Relationship with your mum post-baby

It seems nearly everywhere I turn, someone comes out with a comment like, "since I had kids, me and Mum have been so close!" etc etc. But that hasn't happened for me - it's more like I look at the job she did, and think "WHY did she think THAT would help?!" Then I try not to think about things like that too much or I get too frustrated.

So what's "normal"? Closeness out of nowhere, or frustration at her old-fashioned (or just plain weird) ideas?

Me and my mum and one reason I think is while I was growing up at home I was so much like her when she was a teenager (clashed with her mum and now they get on really well) and I think she didn't want me to turn out like she did and run away to a different country. Once I moved out it was difficult to see her (I lived in Palmy she still lived in Feilding and I didn't have my licence) so we were able to make a new relationship (a bit like starting over again). When we told her I was pregnant it was like I had a new mum she was so excited and all the things she had said about having a baby young had gone out the window. We disagree on things (sleeping on the back is one) but she has certainly giving me a lot of advice (the best was with Andrew after having Josh when I got out of the shower and Josh had been moved from the floor to the chair , and my mum told me I dragged my sister around my the ears  at that age) with having 2 children, and she is the only one that can get a burp out of Josh if he has worked himself up. The one thing I know i'm going to miss is the babysitting when she moves back over the ditch.

Me and my mum a way closer now that I've had James we talk to each other everyday and like gandt said I find he an excellent parenting resource.

Mum and I were always close. I don't know that me having a baby has made us any closer really. I still think she doesn't think of me as a mum, but just as a daughter who gave her her first grandchild!!!

When Ashlee was newborn, I tended to rely on her a LOT when it came to advice, and it was good to know she was on the other end of the phone for the 'can you come around because Baby's not settling and DH and I can't take it anymore and have exhausted all options'-type phone calls . Some of the advise she gave I didn't agree with and chose not to take on, other parts were like pure gold and worked like a charm. It's very interesting to note the differences in parenting guidelines through the years though (the whole sleeping on back/tummy/side thing for example). We can tend to disagree on things like that.

much closer here my mum is a great mum one you could always count on and loves all her kids to death she was there for me when james as a newborn screamed for 8 weeks and for his herina opp at 8 weeks and though all his trips to the doc and still keeps going we are going thur a rough pacth right now but i know we will make it thur

I can't stand my mum at the moment! Basically it is like we dh and I no longer exist and it is all about jack. She came round the other weekend and didn't talk to us at all just sat there waiting for Jack to wake up. That coupled with comments like "so do you have PND yet" don't help things.

i'm actually getting closer with my dad! He has never been a man of emotion. whenever I ring up I would get Mum and if it was Dad he'd say "I'll get your mother" but now I get texts from him and phone calls asking how Peanut is going.......very strange....but very nice

I'm definitely closer to my mum now, but it's probably a combination of things. I left the UK back in '99 and they arrived here (to live) last April, so it was great to finally have my Mum around. She was also one of my birthing partners and I can honestly say I don't think I would have coped as well without her there, keeping me calm etc.
She also looks after Caitlin and I wouldn't trust anyone else in the world with that special job!

I certainly appreciate our relationship a lot more now, she's very much like a role model for me and I appreciate her more as a woman, a mother and now as the best Nan-Nan ever
(and yes I have told her this - that's what I wrote in her Mothers Day card)

baalamb wrote: pepsi wrote: ... and sometimes she isn't listening when I talk because she's distracted by everything Alyssa does! OMG this is so my mum! I will drop Ashlee off to her and start giving her the routine run down and she goes 'oh can you write it down because I'm not listening' and then she goes back to talking to Ashlee hahaha! We've joked that we need to have a laminated card of Ashlee's routine to keep in her nappy bag but I don't think that's such a silly idea!

Same here - with my mum and the in-laws! Drives me insane when we see them; I might as well be invisible because as soon as their 'grandchild homing beacon' switches on there is nothing else that matters! I often don't even get a 'hello', let alone any sort of conversation. Yeesh!

Back to the original post...I am closer to my mum, but we still have arguements and issues. Just a normal relationship for us, but I do feel like I understand her a bit better now and appreciate her a lot more.

OK well Tresea you know a little of my history so I won't really go into it all now, But having a baby to start with made me further apart from my Mum then ever mainly cause I now relise what a crap job she did ( iknow she did the best she knew how still pretty crap tho).  I talk to my Mum, nearlly everyday that is more out of I feel resposible for her.  I have now got a pretty good relationship with her how ever tht is because she is on her best behviour with me cause she know's I won't stand for her crap around my babies.  Also we have a role reversal going on now I adult she child.

Now as for my other Mother who I met when Alan was about 6 month's old.  I am closer to her then ever scince having Mikey I think htat has alot to do with the fact she was at the birth and all.  I am very lucky I have a good friend that gave birth to me and a Mother that take's care of me like a Mummy should.