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lizzle 
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 Topic: suitable punishment
Posted: 28 February 2010 at 9:45am |
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DH and I went out last night and Mum had the kids for a sleepover. they were not so well-behaved - wouldn't go to bed etc. But it turns out while they wouldn't go to sleep they were throwing toys - which consequently took a couple of chunks out of Mum's furniture (new and wooden). She is unimpressed. Now at 4 and 5 they should certainly know much better than that.
So, any ideas about suitable punishments? I would like it to fit the crime as much as possible, without being too much for a kid to understand. and immediate. Mum has said "no sleepovers until you can behave yourselves" but that isn't as immediate as I would like.
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Rachael21
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 10:08am |
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Take some toys away? Thats what I usually do when Jack throws toys.
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caraMel
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 10:19am |
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Aw that sucks.
I'd get them to write letters to Grandma to apologise and then deliver them and apologise in person too.
That always seems to help get Ella thinking about how the person affected feels.
Edited by caraMel
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Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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jazzy
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 11:20am |
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They need to understand how up set Nana is. Take them there with their sorry cards & show them the damage & talk to them about the consequences & then take something away that they really like, a toy, tv or outing.
I am strict on toys, when my kids start throwing them they go away. They soon get the message.
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arohanui
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 11:29am |
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Yep I'd take away 1 or 2 favourite toys each and get them to write a sorry letter (they could dictate to you) and a draw a picture and take it over to your mum... and like jazzy said, talking about it.
You could even see if there's anything they can do for your mum to try to make it up.... like 'help' by vaccuming or something. It's not so much that they'd do the vaccuming so that she wouldn't have to do it (unless your boys are amazing at vaccuming lol), but the learning from the action of them doing something good to make up for something bad IYKWIM.
Maybe they have to have a certain amount of times they visit your mum during the day (eg 5), and once they have behaved appropriately for 5 visits then they will be allowed to stay over night again.
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Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... 
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LouD
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 1:52pm |
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Good idea on the removing the toys thing.........the toys are wat did the damage so they should be the things getting removed.........of course it has to be toys they are attached to.......like my son loves his hotwheels cars and has been without them for 5days now and is starting to get withdrawals so its now hitting home (stealing)
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lizzle
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 3:52pm |
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problem is the toys are mum's ones she has there - so they have very little attachment to them at all. Have decided to take their pocket money off them for two weeks and make them do some chores to "earn" money to get the things fixed. Mum isn't too happy about this plan cause she feels "mean" taking money from children, but too bad.
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jaz
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Posted: 28 February 2010 at 8:23pm |
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Being banned from sleeping over at my Grandmothers at that age would have been punishment enough in itself.
When DD was younger I always felt I was best to leave Mum to hand out the punishments for things that happened at her house and me for things that happened at mine.
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Bizzy
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 11:38am |
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i agree with jaz.
if you want immediate then it is too late IMO.
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bun_in_the_oven
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 2:08pm |
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maybe write a "positive" rules list with Grandma at the next visit / sleep over...
instead of
NO throwing toys
NO hitting etc etc
we will play calmly with our toys
we will be friendly and kind with nana and each other
etc etc
I think younger children respond well when there is a positive spin on things..
and a reward system >... if they do all the things at the end of the sleep over nana could give them a small toy, lollipop ??
Just some ideas
Good Luck
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.Mel
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 3:38pm |
 caraMel wrote:
I'd get them to write letters to Grandma to apologise and then deliver them and apologise in person too.
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I think that is a fantastic idea, and I would make them hand deliver them to her...
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Mr Mellow (16)
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lizzle
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Posted: 01 March 2010 at 5:29pm |
Bizzy wrote:
if you want immediate then it is too late IMO. |
am beginning to think that - it was sat night and already the kids have forgotten. might go with the note and the agreement idea.
thanks everyone
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suitable punishment
