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emz View Drop Down
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    Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:18am
When do the dramas end, or at least end up not being so huge?

It's probably not even that bad, but I haven't caught a break in a year now, and I'm sick of it. Don't know what the hell I did to deserve this all.

So first, Jack got sick. In hospital 3 times over the first 6 months of this year and it was all pretty hard on us. Well he seems to be fine now.

Then I got pg - we were both really excited but I got quite sick while in hospital with Jack on top of ms. Then DH had a complete breakdown and ended our marriage via a 2min phonecall from Oz and I lost heaps more weight, had to go on sleeping pills, couldn't eat, sleep, function at all and had to take a month off work.

DH and I patched things up (well we're still trying) but he's been away on and off for a grand total of 6 months this year so we stil have 3 of our 6 free counselling sessions, which we started in June, to go and the guy seems to not be helping us at all, so we've been trying to do it ourselves to no avail and we can't afford any more sessions with anyone else when the free ones run out.

Our cars have both broken down costing us over a thousand dollars that we didn't have, now my car needs 2 new tyres to get a warrant (which I'd put money aside for) and today when I was finally getting out of the house to get Ava's hand and foot cast done the battery's dead. I have a feeling the car wouldn't start anyway as I was on the fuel light for so long but couldn't afford any petrol until pay day

Ava's a terrible baby, she's got reflux and just screams all day long. She's on meds which seem to work for all of a few days before she turns feral again. Because I have no patience Jack cops the brunt of everything, so his behaviours turned terrible too. I have had a constant migraine for weeks now, and can't take my normal meds until my haemoglobin levels return to normal, but can't take the strong iron pills because they mess with my IBS.

I hate being a SAHM, it's so damn boring and repetitive, I do work part time but I hate the job. I've been applying for full time teaching positions since I was 37 weeks pg with Ava but clearly noone wants to hire me, so I would get out and work if I could.

Grr I'm just over everything. And to make matters worse my MIL is moving over to Chch, which was supposed to be a good thing, but she's found a house about 500m away from us.

Anyone want to trade? Because I'm well and truly ready to pack it all in
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SquishysMum View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote SquishysMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:24am
Oh Emz, I don't have any words for you but didn't want to read and run.

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lemongirl View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lemongirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:36am


Yup I know how your feel about the seemingly un-ending drama.

I had a miscarriage at 13 weeks and DP currently has family court proceedings underfoot with his ex which places a huge emotional and financial burden on our home. The daughter has major developmental issues which we've been slowly working through now that we've had a bit of increased contact with the child but it has been difficult and now the court looks to be cutting back DP's contact time. There have been numerous times where I've thought to myself 'why am I doing this?' I'm tired, stressed, putting on weight. And I suppose the answer is one awful day at a time.

Do you have any friends that could mind the kiddos so you could get a bit of time to yourself?

Have you talked to anyone? It sounds to me like you might be experiencing a bout of PND.
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my4beauties View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote my4beauties Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:38am

Oh hun, things have been really rough for sure!!  With money being tight, do you think visiting WINZ and seeing if you're eligable for anything from them, to help with that stress of things?

 

Any family around that can help with taking the kids for a while so you can have a breather?  Do you get along with MIL - so she can be of help when she moves so close to you?

 

I don't know how I'd cope if I didn't have my family around, so I take my hat off to you and anyone else that does it on their own!!

 

BIG hugs to you though, I wish there was more I could do to help.

My babies:

R (9),G (7), J (5)

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote sunnyhoney Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:49am
Big hugs Emz, feeling for you. Hope things get better soon.
Mum to:
Joy Emily 1.05am 27/09/07 7lb 3oz
Austin Paul 12.47pm 18/04/10 10lb 8oz
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BugTeeny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 11:52am
*hugs* Emma.
I don't have any words of wisdom, either.
But I'm thinking of you

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Snappy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Snappy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:13pm
Didn't want to read and run either...
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Twinkle1 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:15pm
Its times like these I wish I had a magic wand to fix things for people aye. All I can say is hang in there, know that no matter how bad things are, there is a light at the end of the tunnel - things will get better.

Agree, you should check out about PND. As we're TTC number one I can't offer any advice when it comes to family. From dealing with depression my whole life I can sort of see your point of view. Its one hell of an emotional roller coaster. And the worst part is seeing what you're doing, how you're thinking and not beiong able to stop yourself from doing it - its like watching yourself as if you were a spectator some days.

All I can say is take everything as it comes. Don't stress about things that are a month away, or even a week away. Just focus on today.

