tell older child about baby

at what point in your pregnancy did you tell your older child/ren they were going to have a brother or sister. and how old were/are they

Megan is 16 months so Im not sure how much she will actually understand.

Yeah I was wondering too. I figure I might drop it into conversation when I start to show a bit more and I'll be getting a couple of books about being a big sister and new babies. But I won't really be talking to her about it until a month or so out I reckon.

Basically on and off the whole time. Kryssi is 26mos now so would have been around 16mos when I got pg with Kaela. She has been saying "baby in mummy's tummy" for quite a while now. Even when I went into labour I still didn't think she got it but she has adjusted quite well.

I think we told Jack when I was about 12wks or so but he doesn't really understand (he is 23mths now). He will sometimes lift my top and poke at my tummy and then says goodbye to baby and puts my top down. But in reality I don't think he understands. He won't until baby arrives I don't think

We told Alexandria when she had to come to the amnio scan with us - which was not when we wanted to. As we had lost a baby at 16 weeks prior to this pregnancy we didn't want to tell her only to have something go wrong again. We were going to wait until the okay from the 20 week scan for 2 reason. The one I just said but also because to children time is hard for them to understand. DD is nearly 7 and it's still a long time for her to wait from when she was told.

A friend was having a baby and had a 4 year old. They waited until after the 3 months mark but even then it was still such a long time that their daughter was so over the pregnancy by the time the baby was born.

With the age of your child I would wait until you are showing a reasonable amount and then just talk about it in everyday conversation.

We Told our DS #1 (2 1/2yrs at the time) about our 2nd just before 20wk scan and then took him so he could find out if he was having a brother or sister. He talked to bubs and kissed my tummy every morn & night. Really understood. He seemed to have gained a strong bond even before bubs was born - he was there for the birth also (not planned but bubs came fairly quickly at home) It actually did him no harm whatsoever in fact I think it was good. (Not planning on any of them being there again tho )

We have only just told our 19mth old like a week or so ago he points to my tummy and says babee and gives it a little kiss sometimes but To be honest i don't think he really understands at all! We told DS1 at about the 20wk time again but I am just aware that days seem like forever to children sometimes let alone mths/weeks.

I think you just have to do what feels right for you. You will know if you should restrain for a bit longer or not, or if its the right time to start including baby in your everyday conversation with your other child/children!! All the best with telling them and with Bubs

just thought I'd add this in from awhile ago :) http://ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23280&KW=jjands

I never really told Jack we just kept refering to baby and that baby was coming and stuff. He was 17 months was Caprece was born and I honestly don't think he had any idea but got over it pretty quickly.

I have been wondering about this - DD is 2 1/2 and very verbal. She has several friends at preschool who have just had siblings and a couple of the preschool teachers were pregant last term so I think she'll get it. I'm worried she won't understand the time frame though - there's still months to go and I'm only just starting to show. Plus I've had a few problems so there is still a reasonable risk of either losing the baby or a very pre-term birth. I don't know how she'd understand losing the baby - has anyone else had to explain that? At the moment we have just told her that Mummy has a sore tummy and that's why I had to go to hospital and that's why I can't carry her around anymore.

I have skimmed the answers, so apologies if I am repeating something else.

I have not personally had to do this, but while I was a nanny the parents fell pregnant again. They decided to wait until the mum was showing quite a bit as 8 months is a really long time to a little one and they didnt want the excitement of having a new baby brother or sister to subside... It was a bit more tangible then too.