What would you do?

I am so mad, upset and angry...
We told bubs chosen name to mum and also to my grandma before she passed away. Then after the 20 week scan we told DHs mum and dad and said we would probably tell his granddad. However in telling MIL we said that we were not telling anyone bubs name, it was to be a secret and told her who we had told! A total of five people and only close close family. a decision DH and I made together as it made bubs more special.

Well today my SIL calls and tells me she loves bubs name and that MIL told her. Ok I dont blame SIL at all for this as dont think she was told it was a secret.

Well I went nuts at DH and told him to deal with MIL cause if I do I may regret it. I am sooo angry she is telling people when it is our place to do so, we have chosen not to, and we told her it was to be a secret that we were choosing to share with her!

I am ropeable and not sure what to do...she told DH to get me to email SIL and tell her not to tell anyone. Heck its not up to me to do that surely - I think MIL should be telling anyone she has told (im sure SIL isnt the only one!) that she made a mistake! ARGHHHH I hate inlaws!!!

I agree with Meow, it's a shame she told people but she probably did get excited ( I know my MIL was!)...I'm sure she didn't do it with any nasty intent (well I hope not!!).

I guess the problem with only telling a few people something like the gender or name is that eventually someone may slip up intentionally or not. That's why we were open with both Maddie's gender and name.

Maybe just have a talk to your MIL and just explain how important it is to you that the name is kept private.

I agree with the Inlaws comments....he he ha ha

I agree may be talk to your MIL (Once you have calm down ofcourse) that she should stop telling people as it is your wish not to tell any one.

I also agree with others that your MIL is just excited!! is it her first G/Child?? My MIL was very excited!! VERY!! but we never told her Zaara's name untill I went into labour and it slipped out of my mothers mouth (I told her few days earlier)...I just looked at my Mother...like what the H^#$.....it was our duty to tell MIL...but in my mum was just excited that any min she will see her G/Child!! So these things happen!! Big

I told DH to handle her - I was way too mad to do it.
WE decided on name for both a boy and girl way back and stuck to it....we wanted it for ourselves mainly and to call bubs by name just him and I before she comes...
MIL and I have issues anyways ....first grandchild or not she has really shown little interest and except for when DH drags me over I never hear from her even if Dh tells her I am sick etc. She never calls etc so dont expect that to change once bubs here either.
Apparently she had written bubs full name down and left it out on bench....she knows SIL is always there....right in sight...!!! ARGHH.....have left Dh to deal with HIS mother.....

In Laws suck! If she was told it was a secret and not to tell people then she should have kept her mouth shut- I would be furious too. I don't have a very good relationship with my in laws either so can completely relate. My DH is absolutely useless at putting his foot down with them too which doesn't help.

So can relate with you there with the in laws, mine is more of a FIL issue, and as Andrew is getting older he is becoming more of a pain. We have told everyone we are having a boy, but I think second time round its not as a big deal to everyone else. Names we can't agree on one to save our lives. As DH works with children any boys name I say I get "nope have a kid with that name he's a pain in the you who where". I would be going nuts as well she was told its a secret so she should have listened.

Bombshell I can relate to not wanting to tell people - we kept ours a secret as well as what we were having when we found out with Ayja, we did that because, well, we wanted to find out for us and so i could bond with her a little better considering i was going back to study so soon after having her, and i wanted to call her by her name, and have that special time just for us. We only told my sister and my MIL. The way i saw it was we found out only for our benefit, told those couple of people so we wouldn't go completely nuts, and if we hadn't found out no one would have known so whats the big deal anyway.

The problem with our family was that everyone KNEW that we knew, and would grill Paris on what it was and what we were calling it.. which i thought was a bit low, Paris would call her "bubba ayja" when no one else was around, but if someone asked her what the baby's name was going to be she would say "baby" and laugh. we trained her good.

How rude of your MIL to do what she did, some people take away those special things and don't realise how much it might have meant to others. I would go with what others have said and take the wind out of her sails by announcing it over christmas or in some special way - it will be much more special coming from you anyway.

LMAO - funny but Dh calls my mum his mother outlaw - they are so close I feel picked on at times! But will never have that with my MIL!!!
I asked SIl to keep it secret - she will and I dont blame her in all this.
What idiot - three weeks!!! after we tell her the name writes it on paper and leaves it in plain view where people will see it...Im betting she wrote it to tell friends etc...anyways Dh has spoken to her and I think she is so #@*# dense that she sees nothing wrong in it.
I nearly text all my friends to tell them but Dh begged me not to...I have people closer to me that MIL and SIL (and to DH too) that we would have told otherwise...
thanks all....I needed to vent and was done with venting at DH to be honest...he felt so guilty last night he cooked dinner, did washing, put all his washing and clothes away ive been nagging him to do for three weeks!!! and got me a drink etc....GUILT GUILT GUILT love it!!!