The Sex and being sad

I think someone has posted on here about this before, so sorry if this is a repeat. But I just wanted to find out if anyone else on here has mourned or felt sad when they found out the baby was the opposite sex of what they were hoping for?

 

I know I will be a little down if I'm having a boy cause I desperately want a girl, but I feel guilty about feeling sad about this. My scan is still a few weeks away so wondered if anyone had any input on this.

 

P.S, please don't think me ungrateful. I will love a boy just as much as I would love a girl. I'd just prefer a girl.

I think it's natural is have a preference, and then think you'll be disappointed if it's not what you wanted.

 

When pg with Rico (#1) I very much wanted a girl.  And I too worried so much about how I'd feel if it were a boy.  When I saw my MW and heard the HB for the first time she said to me she thought it was a boy.  Well...... my heart leaped for joy!!!  I felt soo excited!  And I was soo glad to feel that!  From then on I started to imagine what he'd look like, and when he was born (we didn't find out the sex at 20 weeks) there was no disappointment whatsoever (think I would've felt disappointed if it was a girl).

 

And if you do end up having a boy, you may feel disappointed, but as soon as you hold him in your arms you'll forget all about how you wanted a girl!

I think its natural to have you heart set on one or the other and then to be told its the other ... I never found out with #1 but so wanted a girl.. when I had him do you know someone had to ask me what it was and when I discovered he was a boy i was so happy - although could of been the drugs LOL nah really once you have that baby it doesn'tmatter.

OT a bit Anouska what was the heartrate when she said Rico was a boy? Just curious

Yep i know what you mean, i really throught my DD was a boy from about 10weeks rite up unti my scan at 20 ish weeks, i was so dissappointed but i got over that within days and i was so excitied to be having a baby!! I throught it was a boy so much that i almost bought boys clothes.........

Good luck with your scan, and dont worry what ever the sex is you will love it with all your heart.

Someone told me once that no matter which flavour the baby ends up being you still have a period of being sad about not getting the other. I guess you dream for 20+ weeks about what your baby is going to be like and when you find out what they actually are part of that dream is gone.
I was sort of hoping for a boy this time around, but was also hoping for a girl. I had the moment of sadness when I realised I wasn't going to have 2 little girls - but it was soon replaced by excitement of having a little man
I guess I am just trying to say not to worry too much about it - you will love whichever you get

Luckily for us we have one of each and are not bothered either way.

It would be better logistically if it was a boy as DS is only 8 and would be better sharing a room than DD11. Also my brother has a son who is 1 in November so hand me downs would be constant.

There is a small part of me that wants another chance to get my ballerina girl as DD is such a tomboy sports nut but I really am happy either way.

DH and I both thought we really wanted a boy and I was so worried that DH esp would not take the news well if we were having a girl....

BUT when the sonographer said those magic words, "it's a girl"...it just felt 'right', even though I would have loved to have a boy.

I'm not sure how DH feels now, if he's upset he hides it well, and it is soooo good being able to talk about 'her' and the wee 'girl' and our 'daughter' - makes it heaps more real.

If you do feel sad, that OK, as Mum2Sam said, you do have 2 dreams for the first 20 weeks - one a girl and one a boy and whe you know for sure what you're having half of that 'dream' is gone. I think sadness and grief are good emotions and as long as you progress through them and don't dwell in the sad places for too long then you'll come the other side a better person.

Good luck for your scan!

Up until the anatomy scan I was convinced it was a boy.. Even went shopping for boy clothes (I believed my mothers instinct had already kicked in)
But.. shes a she and to tell you the truth I was ecstatic when I found out. From that moment on my dreaming about my baby changed to dreaming about my little girl.

DH couldn't come to the scan so I rang him up as I left the hospital - his reaction - ''Oh really??? How could you do this to me!''
But... he got over it pretty quickly and she now has him wrapped firmly around her little finger!

If there is any dissapointment it will subside and once your babe is here you'll wonder how he/she could have possibly been the opposite sex

Edited due to (once again) poor grammar

Edited by anna_bana

Yep I felt sad both times, my heart sank when I heard "Its a boy!" Esp for the second time as I was sure Kalz was to going to be a girl LOL I adapted quickly & now couldnt imgaine not having 2 boys
Makes me think of that saying
A son- till he finds a wife
A daughter for life!

I really wanted a girl for my first and I was worried that I was having a boy after my daughter was born I felt relieved I do think that If I did have a boy I would have found it harder to bond with him.

I am hoping for another girl this time however the desire to have a girl this time is not as strong.