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BaAsKa
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Topic: Am i over reacting??? Posted: 04 May 2009 at 4:23pm |
I have just been furiously vacumming my house trying to let off steam to see if i felt differently when calmed down but nop im still annoyed!!!  ....dont know if its just the preggy hormones making it seem worse so here i am asking you all...
I went to pick Bay up from school this arvo and found him wondering around the entrance by himself!!!!!  i said "son what are you doing!? why arnt you in class!!??" he said "they in drama and theres people in there i dont know and im scared" (he gets freaked out in a crowd with unknowns) so i marched him back to the drama room which was on the other side of the school and took him inside. The teacher was very blarzay about it all and said that she had sent him outside to think about what he had done (not wanting to join in)...
im unsure about whether im angry over the sub teacher sending him out over that seen as it is was of Bays "things" he freaks out about (with his aspergers)...im unsure bcos i dont want to go blaming behavioural things on the aspergers???....
The thing that angers me is that she sent him outside and then didnt check on him therefore leaving him to wonder the school!! near the gate where the traffic is!!!!! he could quite easily have left the grounds and come home!!!!!
Am i over reacting!???
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kebakat
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 4:26pm |
I don't think so, I'd be mightly pissed off too. I think that's really poor to put a kid of his age outside and left to his own devices and I'd be inclined to speak to the school about that. That's not on as like you said, he could have just wondered onto the road and no one would have been any the wiser.
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emz
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 4:27pm |
Um.. one word... NO!!!
For starters, you DO NOT send 5 year olds out of class as they don't comprehend what that means. If it's for a time out thing, it should be in the class where the teacher can safely keep an eye on the child.
Secondly, some kids at 5 just don't want to participate. The teacher shouldn't be punishing him for it, just moving on and trying to get him to join in by showing him how much fun it is.
Thirdly, I would make a complaint to the school about your son being allowed to roam around and potentially get into danger. He's 5 for gods sake! That is just not on. Any person with half a brain knows not to leave a child that young, and I'm assuming new(ish) to school, outside without supervision.
So yes I would be fuming too!!
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Snappy
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 4:30pm |
I would be annoyed. Whats wrong with the corner of the room?
I was fuming mad with Janaya's teacher a while back, Janaya had asked to go toilet but the teacher wouldnt let her, so she pooed her pants  I asked the teacher what was going on and she said "Oh all the kids say they need to go toilet when they dont" Grrr....
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fire_engine
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 4:44pm |
Not over-reacting at all. Regardless of the Aspergers thing (which I think should be taken into account by the teacher as it is completely relevant to what happened) what happened is really unsafe and inappropriate. I'd definitely be giving the school a call
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arohanui
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 4:54pm |
Definitely not over-reacting... that's not on. Do talk to the school about it.
Also an idea, seeing as the problem was with a reliever - could you do a little profile thing for Bay for his teacher to keep in their plan for relievers to read? With a photo of him and could say something like "Hi my name is Bayley. I have aspergers, which means I see things differently to other kids. I get scared of strange people and loud noises, and sometimes need some quiet time out in the class room. I take things you say literally and sometimes find it hard to work with other kids (or whatever things are important for teachers to know about him).
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Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and...
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Bizzy
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 5:12pm |
go straight to the principal. at that age they should be encouraging them to join in not punishing them if hey dont want to... it would be intimidating to any kid ... he should have been kept in her sight.
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my2angels
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 5:21pm |
I would be furious. You do not send a 5 yr old out of the classroom, thats just crazy. You should complain.
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katie1
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 6:17pm |
I am a teacher and also think you should DEFINITELY talk to the school about it. It is really important to make sure they have a system in place so that relievers are aware that Bay finds those situations hard (it isn't appropriate to deal with him in the way the teacher did) I can understand that she was a reliever and didn't know but the school needs to be aware of what happened. I really love Arohanui s idea. I was going to say something similar or also that the teacher who organises the relievers for the school advises any reliever that there are certain things that he finds difficult. It wouldn't need to be a big deal at all but would probably make all the difference to Bailey having a good day in a new situation.
You are not over reacting and I am sure the principal would be completely understanding - as they should be.
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BaAsKa
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 6:47pm |
well im glad im not over reacting!! thanks heaps ladies!!!
I think i will go straight to the vice principal shes lovely and understanding!! the reason why i dont want to go to his normal teacher is bcos when i told her he had aspergers when he first started school her reply was "oh no i dont think so! hes just like every other kid, he just have a few behavioural problems"  well i almost burst into tears right in front of her!!!!!
then they had a problem with him in assembly a few times where he would hide in a corner with his hood over his face!!! so i said "well i know i dont know too much about his aspergers yet but that is one of his things as part of it" their reply "well you cant blame everything on that now can you!"...WTF that was one of the only things i had said to them!!!....
so im really worried they think im blaming everything on that!!
the thing that kept bugging me about him wondering off was that as much as i love that boy - sometimes he gets lost finding his way to his room!! (seriously!!! sometimes he goes into a world of his own and ends up in another room!  ) so the thought of him trying to make his way home just scares the crap out of me!!!
