2 ’dads’ for Fathers Day?????

OK what happens when there a sperm donor dad and a 'real' dad?? I know Jakes bio dad will probably be hoping for something little even though hes not a dad to Jake except for bday/xmas pressies but I would hate to make DP feel any less special coz hes Jakes dad in every way that counts.
The ex is still on the scene in the sense that he sees Jake at mum and dads when they're there at the same time and hes still considered 'part of the family' but DP is Jakes dad in every way except biologically (even the ex recognises that and refers to him as Jakes dad).
HELP!

Yeah last year he brought me a big bunch of flowers but me and DP weren't living together then. I don't want to hurt his feelings by not acknowledging him (I know we're over and for good reason but we were together for almost 6 years and I still care about him and I know he really loves Jake) but I'm worried that DP will be hurt if I do something too personal I'm probably being abit silly but its the first time I've been in this situation and the two guys circle each other IYKWIM? They don't fight or anything they actually pretend the other doesn't exist but kinda keep an eye on the other at the same time. I hate confrontation and upset and I have a little knot in my stomach...

ETA LOL oops we weren't together for as long as I orginally put silly me!

Edited by Babe

Maybe a storebrought card for the ex with Jakes handprint inside - though would it be weird because we use his name with Jake he doesn't call him dad or anything... OMG I'm totally winding myself up lol note to self: take a chill pill!
Then a handmade card from Jake and baby to Daddy with uhm a special dinner and a new tool or something??
I'm making a big deal out of this when it doesn't need to be aren't I?! Its been a really complicated situation with lots of ups and downs and now we've finally FINALLY all found a balanced way of dealing with it all but I'd forgotten all about Fathers Day and now I'm totally panicking (obviously lol) that if I don't get this right things will get messy again :minifoot-stompingscreamingtantrum: I don't like messy!!!!
I'm still at the 'any chance of trouble and I freeze up' stage so thankyou for bearing with me and giving me some ideas (and not pointing out that I'm being ridiculous )!

Edited by Babe

Bizzy, I agree, our kids do cards for us & thats it. Oh & I may get a sleep in on mothers day where as DH always gets a sleep in, lol.

It is not really a big deal in our house, kind of glad don't have money to waste of stuff not needed.

I obviously wasn't very clear in my previous posts (they def seem a little rambly lol) - it doesn't matter how old Jake is or how aware he is of who is who, theres alot of high feelings regarding Jake and who is important and who belongs and who has what role The whole dad thing is a sensitive issue for both of them and its been very important for each of them to feel acknowledged in the last year. This is deeper for both DP and BF(bio father) than just Fathers Day. Hence my minor panic. Last year Mothers Day kinda turned into this competition really to see who could get me the best Mothers Day present (Valentines Day too - gifts from Jake to me ) so I want to hit a nice lowkey, balanced note to stay on track with the nice, peaceful, less-competitive compromise we've hit. Any other suggestions along those lines would be appreciated bearing in mind this has very little to do with Jake.

JD thanks for sharing your situation. I hope your daughter realises how super-lucky she is to have your DH when she gets abit older

I think you hit the nail on the head with the competitive issue. So taking that into account & that the day is to thank the fathers for all they do....then I would make it a special present not go over board with money but something like a photo in a frame, a cup with photos on it, I did snapfish mugs for presents and they turned out fantastic.

So BF & DP both get something about the child & DP gets a sleep in or breakfast in bed also.

i would still get neither of them anything... if they are having a "competition" then staying away from it might be best... and like someone else said just brekkie in bed or a nice dinner for other guy!

I used to give my dad just a card, to recognise him... and my stepdad (REAL Dad) gets a card and a little pressie (usually mint chocolate) and breakfast or something made.

My daughter has two great , awesome dads , on fathers day I give them each a framed picture she has done , or a photo of her and she makes them both a card .

I give DH a lie in and breakfast in bed, cos I figure, I live with him , so he will hopefully do the same for me on mothers day .

Yep chelle can get quite stressful!! Unfortunately I get them both AND my mum who talks alot to my ex, 'sharing' how they feel or telling me why I should be doing it differently. I don't mind my DP talking to me but taking everyone into consideration can be a mission. I'm getting pretty good at picking what to ignore and when to cater to BF and mum and this is a catering situation! It doesn't help that the ex now has a GF who wants to play happy families with my son coz she'll absolutely put a bee in his bonnet if I don't acknowledge him.

Thankyou everyone but especially those who are in similar situations. Kelly I was hoping you'd post really good idea and not too personal giving BF a drawing of Jakes with a 'non-soppy' (thanks chelle) card. I'm going to use one of Jakes drawings to make a card for DP coz he keeps all that kinda stuff and a model car for him to build and of course a special breaky.
Hes really into Fathers/Mothers Day, its become really important to him since hes become Jakes dad and I know he's super-excited about whats going to happen for him so I think it'll be nice making abit of a big deal. He planned out a whole day for me for Mothers Day just doing special stuff.