Grief and pregnancy.

Didnt want to read and run, so just want to say im so sorry for your loss and i hope things get easier on you.

Thanks ladies. I know there isn't much people can say to make it better, but its always nice to have support in any way shape or form!

My husband has been a wonderful support person, and I have seen a counsellor- she is happy with how I am dealing with the grief etc- but I still have to go through to processes to get out the other side, and thats the stressful part.

I think I am actually through the worst of the stress- now that he is dead and the funeral is over its almost a bit of a relief, because the last stages of the cancer were pretty horrible.

I like the idea that my dad might show up again in our child- or maybe not, my dad was a bit of a handful!

Thanks Flissty, I will check it out, it should still have some good tips.

In some way, our baby is whats keeping us all going, especially my mum. She is devastated that she has lost dad, but she is so excited about being a grandmother, so thats one good thing for all of us.

Well it is kind of spooky that ten years ago, he took out a term deposit in my name that matures around the time I am going to go on maternity leave.

So in that respect he will be looking out for our baby as we will still have a good income while I am off, which is a relief as our mortgage won't pay itself!

I'm really sorry to hear about the death of your Dad. I haven't been through anything like this while pregnant, but did lose my Mum a few years back and do know the feeling of loss you can have, especially while going through important events where they would be very involved if they were still here.
I just wanted to give you a big , and say that I'm 100% sure that my Mum is popping in to check on my DD from time to time and I'm sure your Dad will do the same for your little one

I'm really sorry for your loss..haven't lost either parent myself, but I'm sure your baby will be fine and your dad will be watching over you all. Take care.

im real sorry for what you are going through and thought id briefly fill you in on our family situation as it was similar. this is more about my sister than me but will hopefully still help.

mum got diagnosed with cancer within a couple of months of her mother dying of it. they found it too late so when they went into operate they closed her back up again and said she would have 4-8 weeks left because it was such a viscious form of cancer. we were a reall really close family so this was devistating to us, my mum was 19 when she had my sis but 30 when she had me so those two were like best friends cos mum refused to grow up and she was was more fun than motherly. anyway she ended up living for 9 months total in which time my sister had her baby. we have a few photos of mum and bubs together but she was in the hospice at this stage and a bit to spaced to realise but she held on long enough to see the baby which was a huge effort. anyway her sisters pretty much stole mum away from us when she was sick, they moved her in with them to look after her which is what mum wanted but then totally shut us out. when we called to see how she was we got told she was asleep and couldnt come over and they made our lives really really difficult. when mum finally died they said all this really horrible stuff about how we never came to visit and didnt care about mum at all blah blah blah. my sister coped really badly right through her pregnancy and still struggles because her and mum were so close but her youngest is 2 now and absolutley fine and we were both really put through the wringer. mum only met my DH once and she was quite spaced then as well. we had only been together 3 months at the time but knew we would get married so really wanted mum to meet him while she could. she died before the engagement was official and the wedding plans started so she never knew i got married and am now having a baby which i really struggle with but i know she'll be watching somehow so i just try and deal with it as best i can and make sure my babies will know who there nana was a what a kick arse mum she was to us. i didnt mean to write such a long post but i just wanted to reassure you that no matter what you go through and how hard it is bubs is pretty resilient and will be absolutely fine, and as much as its hard to move on in your life when someone so imprtant is missing they are still always there somehow

Hugs I am so sorry for whats happened.
There is nothing I can say that will make you feel even a tiny bit better during this awful time.

I'm sure bubs is totally fine - but make sure you take time to look after yourself as well.

I can't really give any advice on the pregnancy side of things, but just wanted to say my thoughts are with you. I lost my dad two years ago and I know how horrible it is. The only thing I would say is to grieve etc. Bottling up your feelings trying to be strong will only mean a meltdown later, and that's not going to be good. Take each day as it comes and make time for yourself. And put yourself and your baby first. If that means having to stay home from work longer or just chilling out then do so. I'm sure your dad would want you to be looking out for you and that bubs!