Liz i really like that idea!!! im going to do it!
Kylie that is shocking about Janayas teacher!!!!  that mustv been humiliating for her!!!
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lovingmummyhood
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 6:53pm |
 you are definitely NOT over reacting! I'm with everyone else on this. Love Liz's idea
Good luck with the school tomorrow.
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caitlynsmygirl
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 7:10pm |
I would be absolutely fuming Amber, it reminds me of when my sister was at a mainstream primary school , honestly it was shocking , she has developmental delay , autism and aspbergers,she was basically ignored in the classroom , she would cry every morning when I walked her to her class , and beg me to take me home (it was heartbreaking ) the kids made fun of her ,yet nothing was done, and for standard four camp either my parents had to go and sleep in another cabin , or she wasnt allowed to come because other parents complained (she wasn't bloody contagious !)
my mum, gran and aunt were constantly having arguments with the principal
Now C is at the same school and its much , much better (and a new principal too ) and aspergers or not , the kids are not allowed out of the teachers sight, if a parent is late the teacher remains in the classroom with the child , they aren't allowed onto the playground or anything til the parent has come and let them know they are there
Teachers, working with children , should remember how embarrassing it is for kids, even just to say they don't want to take part, or that they need to go to the toilet, kids at that age are going through an awkward stage of wanting to make and keep friends, and don't like bringing attention to themselves .
When C was 4 she did ballet, and was really nervous about her first concert, when we got there her teacher started telling her off for taking her costume home, so I stopped the teacher gave her my "look " and said
"she is nervous enough as it is , you do not need to go on at her , I don't care how stressed you are, she is 4 , if she took the costume home its because she thought she could "
she shutup after that ....
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fire_engine
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 7:16pm |
Kelly, are you for hire when we need someone to be assertive and can't face it ourselves
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BaAsKa
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 7:23pm |
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MrsMojo
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 7:52pm |
Amber that's awful. I would be absolutely fuming too. The teacher was being neglectful IMO and it definitely needs to be addressed as does the attitude towards his aspergers but putting that aside, even if he didn't have aspergers, a 5yo should not be sent outside a classroom where they're unsupervised.
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SMoody
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 8:23pm |
I wouldnt even bring the Aspergers up while talking to them about this paticular situation. NO 5 year old should have been sent out without someone watching that child. In that case they could have either tried to involve him in it, and if he really didnt wanted to let him sit and watch and if he was totally freaking out had an adult deal with him on a one to one situation until it was better or called you in.
I would have been fuming. Seriously heads would have rolled. At 5 they have no idea what so ever about stuff like this.
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Glow
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 8:28pm |
Thats just not on! I wouldnt be happy about that. Def say something to someone. Solitary confinment or exclusion, for any child is neglectful... almost abusive
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AandCsmum
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 8:30pm |
Definitely not over reacting....imagine if a stranger had been walking past & the type of one to snatch a child...no one would have heard him cry out!
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Kel
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12
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KiwiL
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 8:36pm |
Hey Amber, you should ask the principal/vice if they have a book called "Aspergers Syndrome: What Teachers Need To Know". It was provided to every school in NZ several years ago by the Cloud 9 Children's Foundation. There should be a copy, and if not I can give you information on how to get one for Bay's teacher.
It is really easy to read and for teachers to get the basics of dealing with Aspergers children (small boast: my DH wrote the book).
The things the teacher has said to you is inexcusable, and showing that she has no idea of the significance of the syndrome. It's a must that she reads this book, even if she doesn't read any other. It would only take her an evening.
This is what the book covers:
1) Introduction
2) So what is Asperger's Syndrome?
3) What signs might a child express?
General
Academic
Social
4) What are some strategies for the classroom?
Organisation
Class work
Sensory sensitivity
Anxiety and tempers
5) Can I help the child with their social skills?
6) How can I help them in the playground?
7) What should happen before the child changes class or school?
8) Should I make the child do homework?
9) How can the child be assisted with study?
10) What should the teacher aide be focusing on?
11) Who else in the school needs to know?
12) Am I qualified to teach this child?
13) I want to know more. Where should I start?
Books and papers
Websites
Edited by kiwilaurie
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BaAsKa
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Posted: 04 May 2009 at 8:51pm |
oh kiwilaurie i will definately ask them if they got that book if not will definately have to get one for them!!  and i am now REALLY interested in reading the book myself!!!!!
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