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    Posted: 06 May 2006 at 9:04am
Qantas Airlines----

It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely for their jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots

(Marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance Engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. .

------------------------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.


P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)

S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.


And The Best One For Last!!


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget
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jack_&_charli View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jack_&_charli Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:07am
hehehehehehe!!! love it!

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote aimeejoy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:09am
Aimee

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jax View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote jax Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:31am
HAHAHAHA Oh GOD I almost PMSL too !! Hahahaha hubby thinks I'm insane (laughing like a lunatic here), and is now ordering me to get off the computer LOL
Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater



Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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MILF View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote MILF Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:47am
haha my hubby was just going "what? whats wrong" when i was reading that, as i was giggling to much.... very funny...
Lyla - mum to

Xanthe - my big 4 year old
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Paws Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 2:07pm
I've seen that one before but it had a different airline substituted for Qantas....so funny!!!!

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Sarah Beth View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Sarah Beth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 3:26pm
me too paws, but still made me laugh!
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james View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote james Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 May 2006 at 5:32pm
pml that is so funny
<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote daikini Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 May 2006 at 8:25am
I've seen that before too... but I'm still crying with laughter!
Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys
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