What would you do/recommend?

I have a flatmate. She knows the flat rules about smoking, which are, no smoking inside.

Well, I discovered last month she had broken that rule and confronted her about it and to my surprise she admitted that yes, she in fact had on a few occasions smoked in her room. So I told her that, that was extremely disrespectful and how pissed off I am that she disregarded the rules, as she knows it's not allowed and she knows how I feel about people disrespecting the house rules. I did tell her, if it continues, I will kick her out. I pointed out, that, that will be the baby's room and that it is not fair to the baby's health once born or our health or my daughters health, smoking inside. She apologised and promised it would never happen again. I told her, don't even try it again, as I have a very strong sense of smell and I will know if she does it again.

Well, she's done it again, more then once. I know this because for 1, if I smell cigarette smoke, I check to see if anyone is outside, also, I have found several cigarette butts in her room, as well as in a bowl hiding under her bed, plus the room smells of cigarettes too.

She knew that she would have to move out also before the baby is born, though for some reason she thinks she has the right to dictate to us when she will be moving out. (She is a flatmate, we have signed no contract, she is not on the tenancy agreement, we are the head tenants and I have checked the law for flatmates and she has no rights)
She said to me the other day, " I'll stay as long as I can and will move out a week before your baby is due". I was like, um, no! You will need to move out at least a month before my baby is due. She said "well I want to wait til after the holidays until my relatives are all back, plus I need time to save for a mover".

Anyway, she is due to go up to Auckland for 2 wks at the end of next week and I am trying to work out when I should tell her to move. As I'm a nice person and I don't like to be heartless or harsh. Though I'm busy thinking, while she is here there's nothing to say she won't continue smoking inside. Which is obviously not cool with me.

What would you do?

Edited by escadachic

Yeah I'm not a smoker either and I did try to get a non-smoker in, but didn't manage to find a non-smoker. Plus I did specify in the flatmate wanted add, prefer non-smokers, but if you are a smoker, outside only.

You see now I have to change which room the baby will be in, as I don't want to risk any chance of cot death due to the room being tainted by cigarettes. So will have to put my daughter who is 6 in the room. But still I'm not cool with even her being in that room.

You see I'm worried if I kick the flatmate out before she goes to Auckland, well I mean give her notice that she needs to move out a.s.a.p. That she will not pay her rent while she is away, just to be a dick about things.

I am also worried she will intentially take her time in moving out, using the excuse that she needs to pay for a mover, so she needs to save up. Really, though, that is not our problem and her problems should not be made our problem.

hannibal wrote: Just a thought - maybe pay your 6 year old to be an out of control brat when the flatmate around - could be a way of driving her out ....

Yeah you see I couldn't make my daughter behave badly even if I paid her. Plus the flatmate is an ex-nanny, so can handle being around difficult kids.

Well yes I would be justified in doing that. As I just got the power bill today and in theory being the whether is warmer and heaters aren't being used, it should be getting cheaper. Guess how much?!....$272!!! The most it ever was before her moving in was $160. And the reading from last month was an actual reading, not an estimate. I looked at the graph for the months she has lived here and the power consumption has risen significantly. You would think, well there is 1 more person. But we had 4 adults living here at one point and the power bill never got above $160. She uses the washing machine over 3 times a week. Where as we use it once a week. She uses the dishwasher when it is not even full and she has the light on in her room during the day, instead of opening the curtain like most intelligent people would.

We pay heavenly power bills too, but then there are six of us and I am lazy so use the dryer a lot.

She says she needs to save money to move? Save her the problem - while she is in Auckland, put all her stuff out on the street. She'll find some way of getting it moved pretty quick smart unless she wants to lose it.

Oh and Willie smokes, I caught him smoking out the window a few weeks ago (his excuse was that it was cold - well give up then!) and I kicked his butt so hard he'd be scared to so much as think about doing it again.

Yeah you see I'm used to hardcore trying to save power. As I used to live in CHCH years ago when they did the whole save 10% thing. So I got very used to being efficient with power consumption.

I use the washing machine once a week, shower every few days, only boil the jug when it is needed, use the dishwasher when it is totally full, have lights off in any room I'm not in, turn things off(not leaving on standby mode), switch things off at the wall I am not using and have a gas heater.

Something a lot of people don't know is though you use cold wash, washing machines are big power suckers and reboiling the jug actually is a big power sucker.

I have actually had the power bill here as low as $75 with 2 adults and a child.

I'm just not looking forward to doing the kicking out part. She will probably get all upset and act sincerely remorseful.

But I can't take her sincerity seriously anymore. As she abused our trust by promising to never smoke inside again.

But seriously, did she not hear me when I told her, I will smell it and I will know if you do smoke in your room. Does she think I'm that naive really?! She must be stupid if she thinks I wouldn't know. She thinks she's clever by burning oil and incense to cover the smell. But you see only cigarette smoke and smell travels upstairs, not incense or oils.

Plus, the girl(she acts like a girl though she is 34), has a drinking problem! Anyone who drinks in their room alone twice a week and finishes off 2 12pks of 10% RTDS has got a problem! I've told her to sort her s**t out and get some help. I made some progress, now she just drinks for the hell of it and no longer drinks to make her troubles fade. Plus I told her to not be around my daughter if she has drunk anything. Which she obeys. But damn, every time she drinks, you hear her banging around at 1am+ in the morning and talking at full volume on the phone or yelling at her cat.

Yes I know I must kick her out. It's like having a badly behaved kid to look after seriously! It sucks when you almost have to treat an adult like a child.

It does suck having to kick a flatmate out - and sorry to say you may just have to take the hit on the lost rental income .

We had to kick out a flatmate a month before Lydia was born - he was $200 behind in his rent at the time (was paying pack over $1000 in arrears - we're too nice!). We gave him 7 days notice. We didn't give him more, because we knew as soon as he got notice, he wouldn't pay us any more money, which was the case.

Be strong - give her 1-2 weeks notice. Even if you don't have a flat-sharing agreement, put it in writing that you want her out by x time on x day. if she's not gone put her stuff out on the lawn!!! If any of our flatmates were refusing to leave, I'd be visiting the local police station to order tresspass notices.

Agreed with Lizzle - use the landlord at help get rid of her! Maybe the landlord came round, smelled the smoke, and was threatening to kick you all out or something.


Good luck!