Am i over reacting???

Flissty wrote: Kelly, are you for hire when we need someone to be assertive and can't face it ourselves

haha, DH wanted to set up a service "0800 dial a b*tch "


Hope it goes well talking to the principal tomorrow Amber , don't let them intimidate you , you are your son's voice

Ditto what everyone else has just said - That is shocking

Good Luck talking to the Principal tomorrow, you know you have all of us here behind you

as you know I am Kelly's Mum and yes when her sister was at year 6 camp I went down for two days and hubby went for two and we had to sleep in the same cabin as our daughter but anyway I was looking at our local paper from last week and they were promoting a new DVD called Autism AT School for more info pj 09 846 0913 or email auckland@autism.org.nz
may be of some help

Well i spoke to the VP when i picked Bay up from school and i am now even angrier than when i began!!!!

I started out talking about him being left outside and she turned to Bay and said "were you meant to be waiting there for the teacher to come and get you?" and he replied with a rather confussed look "i dont know!!" so i interupted and said "that makes no difference at all bcos im really not happy with him being put outside without supervision in the first place giving him the oppoturnity to leave the school grounds!!!" she then gave me the "OH HERE WE GO!" look and said "alright i will talk to the teacher tommorow but he does have behavioural issues"......well now that started me off all over again!! I said "oh really bcos noone has come to me explaining these behavioural issues in detail....how do you know it isnt his aspergers?" she replied "well we dont even know that he has aspergers!" i said "well i have told everyone here so why wouldnt you know?" she said "because we need a letter from the specialist stating so which we have not recieved and we have had many aspergers thus far and have always received a letter" i said "well i have recieved the letter so i will bring it in" she said "that will be great but honestly i dont think there is anything wrong with him bcos when he is misbehaving he is able to just turn it off just like that! which an aspergers kid can not do".....well i just stood there in silence bcos im unsure whether aspergers kids can turn it on and off???? but even so, i know he may have "some" behavioural issues BUT i am F***kn fuming that they will not believe me on it and am making me feel like iv just made up the last 5 yrs of Bays "unusual behaviour"!!!!!

Im so upset and bawling my eyes out trying to calm myself down so i can go and pick my boys up from my mums, i dont want her to see me upset bcos she too is so angry over it all!!!!!!

I'm with kiwisj on the letter. It can be passed up to the principal and BOT - what is concerning is that no one has addressed the fact a 5 year old was left unsupervised. A letter also means that you can present your side of the story without being flumoxed by someone who goes on a tangent. What is of extra concern is the lack of knowledge about his disability and while I know you don't want to make the argument about that, this needs to be addressed so that he can get the support to fully participate in school life. Is he linked in with GSE (Special Ed in the Min of Ed)? I know it's now damned hard to qualify for services but if he is linked in, then maybe they could be involved in advocating and educating the school. There's also a DVD called "In my shoes" that schools should be able to access free from Min of Ed re autism spectrum disorders.

OMG.  So you told her you had a letter from the specialist confirming that he has aspergers and she is doubting the specialist because her experience as a teacher makes her more knowledgable than the specialist?????  Where does she get off?!!

I would be seriously considering a change of schools at this stage.  I have very limited experience with schools but from what I've heard the majority are excellent and those than aren't are usually due to the principles and vps.

Edited by MrsMojo

MrsMojo wrote: [ I would be seriously considering a change of schools at this stage.  I have very limited experience with schools but from what I've heard the majority are excellent and those than aren't are usually due to the principles and vps.

I really agree with Jo on this one, I don't have experience with schools myself but for a child with special needs that need to be taken into consideration I wouldn't want him in a place where he's going to be left unsupervised and his condition not taken seriously. You want to be leaving him in the care of a teacher & staff that are accepting and supportive of his aspergers, not ridiculing you and doubting the fact that there is anything medically wrong with him.

I can understand why you're upset darl, that's just not on!

Fantastic you've got some support from the Autism Society. If you had a meeting with the school about his aspergers, I wonder if they would be able to attend to support you and give the school more info?

You're doing a great job while being questioned and made to think you're don't know your son. You Do know him. You're his advocate and you are doing so well in the face of them going "nahhh".

You can talk with the school about a referral to GSE. They are part of the Ministry of Ed and have specialist behaviour teams which include psychologists and specialist teachers.   They may be able to assess him and give advice. That said, they do have a tight criteria re eligibility, but it might be worth talking about with school.

I'm wondering if you deal with the 2 issues (unsupervised/aspergers) separately - maybe a letter to school about him being unsupervised. Then in a couple of weeks, request a meeting with them and the Autsim Society to discuss his Aspergers and behavioural issues. Set an agenda in advance so you control the meeting - e.g. seeking information about what they see at school, discussing issues you have at home, what strategies you've put in place that have worked/didn't work, what information you need, what supports need to be explored .....