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Bizzy View Drop Down
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    Posted: 24 February 2008 at 10:51pm
Ok so after reading janines post about her 3 yr old and the mask party i was left wondering about kids parties...

Is it parents who give kids expectations of parties or are some kids just more aware.???

I havent ever really had a "party" for my kids, just family afternoon tea type affairs...gabriel is 4 now and only becoming aware of parties and birthdays and toby - who will be 3 in july - has no idea either.

Yet on another board i am on with kids the same age as toby the kids have already planned their parties, who they will invite, what sort of cake etc...

This year because gabriel will be 5 will be the first year i will actually be hosting a party for him...and no doubt toby wont get a proper party till 5 either.

So am i the weird one? what is the deal about a party every year? and giving such young children choices about said parties? are we not just setting them up to expect bigger and better parties every year? Or is it something i will understand once i have a girl?      

Edited by GandT

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AliaDawn View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote AliaDawn Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 24 February 2008 at 11:29pm
I had very few parties as a kid - maybe a couple when I was too young to remember... and that wasn't very flash! mostly relatives (we don't have many anyway) and a few family friends + their kids. We would usually have a "treat" for our birthdays - go to the movies, or a trip to fantasyland (is now splash planet in hastings) Or a dinner at pizza hutt... but then alot of kids these days would consider those things normal.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mummy_becks Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 1:51am

Andrew had a big BBQ with family and our friends for his 1st. His second we went out for dinner with family and his friend Holly and her mum. His 3rd was a party for him and his friends. We took them to lunch at McDonalds and then went back to the in laws were they played and the adults (family and a couple of the childrens parents) had nibbles and we did the cake. I'm thinking his 4th would be a party with 4 friends and games and then the 5th a big one.

Josh just had his 1st and again it was a BBQ with our friends and family. I'll do the same things for him that Andrew got.

As for me I had a party every year till I was 10, some years it was just a few friends over for food but still a party. My 10th ws my biggie when I went to Cobb'n'Co with a couple of friends we were so grown up.

I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Jennz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 2:47am
In NZ for each of Charlottes parties (she had 2 before we left) we just basically had family, our close friends and a couple of Charlottes friends. We hired a few big toys and ate lots of junk food and had the whole cake thing. It was more for us really than her I think.

Over here (in the area we are in anyway) kids parties are a BIG DEAL. You hire a venue- either a soft play or a room and an entertainer, and then do a big seated meal for the kids (party food) afterwards. We went to a disney princess theme one yesterday and the party bags we bought home would have been worth almost as much as the present we got the kid! I won't even mention the cake- put my wedding cake to shame.

We will be doing parties for both the girls each year- mainly because I love doing them Birthdays have always been a big deal in my family (Mums side)- I let Charlotte have input (like this year she wants a tinkerbell cake) to a point and so far the requests have been pretty reasonable.

I don't think you're at all weird for not doing it. My Dad has never been into birthdays and thinks parties should be saved for the special birthdays. I don't think its necessarily a girl thing either- the boys parties over here are often just as extravagant! We won't be getting bigger and better as time goes on- we have a budget for how much we would feel comfortable spending on a party and I doubt that is going to go up.
Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3

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EmDee View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote EmDee Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 5:43am
We had a party for Ollie's first birthday but won't be doing that every year. Anyway I think it was more a celebration of the fact that we (Stu & I) made it to his first birthday!

We will 'celebrate' birthdays every year, but it will mainly be just a lunch/afternoon tea with family and close friends or maybe having a friend or two over when he gets a bit older. We will give him a party for his 5th birthday but haven't really though about it beyond that.
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lizzle View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lizzle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 6:44am
jake's first birthday also conincided with us leaving Japan, so we invited a rther big amount of people. in japan - that is not really the done thing. The people we invited were ones that had met him and were close to us. His daycare asked if they could tkae him to the zoo so those kids could spend time with him, so we only invited my japanese teacher's little girl Ayaka, the rest were adults.
Taine - we invited all of our playcentre - about 10 adults and 20 kids. We had a ball - BUT his birthday is in summer and we had a huge yard at the time
Jake's second was close fmaily and friends and they have all continued to be so. I love the parties, but after Jake's first one was a huge deal (i refeused to have chicken nuggets and made them from scratch), I am a lot more relaxed about them - having food the ids like rather than food I can show off my cookng skills about.

i love making the cakes though!
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Paws View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:00am
I don't think you are wierd....I imagine we'll just keep doing the "family and close friends in the park/backyard" thing until Maddie is old enough to appreciate a "proper" party.

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Sarah Beth View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sarah Beth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:14am
I am with Paws, family and close friends for our parties, and even then, 1st and 5th will be the bigger ones.

Am glad you said something though Deb as was starting to feel inadequate about the birthday I have planned for Jack!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aimeejoy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:38am
We had a party for Hannahs first birthday, but she wont be getting another one like that until she is 5. Same with Greer. I think those are the special ones, tho the first birthday party is more for the parents!! For the other birthdays, I will still make a cake etc, but probably just a little family afternoon tea type thing. So no, youre not weird
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peanut butter View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote peanut butter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:40am
I think thats pretty reasonable. I worry that kids today get too many things too soon and nothing is special (I have my "I'm old" hat on today).

