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mummymonster View Drop Down
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    Posted: 20 May 2010 at 8:58pm
DH is wonderful. He is just great with DS. He does more of the night waking stuff than me. Changes stinky nappies. Washes dishes. Vacuums. Cleans toilets. Cooks about 1/3 the dinners. And loads more.

He however does not have a blinking clue what food is in the kitchen. Can't put a thing on the shopping list. I don't even think he could write a shopping list because that would mean knowing that you need to have food in the cupboard/fridge to make dinner. Like I said he cooks - there's about a few meals he cooks, and if I say "you're on dinner tonight" he'll cook it (and it's yummy) but I need to make sure the right vege/meat is available.

How ungrateful does that sound? He does loads of stuff, why does it irk me so much that he hasn't figured out where food comes from.
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myfullhouse View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote myfullhouse Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:03pm
I don't know the answer sorry but you are not alone! My DH is great, doesn't do much housework but spends all weekend building our extension, he is always busy. But it gets right up my nose that he doesn't even see that the lawns need mowing, laughed when I said I would do them, in the end Dad did them for me today!
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.Mel View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote .Mel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:07pm
Have you actually sat down with him and gone over this with him?

Don't sweat the small stuff.... Communication is the key!!!!

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LouD View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote LouD Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:22pm
My DH is wonderful is so many areas as well, but lately ive been finding that i can never buy the RIGHT thing when shopping and he too doesnt make that much of an effort with shopping list unless i pin him down to help me

Case in point, i got him a choc lamington for after dinner from shopping and he goes "didnt they have a raspberry ones"?? and its those sort of comments ive been getting making me feel that hes totally ungrateful for what i DO buy

So i hear ya
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Haha, I understand that feeling completely. My boyfriend does everything I ask of him without delay or complaint....BUT it drives me insane that nothing gets done unless I ask him. The other night he asked "do you want me to...." and it got me really angry. Do it because it NEEDS doing, not just because I want you to dammit!

I do mega appreciate his help, but a little initiative would be nice.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Raspberryjam Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 20 May 2010 at 9:45pm
OMG can we swap pleeeease - mine is great with our girl, and he vaccums -and when you ask he will even take out the rubbish - but thats all

And well he is really hot and makes lots of money - so i guess I just persevere
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote HuntersMama Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:16am
Lucky! My DH is great with DS and works pretty hard during the day, but when he is home he 'relaxes'!!

Never has cooked dinner once, not that I mind that but doing washing once in a while wouldnt hurt him. He does do a big clean once a month, but likes to shove things in cupboards rather than put them away.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:23am
Originally posted by thesaff thesaff wrote:

Haha, I understand that feeling completely. My boyfriend does everything I ask of him without delay or complaint....BUT it drives me insane that nothing gets done unless I ask him. The other night he asked "do you want me to...." and it got me really angry. Do it because it NEEDS doing, not just because I want you to dammit!

I do mega appreciate his help, but a little initiative would be nice.


Snap!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote minik8e Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 7:31am
Originally posted by kebakat kebakat wrote:

Originally posted by thesaff thesaff wrote:

Haha, I understand that feeling completely. My boyfriend does everything I ask of him without delay or complaint....BUT it drives me insane that nothing gets done unless I ask him. The other night he asked "do you want me to...." and it got me really angry. Do it because it NEEDS doing, not just because I want you to dammit!

I do mega appreciate his help, but a little initiative would be nice.


Snap!


Snap too!! Except he doesn't do it without delay/complaint.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Flutterby Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:13am
I wish DP would do some of that stuff. He does the outside stuff but has to be asked to do inside stuff and even then he procrastinates (sp?) for so long that I end up doing it anyway.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote High9 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:15am
Same! My DP is wonderful pretty much all the time, but little things pis$ me off!

We're like Huntersmama (Emma), DP is great with Lily, works hard during the day, but comes home and 'relaxes'. He won't change a nappy unless I ask, even if he hears her fill her pants!
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:53am
Little things annoy me but I try not to get wound up about it (slightly harder with hormone lol). Like hes complaining he is running out of clothes... well do a load of washing idiot! lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GuestGuest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 9:58am
Is it not possible to separate out all of the chores? We did that years ago and it works really well for us so that we both know what we do and don't do. Eg: I do all the washing, DH doesn't touch it, DH does all the gardening, I don't touch that. That way there are no arguments.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote lilfatty Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:07am
Originally posted by Little_Red Little_Red wrote:

Is it not possible to separate out all of the chores? We did that years ago and it works really well for us so that we both know what we do and don't do. Eg: I do all the washing, DH doesn't touch it, DH does all the gardening, I don't touch that. That way there are no arguments.


