newly single mum

well, it looks like i'm joining the ranks of single mums. sam and i broke up yesterday.
i must admit i'm at a bit of a loss as to how to approach this whole thing. he doesn't want to talk to me but i still want him to be around for mikey and to do that we have to be on friendly terms which just isn't happening. any suggestions?

awww hunny lots of hugs maybe give it some time

Big hugs Ella! Have been there myself and it is very sucky!

I found that I had to let Willie have his space - if I tried to force a relationship between him and Maya he got very defensive. I made it as easy as possible for him to see Maya (letting him know when we were visiting friends in the area where he lived, inviting him to things like her birthday party/christening etc.) and if he did want to see her I didn'y go out of my way to be difficult (altho sometimes it was very tempting to say "you can see her only on MY terms, in reality that would have meant he didn't see her at all).

I also learnt very quickly when she was a bit older not to tell her when he was coming coz he would often not show up and she would be really disappointed.

More big hugs - try not to worry about him and what he's doing and focus on getting you and Mikey thru it - the rest will come later.

PM me if you need anything.

thanks guys, it's totally sucking here today but i guess it will get easier (it'd better!!) with a bit of time.

My friend broke up with her partner and they found living apart really helped them grow closer.. not sure if that's what you want, but they still live apart and they have done since their daughter was quite little.. she's the same age as Ella..

maybe after things have calmed down a bit you could have a talk to him and see if you can work out times that he can see Mikey.. like he could have him on the weekends or something like that.

I'm really sorry Ella, I've come close several times to being a single mum myself

not sure what to say but i am sorry to hear you've broken up. I guess just as Emma pointed out, try to keep it as nice for Mikey as possible. I have such horrible memories of my parent fighting. Oh and the not telling him his dad is coming is a very good tip. I remember sitting on the steps waiting for dad soooooo many times and being in tears when he didnt turn it.
Big hugs

Hey im sorry. I know its not the nicest thing to go through.
Hang in there, hun.

very sucky, sorry to hear it.

def give it some time, but in that time look into your rights re access and child support and anything else important. When you do see sam keep it as civil and polite as posssible and if you are polite then he will have to do the same too.

oh and i agree too not to let mikey see you two fighting or play the blame game or make mikey feel like he has to pick...

and remember if you are feeling bad mikey might be too, its going to be rough on both of you, but i am sure it will get better, hopefully sooner.

take care...

Really sorry to hear that things are so yucky for you I hope you are doing ok.