My beautiful friend & her beautiful baby

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   I sit on another forum where I have made friendships with girls in my area. This next bit of writing is about my lovely friend Fleur who gave birth to her son today at 17 weeks 4 days gestation. She has been in hospital for the last 3 weeks trying to get a cervical stitch to hold her pregnancy together, she nearly lost her pregnancy due to the stitch being too loose and her waters did break yesterday but she didn't go in to labour. She was given the Ok to keep the stitch in and see how everything progressed, today was her birthday.

At 3.06pm this afternoon, after kissing my Hubby and daughter goodbye, I walked into the Maternity Ward with a laptop and a birthday pressie of DVD's for Fleur to watch tonight. 

I approached her room to hear snuffling, the curtain was closed which was usual (I don't think Fleur likes people looking in her room, not that I blame her those pregger chicks in labour are perves  ). 

I knocked and was about to go in but was stopped in my tracks by an aussie accent which called "Who is that?" 

I waited and replied "It's Sara"

and the accent said back "Can you go wait in the lounge please?"

"Ok then" 

I felt my stomach drop, this can't be good. No wait it is probably some sort of an internal, yeah don't be silly Sara. I went into the lounge and dropped my bags, as I turned around I saw Mark, come charging down the corridor. Four metres away and I noticed he had red eyes. 

"Fleur just delivered the baby" he said and broke down, I gave him a hug and felt myself go numb with shock again, Oh God, please make this a mistake. I promise I will go to church and do F*CK'n anything - make him say he is joking. 

But Mark was melting. 

I can't remember the words of sympathy that came out of my mouth, if I try to remember all I can think of was a pathetic "It's just not fair, you just don't deserve this". 

After a few minutes Mark momentarily composed himself then disappeared back to see Fleur. I sat down to gather my thoughts all I could think about was "What the hell?" and nothing else. I looked up again and Mark was coming down the corridor with a bundle in his arms.

He came and sat down beside me. His tiny newborn son in a small folded up piece of linen. 

He was perfect. I have seen photo's of babies including Camden who were at a similar gestational age but nothing prepares you for the site of a child, that is the size of a candy bar. His translucent skin was filled with tiny veins and he was formed perfectly, all little fingers, toes and extras accounted for and he looked like he was asleep in Marks arms. Mark had to go back and see Fleur so he handed over his child to me. 

I was in awe.

He was so beautiful and he was the spitting image of his older brother and father. The aussie accent arrived in the lounge - a hospital midwife. We sat there and stared at him together not saying anything, just looking. Mark came back to the lounge and said that Fleur was happy to see me now. I must say at this point I was ready to be given my marching orders. I mean, who wants some crazy tart from the internet around you when you are having such an emotional trauma. But in I went and straight to Fleur with her 2nd born, I rested him on the bed and hugged her. The numbness that had been keeping my tears and emotions at bay and my "WHAT THE!?" up front suddenly dissolved and I burst into tears as I gave her a hug. "I'm so sorry" I cried (yes, very Mills and Boon).

We sat there chatting for a bit about everything, her newborns name Keegan Leslie. When and how they chose it. 

It seems more like a jumble of words now, what we all talked about I mean. Fleur being optimistic about their child bearing future and dashing away tears for their newborn, both of them building the courage then ringing family and friends. The aussie accent came back and weighed Keegan, took some prints of those perfect feet and hands then dressed him in a SANDS outfit, he was even too small for the smallest gown. Mark gave me a camera and I took photo's for them.

They eventually whipped Fleur up to theatre to get her all back in once piece (so to speak). I hung out with Mark till I had to go home myself, my own family was waiting at home for me, I didn't want to leave though.

On the way back down to Fleurs room where I had left all my stuff I found a small carnation, I took it with me and put it in with Keegan on his blankets. He still looked like a little doll, so perfect. I murmured as much to him then said my goodbyes as I went to meet Hubby.

I got in the car and we went home, I tried to make some sembiance of conversation to Hubby but nothing more than short sentences like "They didn't deserve this" and "He was so tiny" came out. I hugged Olivia close when we got home. It is strange but I feel I have no right to love my child and hold it close when people as lovely as Fleur and Mark can't do that with their own children.

Mark and Fleur are such special people, I know I have reiterated this in a million of my posts but they are. I have never known such courage and love, knowing them and their children will be a highlight of my life for years to come. 