I think that only works if the other person actually does their chores.    SD has stuff that really is "his job" but I give up waiting for it to be done and end up doing it myself.
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Originally posted by lilfatty lilfatty wrote:

Originally posted by Little_Red Little_Red wrote:

Is it not possible to separate out all of the chores? We did that years ago and it works really well for us so that we both know what we do and don't do. Eg: I do all the washing, DH doesn't touch it, DH does all the gardening, I don't touch that. That way there are no arguments.


I think that only works if the other person actually does their chores.    SD has stuff that really is "his job" but I give up waiting for it to be done and end up doing it myself.


Same. When I first moved in with DH he told me that one of his older friends and his wife had this deal where he looked after the outside of the house, and she looked after the inside. DH thought this was a brilliant idea and wanted to do it but I'm like nah lol.

We have to wallpaper our living room. Its the one room that is DH's job which he has known about for months. I don't wallpaper but DH does and does a good job of it. Hes meant to be starting tomorrow yet he hasn't even put any size on the walls yet so I highly doubt that its gonna get done tomorrow. Nevermind that we are trying to get our house ready asap to put on the market *rolls eyes*
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote GuestGuest Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:18am
Originally posted by lilfatty lilfatty wrote:

Originally posted by Little_Red Little_Red wrote:

Is it not possible to separate out all of the chores? We did that years ago and it works really well for us so that we both know what we do and don't do. Eg: I do all the washing, DH doesn't touch it, DH does all the gardening, I don't touch that. That way there are no arguments.


I think that only works if the other person actually does their chores.    SD has stuff that really is "his job" but I give up waiting for it to be done and end up doing it myself.


Seriously? That sucks! Maybe my DH is just scared of me It is different for us anyway because we don't have kids and both work full-time so it is only fair to share all of the household chores. This will probably all change drastically when we have a baby.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote caliandjack Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:22am

I think you do need to pick your battles, Dh refuses to do the grocery shopping without me, he can't manage by himself.  Its something we just do.

He cleans the shower  which is great, and helps out with the cleaning etc he does his own washing.  Dishes is a bone of contention in our house as he only does them when they've piled up and then complains there is so much to do.

Dh cooking involves buying takeaways. I guess I've gotten used to the way our distribution of chores works and get on with it - if DH moans about the mess I tell him to clean it up.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote heaf3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:27am
Originally posted by kebakat kebakat wrote:

Originally posted by lilfatty lilfatty wrote:

Originally posted by Little_Red Little_Red wrote:

Is it not possible to separate out all of the chores? We did that years ago and it works really well for us so that we both know what we do and don't do. Eg: I do all the washing, DH doesn't touch it, DH does all the gardening, I don't touch that. That way there are no arguments.


I think that only works if the other person actually does their chores.    


Same. When I first moved in with DH he told me that one of his older friends and his wife had this deal where he looked after the outside of the house, and she looked after the inside.



we have that sorta deal, DH does the lawns and outside stuff and i cook, clean and do washing. DH is supposed to help me though especially cleaning up dishes after i cook, but he doesnt. and then gets pissy at me if he has no clothes or somethings a mess. im not a fricken maid, he could help! especially because my jobs take hours, every day, his take maybe 3 hours a week/fortnight. but every time i have a go at him for it he says well this was the agreement we had! grrr

and it takes him forever to do anything i ask him (like hanging his towel up after his shower...) gah why cant males come with a fast forward button (and an off button!!)
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote kebakat Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:32am
Thats why I didn't like that deal at all. Doing everything by yourself on the inside takes quite a bit of effort. Whereas doing the lawns and gardens and outdoors stuff doesn't take long at all really. Plus I just hate housework! lol
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Shezamumof3 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 21 May 2010 at 10:40am
Originally posted by kebakat kebakat wrote:

Little things annoy me but I try not to get wound up about it (slightly harder with hormone lol). Like hes complaining he is running out of clothes... well do a load of washing idiot! lol


omg my DH is the same "I have no shorts left" "I have no socks", so I say, well then put some washing on!! "nah" FINE, go to work naked then!

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