Funeral - What would you do?

I'm just looking for some advice on this. I am not sure what to do...

My husband's grandmother died last week & her funeral is on Wednesday. Hubby is away so won't be going to the funeral. He wasn't particularly close to her and as a result I had only met her once. That aside, part of me feels like I should go on DH's behalf.

I get the impression that MIL thinks I should be there as I have just had an email from her saying that if I am prepared to go to the funeral, she & SIL will be very willing to help with the boys.

Trouble is the funeral is at 1pm, right on Liam's bedtime.

Has anyone ever taken a 2 year old to a funeral? I can't imagine he'd be keen to sit still for terribly long
. The baby would hopefully be ok (it's his awake time) but I'd probably have to feed him during it. That should keep him quiet though I guess!

It just sounds like a recipe for disaster

Thoughts??

At my grandads funeral my cousins took their kids but we left Daniel at home with the inlaws. TBH I thought it was kinda stupid that one of my cousins took his 2 year old (she would have been 2y3m or something like that). She was bored, she didn't wanna sit still. Its hard to keep them sitting in one spot very quietly. Even my other cousins kids who the youngest is 4 had a hard time sitting still and being quiet for it.

Everyone commented on why we didn't take Daniel but what my cousins were dealing with with their kids was the exact reason we didn't take them. Little ones don't understand why they need to sit and be quiet so they don't wanna. And its not just sitting still for 5 mins.

Dunno if that helps, just my experience.

eta: thought I'd add that my cuz daughter ended up having a tanty, so he let her go and she was wondering around the place back and forth to people she knew as that was the only way she was gonna stay quiet.

Edited by kebakat

I agree with freespirit.

We took DD to my step-Mums funeral when she was 16 months. She sat at the back with MIL and I took lots of yummy food for her and a book etc. She was fine and I was sitting in the front row and never heard her at all. Many people commented to me how nice it was that I took her along.

My niece was only 2 when my mum died, and they of course came for the funeral, I think in the end she was fine can't remember much as most of my attention was on her big sister who was 7 at the time. I think my SIL took her outside when she got restless - funeral was a church.

We took DD 8mths and my brother took nephew 6mths to my cousins funeral recently. DD was fine just sat on my lap and played with the chair the texture interested her lol. We had her dummy ready if we needed it. Nephew was fine apart from the fact that he was farting bahahaha he was sitting behind mum and playing with her top as well. So I would think the baby will be fine.

No advise on the 2yr old sorry, but I would sit on the aisle and near an entrance towards the back maybe if you do go so that you can make a quick exit if need be. Is 2yrold interested in things like car or have something he plays quietly with that you could possibly put him down on the ground with?

Thanks everyone for your replies. It's good to hear from those of you have actually taken kids along before.

After managing to speak to DH last night we have decided the 3 of us won't go. I just feel that it would stress me out too much. If it was a closer family member then things would be different.

Thanks again

Good decision sally belly, We took DS1 to my husbands uncles funeral, he was just 2 at the time. What a huge mistake that was! we had no one to look after him, he slept in the pram but woke as soon as the music started. i ended up sitting outside with him for all of it. it was in tauranga too, so a long trip!

For DH grandparents one's we didn't take him, was the best decision. he wouldn't understand why people are crying and would be upset to see people he loved cry.

Hasnt your MIL said she would help you with the kids? That suggests she really wants you there and out of respect for the family I personally would go. Ive taken the kids to funerals when they were little and had no understanding and with the elderly funerals it was nice to see the generations and oldies love little kids. Even if you had to take them outside for most of it at least you would be there.