycare as our girls in the same area as paris at that time. Her partner (or ex, or whatever the heck he was) would come to pick up the child, his missus would park the car out in the flat-complex car park and yell abuse out the window, (which was a long way, because our flats were at the end of the section furthest from there) he would also turn up drunk on thursday, friday saturday nights and hang out there and it always ended up in abuse and yelling, we were really grumpy our peaceful little block of flats had these people living there!
Once when my sister was staying, we were all woken about 2am on saturday morning to hear things being thrown (the walls were concrete so it echoed loud) they were screaming, the little boy was there, we were about to get up and ring the police when SMASH we hear their ranchslider door shatter. and we heard him leave. one of our other neighbours had called the police anyway. we looked over the balcony the next day to see the ranchslider door out on the grass in the middle of the yard.. and various other pieces of furniture in states of broken-smashedness.
I worried most for the little boy, i would always feel better when i went to daycare in the mornings and saw that yes, he was there that day. Not too long after that.. things had calmed down after the 1st incident... we again woke to hear the guy one night (well, about 4 am in the morning,) again with the throwing stuff and breaking stuff, and then we hear the hitting, and both ladies and the little boy and that was it, i was up and rung the police in a flash. We heard them arrive and i finally felt i could go back to sleep. We didn't see any of them for days, when we did the poor mum had a very bruised face, Not too long after that the boy stopped attending daycare and they moved somewhere else. It always worried me that they had moved on, to somewhere else, where maybe the next time the neighbours wouldn't step in and ring.
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Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Paws
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:11am |
I'd definelty phone...heck knowing my track record I'd probably even jump in and help if I had too. I've been in the middle of stopping an armed hold up before and I don't tend to think twice about that sort of stuff. If someone is in trouble you do something, even if it is just calling the police. I don't understand people who hesitate or worse do nothing.
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MummyFreckle
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:19am |
buzimumto3boys wrote:
Yeah my friend said she hasnt heard or seen anything in the house today... dont know what the outcome was... She said the woman was crying for help and screaming etc. She said it was awful hearing the blows...I could never ignore it!!! Wonder if the guys shrugged it off because men dont think that much of it?? Otherwise I cant explain it!! |
I dont think that guys shrug this off - we had an incident like this next door to us, and although we called the cops, DH wasnt going to go over / get involved either. We talked about it afterwards, and he said that his logical brain told him that if someone was willing to smack his wife / gf around then they wouldnt think twice about beating the crap out of him or coming over and laying into me. I think that most men would be horrified / disgusted at this behaviour.
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Anna
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:29am |
I personally feel it would be best to call the cops, even if you are not sure. I think it would be better to haul the cops over even if not needed than to not call the cops and find out later that you should've.
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Anna
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buzimumto3boys
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 9:59am |
My DH is a large guy... 6'4" and used to play rugby so he has a big frame as well... but he shys away from conflict but he said he would step in if he had to - also he would cus he knows if he didnt I would!!
Thats so sad mum2paris... Imagine if they moved somewhere rural where there were no neighbours to ring!!
I shudder to think sometimes.
My friend was very disapointed the 2 guys didnt want to do anything... she said one almost laughed it off and said leave them to it ?!?!?! I dont know many women that could ignore it but wondered if it was a male thing... more likely a personality thing.
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Andie
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Posted: 19 September 2007 at 10:07am |
I totally agree with Anna. So much domestic violence goes unreported - it's about time people started getting involved. We used to have particularly violent and unstable guy living next door. We'd called the police on him a couple of times already - he was a nasty piece of work. I've been known to march on up to the house and get the kids out while DH called the Police, and it turned out that that time he'd been threatening their mum with a huge knife. My heart breaks for those kids.
...stick your beak in, peoples and ring the police! - if you can hear the fighting from your house, it's 10x worse for the people in the house.
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Andie
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