Second time round - help after birth

Might be good straight away so you and dh can bond with your new baby and MIL can tend to your other baby.

I found it really great having my MIL around straight away. I had my mum too but often she had advice my mum didn't.

I would go for when your DH goes back to work. You aren't as "out of it" when you have your second.

If you are breastfeeding then you are the one getting etc so while DH's is home he can look after you three, plus do the cooking/washing etc that you don't feel up to doing, plus he won't be feeling as exhausted as you are. Then MIL is helping out in that role when he goes back to work.

Also if you have a Caesar second time around then having someone around for a longer period of time will be far more helpful.

My Dh took the time off I was in hospital & it was his responsiblity to look after Alia, make sure she was happy & make sure life kept happening outside the hospital & you know...I didn't care, I was getting a rest & bonding time with Cooper. He brought her in to see me daily & that was really cool too. My Mum came around pretty much daily when I was home but TBH I was back to normal life in 2 weeks just simply cause life carries on, kindy drop offs started when Cooper was 2 weeks old, He just had to fit into that routine.

So i had help probably up to 2 weeks after he was born.

Your DH needs to be aware that he will need to help at the start by folding that pile of washing & finishing off tea that you started organising. This will help the most as by the time he got home I was pretty dang tired & couldn't complete jobs.

Yeah I'd go for after your DH goes back to work too. Next time that is how we will do it, I want that first week or so to just be about us as a family and in that first week I was still running on adrenaline, it wasn't unti the second week that the tiredness and baby blues really kicked in, plus it eases you into your new role as a mother of 2

I'd say option two as well.

I found I missed DD like crazy while I was in the hospital and couldn't wait to get home and all be a family.
I found the visitors we had intrusive, not because they were being painful but because I just wanted a week or so just to ourselves, to bond and to recover and adjust.

It was definitely much harder for me when DH went back to work and I would have loved some help. By then the laundry was piling up, the sleep deprivation had well and truly set in and DD was bouncing off the walls ready to get back to normal. (although she did love all the extra Blue's Clues she got to watch in those first 2 weeks!)

I would vote option 2 too... I live with family around but no-one came to help me, lol!!! They all assumed because DH was at home for 2 weeks we would be fine.

When DH went back to work I found it quite tough.. the tiredness had well and truly kicked in and all the novelty had worn off by then.

I know! I'm in denial.

It all seems unanimous, so option 2 it is. DH has two weeks off (hopefully he won't spend one week waiting for the induction to work like last time ), and we'll keep Dan in DC for a couple of days a week. I think I really want my space in the first few days of recovery and want to be able to establish how we work and how our new wee family works (including things like not CIO).

Thanks all

Ah, she'll only be there for a week, if that. Four days is my limit for nearly all visitors - I have only a few people who can stay longer than that!