Am I weird?

I'm meant to be miscarrying, my hcg levels had dropped when I had my last bloods (friday) and I've had very mean drugs to "help me along" to make sure this ectopic gets flushed.

Thing is, and this might sound heartless or anything..

But.. I actually don't care that I'm miscarrying. I just want it to hurry up already.

Is this weird?

No I felt like that too, after the scan confirmed for sure that things weren't progressing as they should I just wanted it to end. I was actually relieved when the bleeding started and I am now relieved that it has stopped. I am upset but a lot of it is that I feel that I should be more upset, if that makes sense. I think that perhaps it just hasn't sunk in properly yet.

Yeah I want the bleeding to hurry up and start - so long as it's not the hemmorraging that I'm being supervised for.

But I think that will show too, my CM has a pink tinge to it so I'm thinking it won't be too far away. Esp since it's been 5 days since I got those drugs in my system.

But I really don't care that it's miscarrying. The biggest part that sucks is that I'm not allowed to try again for 6 months! Grr!

I think that's a normal response, but at the same time, be prepared for a bit of a rollercoaster over the next few weeks, things seem to hit you when you least expect it, esp with all the hormones etc. involved.

OK so I've been thinking about this since yesterday, and I need to say this. Ouch! I'm a bit offended by your last post Stacey. This is pure;y my opinion, not getting at you personally, but it's going to make my head explode if I don't get this out.
I mean, sure, we all know people who have been thru tough times, I have several friends who have had stillborn babies at term, and a close friend who lost her son to SIDS at 7 months in Feb '06, and that's truly tragic for them. But that doesn't undervalue the things that I have been thru in my life. Who decides which is "worse" and who's had the roughest deal? IMO there is no "worst", each experience is what it is to those going thru it.
I'm normally an incredibly strong person, I take on the problems of the world and don't often take time to feel sorry for myself, but losing my baby was, and is, the most devastating experience I have ever been thru in my life and I don't feel I'm weak because I grieved and raged and reacted to it.
I wasn't suggesting that you definitely *would* go thru the whole rollercoaster thing, just to give you some idea of what *might* happen.

I don't think you need to worry Emma - losing a pregnancy/baby is a very personal thing and also dependent on a lot of hormones etc so I would never consider someone weak for 'caring' about their loss. Nor would I consider someone callous for not outwardly dealing with the same thing.

I'm a bit of a stony heart and like to move on from these things quickly. I must admit with the pregnancy I terminated, I did have a massive crying session (which I entirely blame on hormones) but then I got over most of it and just wanted it to happen.

Anyway, internalise away Stacey We all have to deal with these things how we need to!