I expect to have a 1yr party as doubledee said, mainly to celebrate 1 yr since WE had him rather than anything he gets a say in (tehehe). and then I wouldnt expect a party till he was 5yrs, 13yrs, 16yrs and 21st.

I'm sure there will be the odd one thrown in but I dont want to have to do something amazing each year. I expect that we will do something special on each birthday (maybe a couple of mates around or go out etc but not the full on guest list party)/

But I'll probably cave in and get off my old high horse.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Glow Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:41am
I never got a proper party till i was 6.
Braes first 2 parties where just family & we had a small arvo tea type thing.
I did do a train party for his 3rd & invited his friends & did the whole games, party food & cake etc. Dont think ill be doing another proper party till he is 5-6. Definitely not something i want to do every year
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Mazzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Mazzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 8:57am
It's not something I had actually thought about for my kids. I love planning parties, but now that you mention it I remember not having birthday parties each year as a kid, and that made the big ones (5 years old, 10 years old, 13 years old I think?) even more exciting. Even though the 'big' parties were more often just a few of my friends for a slumber party night or something like that.
I think if you want to do themed parties for your kids and can afford to do so, then that's really cool. There are still ways to limit expectations/budget within that and it's fun to celebrate your kids and do something special with them. I guess it also depends on your definition of a 'party'.
For us, I don't think we'll be doing a big party for DD until her 5th. We will always do a cake and something special for the birthday, but not with heaps of friends/favours/etc.
Jen, those parties in London sound amazing!
Mum to two gorgeous girls!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bombshell Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:01am
deb i dont think you are weird at all....but then i have to say that we are planning a bigger one year old party and the next big one will be when she is five! have gone to point of hiring stuff but DH doesnt necessarily agree....oh well!

I grew up with large parties - usually 10-20 kids at each one and an amazing cake = mum did my one every second year which was really cool!

WHen i was in states birthdays were huge events and we did amazing loot bags and everything had to match - so guess i still have a little of that left rubbed off on me!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote fattartsrock Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:09am
We didn't have a 1st bday party for Jake per se, more just family around for afternoon tea and he had one little friend. We did have LOTS of kids for his second bday party, as his 1st birthday was more for me, his second was for him, if you get my drift, but our bday partys are more just kids playing outside and party food, we had hats and a banner (that I have had since rods 40th, lol) I can't get into the loot bad thing, its expensive enough as it is. We have a huge yard and lots of cool toys and I love all the kids playing.

We did the same thing for Chars first birthday as we did for Jakes 2nd, mostly Jakes wee friends and their wee bros and sisters as we see them all the time. It was great(except the weather. This time, though I invited my Midwife, as we won't be using her again, lol, and she is one of the family!

Probably now, it won't be weekend parties, it will be a wee morning tea, if anything, and have a big blow out at 5.

Having said that, I love kids parties, the chaos etc. Not so much into the whole theme and loot bag thing, cos I'm tight and I don't want to set expectations, but different strokes for different folks. Having said that, though, we did have a wiggles table cloth and table wear, lol as Jake is fully into Wiggles, but that was that was all!

Edited by fattartsrock
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote susieq Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 9:14am
We did parties for Caitlynsmygirl(Kelly at 1, 5 and 10 and 16 and 21 and the same for her brother and sister
Her sister(special needs) still loves birthdays but then is developmentally delayed
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shorty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 10:04am
We did a 1st birthday gathering of close friends and family, but that day was special for DH & I aswell
We are not planning a "party" till he is 5, we will keep it as close family and friends.
The day is about the child (and parents for surviving) I think that can be forgetting sometimes.
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Maya View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Maya Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 2:07pm
Maya's first and second were family and friends occasions, more of a get together of adults than kids. Her first we hired her daycare centre (but only coz it rained, we originally planned to have it at a park) and her second was a backyard BBQ.
By 3 she had her own little friends so she had her first kiddie party, it was pretty low key, we had it at McDonalds and she invited about 10 of her playcentre/daycare friends. Her fourth was similar but at Chipmunks.
Her fifth was more expensive but she had her heart set on Butterfly Creek and being her fifth I wanted it to be a bit special. It was definitely worth it, the kids had a great time. I do her cake every year altho this year a friend did it as I ran out of time.

The gremlins first was HUGE but again mostly an adults gathering, their "friends" are more like my friends' kids so adults and kids came. I wanted it to be huge tho as their first year was such a challenge and I was really proud to get to their first birthday in one piece. Their second will probably be smaller but again family and friends until they are older and have their own little friends.

Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 2:48pm
LOL emma - i know about yours - i think we've attended them all!!!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote 11111 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 4:26pm
As kids we alway's had every second birthday we could have a party teh other's were one or 2 very close friends and usually something pretty simple we will be doing the same for our's I think it work's well so we did a first for both boy's and Alan's 3rd we had party. So next will be mikey's 3rd then Alan's 5th it work's well for us I not very creative and hate too many people at once in the house.   So in short Deb no its not weird at all.
Deborah Mum to:

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote FionaS Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 25 February 2008 at 7:49pm
We didn't do a big 1st bday party as I was shattered and Elle wouldn't remember it. I don't think we will do a big second b'day. I may do something more exciting when she is old enough to understand what is going on but it still won't be huge. Kids love the simple things in life!

Not sure exactly what I'll do when she is older but there are sure to be parties and friends involved.
Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley
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