TTC for 12 months +

I can so relate babyc and brownie- pregnancy announcements feel like physical assault, to be honest, no matter how happy I am for people. My dh is v similar in that he can look at things calmly while I get upset every time I hear news. He just says don't worry it will be our turn one day. I love him for it but waiting so long us rough! I am away for the weekend out of internet range so will be no updates from me. Keep brave ladies :)

Red you totally hit it on the head! It does feel like a physical assault especially when you are on AF it becomes a double wammy lol

Hi ladies. Tough reading today!

BC - I don't have any coping strategies for you sorry. I am just as bad! I think having a good cry does really help and I guess it is all part of the grieving process. One thing that has helped more in general is taking up new hobbies or having a focus on something such as exercise, sewing, singing lessons, book club (I have done all of these things). I think having all these things to look forward to in my life has made me think less about the things I am missing out on, such as a baby. DH and I have also talked about the possibility of not having children. It is bloody hard, but I have started reading about life without children, kind of just to prepare myself. I have absolutely no idea if it will happen for us but I feel like educating myself on the other possibility takes away the fear (knowledge is power and all that).
I have a huge yearning to buy baby stuff - clothes, toys, blankets etc, but can't bring myself to buy them for myself. I'm not sure why, but I just can't do it, it feels too tragic. However, I have started buying things for friend's babies and they all say to me that when it's my turn, they will give them back! Lol.

Brownie - that sounds really crappy with your sister. I don't have a sister but I always thought if I did she would be an amazing source of support during my own m/c's. It sucks that this isn't the case but good on you for looking after yourself and telling her you are not ready to talk yet! I am surprised she has been so unsupportive. As someone else said, I hope she realises one day how selfish she has been and makes amends with you.

Pitter - I will get back to you in the next post - I just have to read back over the last page. I had something to say, but now I have forgotten it! Hehe.

Thanks Tan,

How are things with you?

I am just trucking along, taking the herbal stuff form the naturopath and doing the acupuncture. Waiting for November when we can try again. I am feeling a bit hopeless right now - like thinking my body is never going to make better, thicker lining etc. So I need a bit of positive thinking on board. Might have to do some meditation.

Thanks Brownie. I do need that encouragement. The herbal stuff is okay to take (taste-wise), but I am having trouble with gas and a bit of indigestion. The naturopath said to take it a bit longer and if things don't settle down, she will give me something to soothe it all.

I am enjoying the acupuncture because it is so relaxing. I really feel 'at one' with my body both during and after. And the acupuncturist is so positive about the process. She really believes that it will improve and she even said she doesn't think it will take long. She specialises in fertility issues and I am really happy with her. I see you are in Christchurch, so if you are keen, I do highly recommend her. Her name is Suzanne Tapper and she works at Ferrymead Medical Centre - FA also recommended acupuncture and is happy that I am going to her.

Oh how I love coming in here as you all get it. My post first thing today in the tww thread was about a close friend who is pregnant. They have struggled and been through IUI, misc, eptopic so I am thrilled but it still hurts. She came and told me last night before people in work found out but it is still hard to deal with. It does feel physical - sometimes it feels like me heart is being ripped out!

So sorry to hear about your sister. I am not close to mine and sometimes wish I was.

I made the mistake today of counting how many cycles we have been trying - this is our 35th! Three and a half years.

I feel like a pin cushion at the minute too but my results are good so I am hoping to ovulate this weekend and get my bfp this cycle or onto IUI we go.

Oh janem sorry to hear that you did not responde to clomid. What dose are you on? Maybe you just need a bit more for it to work.
Was it your blood results around CD12 or 21 that the verdict was on?
This whole journey is so hard. I did respond last cycle and so far so good this cycle but I left myself beleive then that obviously I would get bfp?!?! NO! Try try and try again.
Let yourself have a few down days and see if you can get an appointment or even discuss with the nurse the next steps.
I know it helps us having a plan in place.
Thinking of you and sending hugs your way

Edited by Icecream - 28 July 2013 at 3:12pm

I'm baack! :)

Just had a couple of days away for a wee break with the hubby. Nice.

Jane, the when I was on clomid for a month with my iui I didn't respond to it either (I still just produced one egg like usual). I gather that it is a bit of an experiment with dosage the first time you go on it. They will probably up the dose for you next time.

Well, I made it through to 17 days post ov, with full pregnancy symptoms and temps that continued to climb.....sure enough though I started getting bad cramps this eve and now some bleeding. Gutted! All over again! I never bother testing these days, but I am certain something was going on this month. Temp was still up this morning, but I just know (like always) it will have dropped by the morning. Feel like such a fool for even getting my hopes up. Stupid really, after 3 and half years.

Sorry for the rant. This game is hard and I just don't get how to play it :(

Thanks tan

I know, I usually don't even give notice at all to any 'symptoms' over the last two years, just get on with each month after a year or so before that, analysing everything to no avail. This month was very different though - with very slight bleeding for an hour 6 days post ov - and then no bleeding at all for 11 days until today, just skyrocketing temperatures - so it finally kindof fooled me into thinking maybe it was actually implantation bleeding earlier or something. What was I thinking really. Should have known better! Passed on cocktails last night too, dam. Oh well, well used to this disappointment by now. It is what it is.

Got to harden up again I guess and put my brave face on. Maybe I will feel brighter tomorrow.