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Topic: This made me PML this morning!! Posted: 06 May 2006 at 9:04am |
Qantas Airlines----
It takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one: a reassurance for those of us who fly routinely for their jobs.
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet", which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' Pilots
(Marked with a P) and the Solutions Recorded (marked with an S) By Maintenance Engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. .
------------------------------------------------------------
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Auto pilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And The Best One For Last!!
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
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jack_&_charli
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:07am |
hehehehehehe!!! love it!
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aimeejoy
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:09am |
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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jax
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:31am |
HAHAHAHA Oh GOD I almost PMSL too !! Hahahaha hubby thinks I'm insane (laughing like a lunatic here), and is now ordering me to get off the computer LOL
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Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~
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MILF
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:47am |
haha my hubby was just going "what? whats wrong" when i was reading that, as i was giggling to much.... very funny...
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Lyla - mum to
Xanthe -  my big 4 year old
and
Jordis -  1 year old
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Paws
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 2:07pm |
I've seen that one before but it had a different airline substituted for Qantas....so funny!!!!
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Sarah Beth
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 3:26pm |
me too paws, but still made me laugh!
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james
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Posted: 06 May 2006 at 5:32pm |
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<a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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daikini
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Posted: 07 May 2006 at 8:25am |
I've seen that before too... but I'm still crying with laughter!
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Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys
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