Not coping with PG & Toddler

I know I don't post heaps here so apologies but I'm really not sure what to do...

I'm a SAHM to Miss 18 months and also pregnant (which you can probably gather from tickers, but never hurts to state the obvious!) For the past few weeks I've been having absolutely terrible insomnia (managing 'maybe' 3 hours total a night) and I'm now very close to losing the plot altogether.

If it was just me, I'd be fine. Not joyously happy of course but I'd cope. But with having to look after a house (albeit I'm only doing the minimum to survive at the moment) and a very energetic bubbly toddler, I'm really struggling. It's to the point now where I'd happily put her in some form of care - except there's just no way we can afford it, not to mention the stress / hassle of finding a decent place and getting in, what with wait-lists and all. My DH has been as wonderful as he can be (well, most days ) but if he takes any more leave before the birth there won't be anything left for after the birth, not to mention I have anywhere from 6 - 8 weeks left of pregnancy!

In short, I don't know what to do. it's to the point now where she watches a DVD every morning and a DVD every night, plus child-appropriate TV when it's on. I hate parenting this way (or more specifically, not-parenting) but I can't think of anything else. It's to the point where I'm seriously considering getting SKY despite the fact I don't see how the budget would stretch to it, just to have something relatively ad-free that is ok for her to watch.

I just don't know what to do anymore... And I'm really saddened that my last couple of months with just her is being spent basically ignoring her altogether.

Is she happy when she's watching her movies? Are you happy when she's watching them?

If so, don't worry about it. Don't worry about the house either.

Just concentrate on having some chill out time when she's watching her movies. It's only going to be for a little while longer.

Have you thought about applying to Winz and seeing if you are entitled to 9hrs free care? If you are you could put her into some kind of care 2 days a week, that way you could have YOU time before baby arrives.

You'll be ok.

Whereabouts in Auckland are you? Are there playgroups in your area?

Aww chick, I was very much the same when I was preg with Benjy.
It is horrid not being able to sleep when you know that your little one is going to be up and wanting your undivided attention in a matter of hours!
Like you, I just did what I had to do to get by. The chores that could wait, waited for the weekend and Ella got a lot of TV and DVD time!
There were days when all I could do was lie on the couch and she would play around me. I'd only get up for toilet stops and getting her food and nappies.
Don't feel bad about it. Its just temporary and she's not going to be any worse off for it.
It will get better, I actually got a lot more sleep after Benjy arrived than I did before, even with the 2-3 hourly feeds LOL!

do you have family around??? any friends with kids of a similar age?? someone to take her even for 2 hours a day etc?

or even going to likes of st lukes and putting her in their temp care for a few hours - go sit in parents room with a mag and breath....or if close enough pay for say 4 hours and give them your cell and then go home for a sleep....

if you are flush try that service that is in littlies mag i think it is this month where they come and take over for you - or try nanny centre and hire someone for a week - even if 2-4 hours a day...might be worth your sanity....

if not how about phoning CAB and ask if they can suggest anyone in your area for assistance. You can also call CYFS for assitance with respite care...they arent always bad. loads of organisations offer respite care - Barnardoes etc....and i fyou explain your situation Im sure someone will step up..

LOL love idea of poor emmas nanny being avail for all and sundry....ROFL!!!

Yeah, bring Z up here and my nanny will watch her for a few hours to give you a break! I wouldn't cope with being pregnant and chasing the gremlins without my nanny, I LOVE work coz it is so much less labour-intensive than being a mummy!

Also, don't sweat the TV thing, Maya was a total square eyes when I was preg with the gremlins, she even learnt how to turn the DVD player on etc. in the mornings when I was glued to my bed with a spew bowl. And she's perfectly fine now, a few months of it didn't do her any harm at all. I wish the gremlins would watch TV but they have the attention span of a flea!

Hi! Haven't seen you around for a while. Insomnia is horrible so I really feel for you.

Take up Emma's suggestion or bring Z over here to play with Elle for a bit while you take some time out to rest.

Probably the only thing you can do, hard as it is, is to reach out to those around who can look after Z / have a cuppa around the house / help you with some domestic stuff. You know where we are

Hang in there.

LOL, you'll see by now that we all went/are going through the same thing!!

If you feel really guilty about all the tv (I know i did!) go to the library and choose some books together - Joey LOVES just chilling out sitting with me while I read to him. I let Joey watch tv pretty much whenever he wanted for the last 2 months of my pregnancy, LOL, he knew our little einsteins dvd off by heart! Now that Lily is here, life is back to normal and he hardly watches tv at all - deosn't seem to miss it either

Don't apologise for asking for help! That's what OhBaby is here for and what makes you a great mum - remember that OK?

I think all the ladies have given good advice. I agree with cuppatea & GandT, see your doc about helping you sleep first, which should help make it easier to cope during the day. Forget about the housework, and don't be afraid to ask for or accept help.

Oh and I'm definitely making use of the TV particularly in that last hour or so before DH gets home. You have to do what you need to get through, and I really don't think Z will be any worse off for it.

Lots and lots of

Playhouse disney is the best channel in the world for toddlers. If I need some time to myself I put that one and Andrew will watch it happily for hours.