question about Christian marriage

In the "Who's the boss?" thread, Clare asked:

joshierocks wrote: are those of you in Christian marriages of the belief that the woman should be submissive to their husband in marriage?

As Christians, Nat and I do believe this. However, personally I believe I can be submissive without being a doormat! As a Christian woman, I believe God designed marriage to be between a man and a woman, and that He placed the man in charge - because at the end of the day someone has to make the final call! I choose to defer to Nat's authority as the head of our family out of respect both of Nat and also of God and His teachings in the Bible.

I'm with them My DH doesn't 'lord over me' but there have been times when we have disagreed and I've stood back and let him make the decision.

Edited by busymum

This is a really interesting dicussion. I dont come from a christian background although DH is a lazy catholic. I "think" we handle things fairly evenly but then again you know how we joke about letting men think they have won? Maybe he does that to me

I have to admit that whilst I think women are just as capable as men at doing almost anything, society is falling apart due to a lack of distinct roles. And I think men are suffering more as a result to maybe you girls are on the right track. Let them be top dog....as long as they never abuse the position.

Wow, what a powerful topic. I think its got to be each couples decision about who plays what role. Personally, I am not 'submissive' to my husband. Then again, we aren't religious so perhaps that is a factor. We do make most decisions together but it is me that has the final say. I run the household and make decisions with regards to our well being.

In times gone past I feel that perhaps the man was more in charge by default because they went to work, earned the money and the wife stayed home, looking after the house and children. It just simply isn't like this for some people these days and it must have some impact. More and more I see women returning to work, some out of need, some out of want.

Our circumstances may be attributed also to money, and how much we are paid. As a woman who earns over double what her husband does, I feel that this has a big impact on who makes the decisions in our house.

me neither..although we aren't in a Christian marriage as such... even if i earned more than him I would probably still listen to him more about things..in our case generally he is more logical and practical and always considers my opinion..i don't think I necessarily back down to him but weirdly although i was raised in a military household my Mum was the boss yet I still look to my husband as the 'decision' maker.. :) albeit with my input..

Wow I love this topic. I try very hard to be the submissive wife casue I know that is the order God has put into place. I love and trust my husband and when the big desions' need to be made and we can't agree I go with him cusase as someone said before he is who hs to answer to God.

fattartsrock wrote: And those who know me will laugh at this, but I prefer to be submissive as well...

I was just reading through the posts in this one and came to the last one, which really made me think.
ANd i realised OMG yes! Its funny as people who know me know I am a very strong woman who makes her own deisicions about her life and how she lives it.
But what they dont know is that I would not make a desicion of importance without consulting my husband first! he controls the money (really) and our bills. I watch the house and ensure that it is a clean and healthy environment for us all.
Im not a doormat and I am a strong woman, but i must say, I am fairly sumissive to my husband. And it doesnt bother me a bit! :)

Edited by almostthere

If it was something I felt really strongly about, I would express that in our discussion so DH would know how strongly I felt.   Its hard to answer your question (my2angels) because it would depend on the circumstance. Generally if you are submitting to your husband, you do it as a principle in your marriage, not based on how strongly you felt about something. In saying that, don't assume that DH's never change their minds. We are both equals and if I felt so strongly about something, I think DH would probably back me up!

I don't actually like the word submissive as it does imply the doormat sort of idea where a woman has no say...which is not what it is about....

As JD said....the husband has to answer to God and if he has abused his position as head of the household then he could have a LOT to answer for. That is why he has to have respect for his wife and take into account her wants,needs and skills and abilities and desires as well.

I hope that makes sense.

can i ask a question? and in no way is it meant to offend anyone, but what does it mean when you guys say the man answers to God? does that mean when they die or all the time?