third baby?

we've been really lucky with Jake and Taine. Up until this last week they haveboth always had a parent home during the day - Jake had Lew during the day, then me at night from birth up until one. Taine had me full time until January this year. This was moredue to luck than anything else and our circumstances.
Now Lew has a daytime job as do i and am recosidering our original "three baby" plan
If we have a third baby, it will probably go to daycare after the 14 weeks....full time. i love the thought of another baby, but is it kinda selfish, planning a child, only to send her/him to daycare immediately (not to diss others that have done this - different people, differnt circumstances) ????Nowwe plan to buy a house - possibly Jan 2010 we will be organised, so I would imagine that coping on just one wage willbe near impossible so going back to work will not be a "luxury" thing, but a "necessary" thing.

so anyway, give MY circumstances, where I have two wonderful boys laready, do YOU think having a third would be selfish, given that it would go to full-time daycare at aboput 3 months of age???

ETA: we would be looking to TTC possibly this time next year.

Edited by lizzle

Gah, do it. I read somewhere that you don't miss the children you do have, you mourn the ones you didn't have. Also, with you teaching, the hours are a bit more flexi, yes? school hols and stuff you would be there some of the time? Teachers don't work 7 am to 7pm every day do they? Just asking, not assuming anything.

i think you have to look at the big picture, not just the fact it may have to go in daycare... that aspect of its upbringing is only a small percentage really...

but then again, 2 boys are a pretty cool family!!!

ask yourself why you want a third.......would you be happy with the 2 boys or will you be forever wondering the 'what ifs' and feel that something is missing

i say go for it, but that's because i want a #3 and DH doesn't, so i'm just living through you

Go for it! HEHE
I have been lucky to be a stay at home mum although it has been a struggle financially sometimes, but I now have a great job at night which I will prob go back to once this one is born and about 4 months old, and dh finally has a great paying job has always been on min wage thank god for WWF.
My sister in law is a teacher and both their boys were in Daycare from 3 months and they are great kids. Really only you can decide together and you are not being selfish if you have to put it in Daycare.

LOL @ the dog crap

It's always so tricky to "advise" in this kind of situation because like you say, everyone is so different with different circumstances. But if it was me, I think I'd probably look at the house idea first and basically work like crazy between us (DH and me) for this next year towards that goal, maybe a little longer if that's what it would take. I think I'd be ok (in your shoes) with daycare at 14wks but I'd want to get as much savings/own a house/income/budgetting under my belt so that I could have the option of working part-time.

Maybe it's because I'm quite "motherly" already. But because you are not sure now, before having a baby, I suspect it will be even harder for you to "let go" of your baby at 14wks for full-time work and you'd want to have that option available if at all possible.

If that is what you really want then go for it I say.....Putting baby in day care is not a big deal. Z went to day care at 1 because I was lucky that my Aunty wasnt working and she looked after her. this bub will go to day care at 6 months and I am not to worried about it at all. If I could afford it I would stay home longer but we cant.....

I guess you have to do the positive negative thing with this....Baby #3 or house in 2010. And if it means you buy the house at 2011 then why not have a 3rd?

DH wants number 3 but I never did...but now I am thinking..should I try for a 3rd (may be a boy??!!)

Ummm except for the ethnicity?

I;ll just tell Lewis that sometimes, I need variety