From A Newbie (now a groupie)

I found OB when I was about 30 weeks pregnant. It was the first forum I have joined or even read.

Confession: I lurked in the Aug 08 Mums 2 B thread until all the Aug 08 babies were born. I never posted. But I got to know all the names and enjoyed all the wonderful babies and their mamas.

I decided to join when Cohen was about 3 weeks, thought I would join in the Aug 08 mums thread. But everyone knew each other so well it seemed a bit random for me to start posting (strange lack of confidence I know). I think I did post once or twice, but as I did not know the online    guidelines(intro's etc) I think this appeared very random.

Since that time I have posted more and more and have been enjoying the support on here and what I have learnt from other mamas and their experiences until I logged on today.

This place can be really scary for a newbie like me. I thought it was a place where you got support and advice and gave it too. Now I just think I am very naive in this online world. As a newbie it can be really hard to join a group such as this - you all appear to know each other so well and when it gets bitchy - well it puts you right off.

I think we should spare a thought for all those lurkers like me, who want to be a part of this supportive community. If they are lurking today, they will be reading (as drama hooks us all in) but maybe not joining.

The strange thing is despite our difference we are all trying to do the same thing - raise our children.

You summed that up nicely 3boys.

Hey if it's any consolation, I'm a September mum and the July/August girls welcomed me on to their board no questions asked... So please come and join us, we really are kind of cool

Now, this is JUST my opinion, BUT, I do find that something that happens in forums everywhere is one person asks for an opinion or whatever and one person has a differing one, well, that person gets flamed. In real life, not everyone agrees or is even nice. It is nice to feel all warm and fuzzy on here, but it is important to remember that not everyone's opinions are the same and not everyone sugar coats their opinions either. Sucks, sometimes, but thats the way it is.

Emz, I hear what you are saying about people not listening to opinions form non baby people, but to be honest, I take non baby advice with a grain of salt as well. I respect educated advice, but really do take the "well, if you haven't actually been in that situation, it's hard to know" stand. No offence intended to you, either, I enjoy reading your well thought out and informed advice. Coming from a teaching background gives you some great insight, and man, you must see it all!

I'm sorry if it seems intimidating for newbies, and it must do, I imagine, especailly over the last few days. Just remember, there are lots of great people in here, but as in life, there are dominant personalities and differing opinions, so just "avoid" the school yard if you can!

Can i just say i completely aggree! TO be honest i wont be giving any advice on babies until i experience it for myself, as I find it difficult to take advice from others who havnt been somewhere i have eg. T1 Diabetes.

And these things dont just happen when you are a newbie either. I belong to another webiste which i have been a member of for a year or so now, and I still feel like im not part of the club/group but hey the websites are interesting reads and obviously im not really put off by them.
I would also say that, interestingly, I am a dominant personality in RL but on webistes i tend to be more of a wall flower.. GO figure!