With adoption, the bio dad has to sign off his rights to the child with his own lawyer (and if he agrees to sign away, you would be expected to pay that bill) and basically it is that lawyer's job to convince the bio dad not to do it because he may regret the decision in the future.
It's an official thing Bridie so go for the adtl guardianship (it's by far easier anyway) because that covers everything you're wanting except for excluding the ex's rights over Jake. It is unheard of to remove someone's guardianship rights over their kid but parenting orders can restrict their contact (sometimes completely) and that's where your assurance can lie if you are still worried about the kidnapping.... but I think you probably already know that.
Hey T yep I know the parenting order means legally I have the most say over Jake. My main concern is that he would still have rights. That makes me nervous considering his mental unstability. I'd really like him to be out of Js life completely with absolutely no say over anything at all. I really don't want him turning around in 5 years and demanding access to a child that has relationship with him at all OR worse than that demanding to be able to take him overseas to visit his family! We'd have to take him back to court and since hes been well-behaved in regards to us lately would we have enough sway at court to stop that? TBH I find the whole thing slightly confusing and its really difficult to get a clear answer and straightforward information from people involved in the legal system. The fact that I'm not 100% sure where we stand is causing quite abit of anxiety. I don't want to leave my butt uncovered coz I haven't got a clear picture of things and have it bitten IYKWIM!
I think I over-reacted abit coz I finally got an answer that I understood from the adoption specialist and it wasn't the one I expected or wanted.
I know you know a fair bit about this stuff - have you had much to do with step-parent adoptions? Have you seen many situations where its been done?? I don't care about the fees if its at all possible to have this done. It'll remove any confusion or future issues and if anything happened to me I'd know that Jake would be with the family and dad he grew up with and there wouldn't be any dramas!
oh luv big hugs to you. My advice would be to go down the guardianship line first then decide what your next move is. be assured you are not scaring Jake for life.
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Adoption or Guardianship?!
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