What would you do?

Gee, what an awesome lady you are

I can't really add much to what others have said.

I can understand that no matter what you decide will be tough, so I'm really thrilled you have a massive amount of support behind you

Best of luck!

Thank you all, the comments have been really helpful, particularly the ones about DH having to be 100% there with me.

Unfortunately he isn't, so I'm not going to push him. I forget that its me who sees the wee boy every day, not him, so he wouldn't have the same feelings I have towards him.
We were given the option of even having him just for a week (next week) until they found him permanent care. They felt it would be less stressful for the boy considering he sleeps here for his naps and knows me very well.
DH says we don't have a big enough car and we can't afford to go out and buy a bigger one, all for the sake of the wee boy. Which is fair enough.

Another stink thing is that as of next week I have no job They won't need me anymore as he will be getting stimulation and language from his new home...



Edited by kaiz231

ditto what the others have said.

From a professional point of view I say offer respite care but not placement - DH not being on board would be my reason for this! the child needs permanacy not a temp solution and believe it or not there are MANY people out there who would care for him. Unfortunately the CYFs system is set up whanau hapu iwi and if there are close family they have first option - but if no options there then they will look elsewhere...and that is where approved caregivers or foster families step in and his disabilities wont matter to them - esp if they have longed for a child....and there are so many of them out there!

if he is placed permanantly with you that is it...youre his parents...I dont read that DH is into that yet or at all....and you hve 4 other kids to consider and your own relationship with DH. Maybe temp placement or respite at your home would be a solution for now..../

all the best and what a terrible time for the poor boy to have noone to love him!