Biggest piece of advice my counsellor ever gave me was how to put things in focus. When you get wound up about a problem, stop and think, 'Will I care in a year? Will I care in a month? Will I even care in a week?'.

If you ever need someone to rant to we are listening. Don't bottle it all up. And if no-ones available to listen, write it down. Just the action of writing as if you're telling someone about it can lighten the load.

Hang in there and know that people are there for you.
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LittleBug View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LittleBug Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:16pm
wish I lived in Chch so I could come and help you out, after exams
Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kiwisj Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:23pm
Emz. Hang in there hun, we are all here to listen and lend a shoulder.

Are you able to choose another free counsellor? I think there are a few in Chch that you can see through the free sessions thing, so perhaps you could change?

[:>D<]
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HoneybunsMa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:33pm
Hang in there! I think 2009 was a sucky year for everyone! I know it was for me. Lets hope 2010 is better for all we're only 2mths away


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote NikkiB Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:50pm
Hope you see light at the end of the tunnel soon
A very lucky mummy to two gorgeous boys:
RB 3/10/2008
JB 29/12/2009
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote tishy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 12:56pm
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Lexidore Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 1:02pm


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ElfsMum Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 1:04pm
let me know if i can help in any way!

we had the counselling sessions too and i think it's dependant on who does them really and they kinda need to be not so spaced out(not that you can do anything about that) ..

big hugs to you.. you have had a very crappy year and hopefully things get better soon..again pm me if you need any help!!
Mum to two amazing boys!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote surfergirl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 1:38pm

Emz, I'm pretty sure you can change your counselling guy. If he works for a larger organisation (like Rel. Services) they'll just transfer you to someone else in the group. You do not need to give a reason.

Sorry things are feeling so crappy right now. Re the PND issue, it might pay to remember that it might not be PND, just 'run of the mill' depression - given all you're going through (minus the kids) you've got plenty of reasons to feel down.

I can't offer anything more really, other than to suggest, if you DH is not home soon, or available for the sessions you have remianing perhaps you'd do well to go along just by yourself...

BIG HUGS!

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emz View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote emz Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 3:32pm
Yeah I don't think its PND, I've had both PND and depression, I think I'm just having a crappy time and feeling low, which I think 'normal' (ie, not prone to depression) people get as well lol

DH won't go to another person, it took enough to get him there in the first place that having to do the meet and greet and spill everything again would be too hard for him I think. We'll see. I don't even know if we'll bother at all really, and just try and do things on our own.

It's just one of those days where I wish we just had Jack because by himself he's so cool, and I wish I was working full time. I'm really not enjoying my new baby at all, all she does is feed, chuck, cry then scream. I think knowing its not normal baby behaviour is hard too, I know what a good baby is like. Although the mw and doc did say that because of all the stress I was under while pg with her, she's probably going to be highly strung as well as everything else for a while (oh joy).

And I'm so sick of my house being a tip because I'd rather spend my free time sleeping than cleaning up. Sorry for the rant, I had just hoped that life would be a bit better.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 3:49pm
Aww Emma, huge hugs from me, I can understand a little bit as Bella is a unsettled baby and crys a lot. if you need to have a rant, then send me a message on facebook *hugs*

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Bizzy View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Bizzy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 3:51pm
Originally posted by emz emz wrote:

I'm really not enjoying my new baby at all, all she does is feed, chuck, cry then scream. I think knowing its not normal baby behaviour is hard too, I know what a good baby is like. Although the mw and doc did say that because of all the stress I was under while pg with her, she's probably going to be highly strung as well as everything else for a while (oh joy).



OMG i cant believe they said that, thats horrible and so not true!!!!! some babies just are more grumpy.

My first child was a piece of cake too. It wasnt till i had toby that i realised not all babies are so goood. He is contrary and was even as a baby, he was a bad sleeper, grumpy, wouldnt latch on at 3am - i think the record was 3 hours once... he was just a horrible baby - i remember telling my SIL he was a little sh*t and she could have him..she was horrified but i wasnt kidding.

i think you shold finish the counselling anyway, its free and what have you got to lose... other than that try to take it easy on yourself, things will change - i know this cause they always do! hang in there!


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote pepsi Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 October 2009 at 4:04pm
*HUGS* Emz, so sorry to hear you've been having a terrible time and I really hope things start to turn around for you. I guess you can really only work on one thing at a time and it sounds like you're overwhelmed..

Have you started on any meds or anything for Ava's reflux? (Alyssa had it really bad and just cried, spewed all day long as a baby too).. That alone is such a stressful thing to deal with and perhaps having her a little more settled will help you immensely.
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