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Lisha 
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Location: Christchurch
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 Topic: What to do??
Posted: 06 July 2007 at 9:06am |
I don't know where to start! My brother married my best friend 2 years ago, and the funny thing is that her sister married my other brother a few years before that. I thought great, not only am I gaining a new sister in law, I will still have my best friend! Well, things haven't turned out like that. For one, we hardly talk to eachother anymore, she has a 8 month old, and I thought that she would be asking me for advice and I have had nothing. If she had married someone other than my brother, I think that things would have been fine. And xmas's and get togethers are even worse, as when they all get together, they are in their own "clan" and because I married into a different family it feels like we are always left out. Maybe I am jealous, it always gets me down when I think about it, and I can't even brag to my mum as she thinks the sun shines out of my best friends bum!!!  She has an 8 mth that she spends sooo much time with and is over the top with, I am sure that I wasn't like that with my daughter. My brother ( her hubby) and I hardly talk, he thinks that he is too col for me! They are all farmers so maybe we all don't have anything in common. sorry for all the ranting, I just want to know if I should get over it, I am pregnant so this issue is really sensitive, and I get upset easy at the mo!!  Is there anyone out there that is in the same suituation?? I just feel like I am drifting away from my family.
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aimeejoy
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Location: Dannevirke
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 2:26pm |
 Sounds like a tricky family dynamic, with the sisters marying your brothers. Is there a reason why things have gone downhill? Or more that you have drifted apart? I am really sorry that you are feeling so down about it and the preggy hormones will not be helping at all! I dont have much advice sorry, but I'm sure someone on here will have something great. Big hugs.
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Aimee
Hannah 22/10/05
Greer 11/02/08
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Lisha
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Location: Christchurch
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 2:56pm |
Things changed when she got pregnant... I am lost!  Thanks for your reply though! 
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SMoody
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 3:16pm |
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Maybe it just feels like it is a lot different now that she has a child of her own that she needs to spent time with. We always expect friendships to stay the same and to spent the same amount of time with our friends. But once you have your own family things just change slightly without you even realising.
How about just inviting her over one time with bubs for a cup of coffee and cake and let the kiddies play together.
Some people also tend to not ask advice with their own kids as they either cope or they dont want to upset a friend by not taking their advice afterwards.
But really think you should call her and give you guys the oppurtunity to spent some time together. Or call her and ask her for a girls night out. Some movies ect. (dont be alarmed if she says no. I didnt leave my baby alone at night until she was about 18 months old.)
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Lisha
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 3:20pm |
The problem is that she lives 2 hours away, to far to go for a day trip! I did expect things to change, but not as far as not returning my emails or text messages.
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Leish
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 4:14pm |
Thats so sad Lisha . In your situation I think I would feel the same and would have hoped that my friend and I would have been brought closer together having children who are close-ish in age. But I guess that isn't always the case.
She might not ask for advice out of pride. I know I can be a bit like that.
I agree with Shirena and maybe try to arrange a get togther with her to see how things go between the two of you. Perhaps if you feel some distance between the two of you then, it might be an idea to either bring it up with her to see if there is something actually wrong or just move on. Good luck and big hugs.
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SMoody
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 5:31pm |
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Aaah bummer on the 2 hours. Maybe make a girly weekend thing or something perhaps? Agree with Leish, perhaps bring it up with her.
Hugs
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Lisha
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 6:36pm |
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Thanks I should.. it's funny though as when we are together she acts like nothing is wrong, maybe it is just me?
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Leish
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 9:37pm |
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You never know I guess. But if you are feeling like things aren't quite right then I don't think there would be anything wrong with just letting her know how you are feeling. There could be something that just needs to be cleared and if not - hopefully that will get it off your mind and you can start feeling better again. Good luck.
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Kels
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Posted: 06 July 2007 at 10:00pm |
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I agree with Leish about letting her know how you are feeling. Hopefully it will clear things up for you. Goodluck.
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Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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MyMinis
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Posted: 07 July 2007 at 1:38pm |
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I agree with Leish aswell.
Hope it all works out for you.
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What to do??
