CLB

DH works from home so I can't be of much help answering your question, but I would be surprised if following the CLB left your DH with less time than he would have following a less-structured approach ...

DH loved that 10.30 feed, but I don't know whether he made eye contact or not? (I was too busy sleeping!) We did follow the CLB routines pretty loosely, but I think that is probably the key to making them work, as every baby is different. ie. we had a refluxy baby she had different demands as far as feeding went, as she'd only take small amounts at a time.

As long as you let your DH be as involved as he can be, when he is around, like on the weekends (as Kiwikid says), then there shouldn't be any bonding issues, I wouldn't think...from what I've seen the problems arise when the mum wants to continue doing everything even when the dad's around, but to even be asking this question you'll obviously take the right approach!

Interesting debate. I think you have to do what works for you. Some people swear by this method and no doubt its a good fit for some babies. I have read CLB, I still get it out for the odd laugh with my girlfriends from time to time.

I'm a routine kinda girl I'm prehaps a little less "child centric" as someone put it than others on this forum. I beleive part of a parents role is to guide their infants towards learning how to sleep, eat etc.

That said I do think that there is real value in learning your newborn's cues and working around then, so you both take bits from each other. I suffered from terriable anxiety and PND, and thinking I wasn't doing things by the book was in hindsight a huge contributor.

I had a premmie baby and I would caution anyone who has a prem to think carefully about CLB. These babies need more feeding than others and they don't last long awake. GF has newborns up for two hours for nearly all babies that is too long and they will be overtired. My girl lasted 45 mins max untill about 6 weeks. Even Mums who follow CLB don't have the awake time that GF uses.

Secondly nearly all new babies clusterfeed and are wakey in the evenings and CLB doesn't allow for that.

Thirdly not all babies will take a bottle, my DD hates the texture of rubber and will even now only chew on a teat. I couldn't have got an expressed bottle in her if I'd tried.

Fourthly GF doesn't tell you what to do if your baby doesn't sleep for the times set down in her book or what to do if they don't settle.

Overtime with good guidence, preservence and good understanding of your baby's personality, enery levels, tired signs etc you will get them into a routine. I still use some books (not CLB, but others) to get a rough idea of sleep times etc and them use that to try and find something that works for DD.

Good luck and I commend you for thinking about you will tackle your baby's day well before they arrive. Make the most of it, they grow up so fast!

I read so many baby books, including CLB, the baby whisperer, oh baby, to name a few. I thought I had it sussed.

HOWEVER, babies just don't work like that!! I would do this and that and then the other things the book would say and then my son would not do what was meant to come next. He hadn't read the book, he didn't know he was meant to sleep.

I would recommend what I call the desert island approach - if you were stuck on a desert island with just you and your baby and no books what would you do in a certain situation? Basically if your baby is hungry you would feed it, if he/she was tired, you'd give them a sleep, if they cried, you cuddle them. The only baby book I would now recommend to any parent is The Attachment Parenting book.

But in answer to your original question, I would just get DH to do what he could during the week, and not worry to much about the eye to eye contact, and then in the weekend get him to take a much more active role - and give you a break too!

I.............am far too lazy to read any of these books.
That is all

Oh and wanted to add, if he is happy to do the 10.30pm night feed with expressed milk, that is really good bonding time (and rest for you). Even if it's just on weekend nights that he does it, plus any weekend time he spends with baby will add up :)

A friend of mine recommended CLB and another friend had a copy and gave it to me so I had a good read and thought I'd probably give it a go but ended up having a really sleepy newborn who then turned into a cat napper so every couple of weeks I had another look to see if the routine was likely to suit us but it never really did.

Anyway, that doesn't really answer your question but my DH got up and did all the nappy changes for the first month, and the idea to bring the baby to you is a good one (though he was right next to me so no point for us).

I'd say even if he's not looking into your baby's eyes it will still be a nice snuggle bonding time. Probably similar to a dreamfeed. Half the time both DS and I had our eyes shut during night feeds anyway. But maybe that could be your modification to the routine that your DH is allowed to look into his eyes but just not be all chatty and pulling faces etc... might be an idea?

I got this book, read it, tried it, not a chance, DD frequently wakes at 6am for the day, she only stays up for about and hour then only sleeps 45mins (wind wakes her), so there is no way she would fit this.

Emmecat- Yup she has no kids, kinda pointless for a baby "trainer" I reckon, she is probably too scared to actually have one of her own

Kiwi- it certainly doesn't make you less qualified but what it does mean is that you're looking at a situation from an etic, not emic point of view...that is an 'outsider' looking at a situation as opposed to someone having actually *been* in a situation iykwim?

oh edited to add.....was I belittling someone?

Edited by Emmecat

Emmecat wrote: . Or any other 'baby trainers'. Babies aren't dogs.

oh....then I should stop throwing that stick to Tyler for him to bring back to me then ? ahhh bugger

Ive never ready any baby routine book ever, and dont want to.

With my kids Ive always just followed their cues...and that worked really well for us.