Am I just being paranoid?

As most of you know, Sam's dad isn't the nicest man in the world and since he has been in Australia, it's been a lot better.

Although..

He ALWAYS wants photos of Sam and has a huge tantrum at me if I don't send them every single week.

He also always complains that the photos aren't good enough, and then picks them apart asking who's leg/car/handbag/hand is in the photo.

I usually just send them in hotmail, using the attach photo function which has now disappeared for some reason. Anyway

Yesterday he sent an e-mail asking me nicely if he could have the fullsize files for some of those small hotmail ones I had sent.

Very quickly I noticed that the photos he wanted were a mixture of photos of Sam being quite adventurous or crying or probably doing something that maybe he shouldn't but two year olds do anyway, like climbing a ladder (I was right there) playing in the garage where there is an old fridge behind him that is open, putting his head in the dryer and various other ones of him crying or looking upset.

WHY does he want these photos? I didn't send all of these in the same bunch, they were spread out and probably seemed inoffensive to me at the time, but he wants the full size file of all of them and some of them a really insane person could construe as me being neglectful even though I am certainly not that.

What is he playing at?    

Lately he has been saying things like

"I want you to put Sam on the waiting list for kindergarten" (he is just turned two ffs)

"I want you to get all the things signed off in his wellchild book for his immunisations (I forgot to take the book with me for his last one)

"When was the last time Sam had a checkup at the doctor?"

"I am going to come back to NZ and buy a nice house near a good school"

'If you and your new partner are going to start a new life together and have kids then I want my boy back"

Now, as some of you know, my ex is completely insane and I can make huge comparisons between him and Clayton Weatherston.   He has at the very least an antisocial personality disorder and is probably a sociopath. I've done a lot of research and he fits the bill right to the letter!

I want to get some legal aid ASAP and my step-sister who has been through this process already has put me on to hers.

I just don't know at any given time where he is on a scale of 'being ok with things' and 'going completely mental'.

I just don't know what he is playing at with the photo thing, it's really weird.

I didn't send them obviously, I said I cleaned up my PC and deleted a whole lot and given that they were pretty dumb photos, most of them he was crying and not looking at the camera, I deleted them.

Sorry for the rant.

I just wish he would GO AWAY, and he never will.

Thank you Bex! It's the scariest thought in the world, the ifs and whats if someone threatens to take your child. And while he is his dad, I know if Sam grew up around him, he would turn out to be just like him and treat people horribly and I don't want that for him at all, as if I was his parents I would be horribly ashamed.

I know in my heart he could never get custody but in his mind I think he thinks he could by making a case about me being a bad mum!

AWWW Renee, I really feel for you hun!!! sounds absolutely awfull.... i do remember you talking about him a while back and i dont think you had told him about being preg at that stage cos of how he would react...........

My only advice is to only give him photos of sam smiling and happy and doing "safe" things like sitting on the couch etc.....keep them as simple and boring as poss cos yeah it does sound like hes trying to build a case........

I wish for yours and Sams sake he would get a life and move on, but if he does have mental issues like you think then its probably all he thinks about on a daily basis........

I know its hard but most of the time things are said as idyl threats although i dont know him at all so dont know if he follows through with anything.........but a good custody order where he only contacts you at set times or you use a third person to do any contacting and get someone to back you like a doc saying the stress of it all is affecting your health and babies etc and you need to limit the amount of stress he puts you under so should only contact you a certain way.........i dont know much about the system and how it works etc, I havent had to go through this sort of thing and dont wish it even on my worse enemy as sometimes theres just no easy solution and you end up getting so stressed it can affect your current relationship

Good luck hun.....!! I hope he eventually gets a life and moves on

It does seem like a horrible position to be in.

I don't remember reading other threads about him so I don't really know the history, it does seem he wants to be overprotective and still be a part of his life no matter what, but what he is doing is going a little over the top.

I agree to send him only good photos and keep doing your legal aid research just incase.

I hope it all works out for you.

chicky, I would so be the same - always thinking and worrying about the worst because so many times he has shown he WILL do the worst thing possible    I hope you get some good legal advice soon. Take care