Time heals...whatever.

Yes. totally. This is my year:
We lost ours in August and I couldn't face the thought of sex for at least 6 weeks afterwards - I associated that part of me with the 'deadbaby chute' - fecked up I know, let alone even think about even trying to get utd again. Although I desperately wanted just to be pregnant again.
By October I was focused on getting utd (we had a 10 year anniversary and a spanky posh weekend away), but completely scared about losing again (I would fluctuate between these extremes several times a day for, like . . . forever, it felt!), and in hindsight, I know I was not ready to be pregnant. So we tried a couple of times but nowt happened (conception-wise).
November and December I was a mess again so it was off the menu, and DP was away anyway. January and Feb we decided to try again, thought it had worked in Feb but had the period from hell, and then cycle from hell in March. feb was also my due month and I had it in my head that I wanted to be utd by then.
I probably would have felt 'ready' to try again May time, but we were holding off to see the gynae and didn't want to scupper that.

And then June, and here we are.

I think what you are feeling is completely normal. Why WOULD you want something that you have had, that has brought you so much pain? I think thats what our protective 'now' selves tell us. Of course there's the chance it might not end badly, yet its hard to make that distinction of 'do I feel I could handle this again if it happened?'
And of course, your next pregnancy is likely to be full of the same concerns. I'm not programming that for you, but lets face it. WE know that not every pregnancy ends with a happy bouncing baby, an having tasted that once, its not something ANYONE would rush back to taste again. And THAT's normal, so they're all telling me.

Don't pressure yourself . . . I know it might seem like the clock is ticking in every other respect at times, especially watching everyone around you announce their preggy. There's no right or wrong way.
Personally I have felt a heap better since getting utd, but its took me a year of processing our mc and being a complete headcase!
You're not a fraud, people who are frauds don't really acknowledge their true feelings. You're honest and there is nothing wrong with that. Please don't hide stuff because you have nothing to be ashamed of. Especially here.

I'm glad you posted as I have been stalking this forum wondering how you were doing