i found this , it might help ?(btw, sorry you have to go through this

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1: Look out for the warning signs that you are being lined up for a disciplinary procedure.
Only reckless bosses sack people on the spot. Well-organised employers will take steps to show that they are being fair to ward off the spectre of paying out for unfair dismissal.
Underperformers will receive warnings about capability. They will be given specific improvement targets and time frames, and told how the company will help.
It is only if the employee fails to make the required improvement within this period that the employer may be justified in taking action, which may include dismissal on notice.
Under New Zealand law, says lawyer Andrew Scott-Howman of Bell Gully Wellington, the employer must give an employee accused of misconduct thorough information about the complaint.
The staffer must be given time to consider and respond, and the boss can only make a decision once that response has been received.
Instant dismissal is usually only justified if serious misconduct is the conclusion, says Scott-Howman - this generally means something which seriously breaches trust and confidence, and is sometimes defined precisely in employee contracts or company policy.
2: Read your employer's rules and policy. Companies are foolish if they do not follow these precisely.
3: Listen closely in your appraisals. Effective disciplinarians will clearly warn you to improve in an appraisal and then record this in writing. "Most trouble for employers in appraisals comes from one word - satisfactory," says David Whincup, employment specialist at British solicitor Hammond Suddards Edge.
"In the dictionary, satisfactory means suitable or acceptable. But actually satisfactory, when it is spoken, means unsatisfactory."
"And average means below average. But linguistic niceties like these will not be picked up on by an [employment] tribunal."
4: Watch out if your boss drops you a hint, by, say, encouraging you to smile more often. Friendly behaviour could be deemed part of your duties if you have to deal with people. Could a company legitimately discipline or dismiss a grumpy, non-smiling receptionist?
"Several months ago," says Scott-Howman, "a job centre in England was roundly criticised for posting a job description for a "friendly catering manager".
"Apparently, the view was reached that this advertisement discriminated against people who were not friendly!"
"My view is that a New Zealand employer would be hard-pressed to justify a dismissal of, for example, a receptionist for not being "friendly".
"I think that it would be far more likely that grounds for a performance improvement would be phrased differently - such as a need to improve appearance and demeanour to the required professional standard - and that such improvement would be measured."
5: Remember that you are able to bring a union representative or other companion into a disciplinary or grievance hearing.
But make sure that the rep knows the business, warns Hammond Suddards: an employment hearing might give you less sympathy if your rep forgot to raise important issues at the time.
6: Understand that thousands of employers mishandle disciplinary proceedings. Common errors include letting a witness to an incident chair the resultant hearing. Another big failing is to prejudice a disciplinary hearing - and to say as much in writing.
"Reinstatement to a job is the primary remedy provided by the Employment Relations Act," says Scott-Howman, "as an ultimate conclusion to a grievance - but also possibly as an interim step while proceedings are ongoing."
Alternatively, a claim for unjustified dismissal may result in a significant award of damages in favour of an aggrieved employee."
"In my view, an employer would generally be prudent to record its decision in writing - probably in a letter to the employee."
7: Respond as positively as possible if you do want to keep your job. Although some managers may be bent on getting rid of a particular employee, others will be more than prepared to help someone who repents and reforms.