Letter from my dad

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   My dad is a man of few words when it comes to emotional stuff, he's always upfront about the negative stuff but doesn't often praise the positives. He

s also a big letter writer, in the past when we've been having issues with our relationship (and believe me, we've had issues!) he would often write to me and tell me how he was feeling. Usually it was about how he was disappointed with some of the decisions I've made, how I can do so much better with my life etc. etc. 

I've also often said that just once in my life I'd like to be able to say to my parents "I'm pregnant" and have them say congratulations instead of "you've ruined your life" (Maya) "what the hell are you doing having another baby?" (our angel) "they'll be a noose round your neck" (the gremlins). So you can understand me being very apprehensive about telling dad about this baby given that the circumstances are less than ideal.

So I finally told him when I was 10 weeks, mostly coz he was about to come to NZ and I wouldn't be able to hide the vomiting etc. from him, and on the plane on the way over he wrote me a letter. Yesterday (my birthday) he gave it to me. I was nervous to read it coz I knew it was going to tell me how much harder my life was going to be with four kids, how useless Willie is etc. etc.

So you can imagine my surprise when I read how proud of me he is, how excited he is about baby #4, how lucky he thinks I am to have been blessed with 3 and a bit beautiful children, and how much joy my kids have brought them, and how proud he is of me for finishing uni and balancing work with the kids etc. It made me cry!

It means so much to me to know that he is proud of me, for all the problems we've had in our relationship it's the only thing I've ever wanted and the one thing I thought I'd never get.