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kellyd 
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Joined: 29 June 2008
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 Posted: 14 April 2010 at 4:24pm |
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Hi ladies. I have to agree about DH being anti people knowing - I think that's a man thing. Men don't talk about painful things, and talking about it makes it painful all over again, so they put things behind them and move on.
I told my hubby I was sad I never got to see/keep/bury baby because I wanted to buy a plant in memory and he wasn't keen on the idea. He thought it would make it worse, having to face it/look at it everyday, making it fresh in your memory constantly etc etc. But I could tell he really didn't know if was a good idea or bad.
I come on her so often at the moment because you guys have been through it all physically and recently, so it's exactly what I'm going through, so for me, this is the best support. My husband is supportive, but he's a man and can never understand why it affects us so much.
I had another scan today which was a bit inconclusive. Am having my hCG levels tested today and Friday to make sure they're dropping correctly. I hope so, want to move on, and TTC next month. My life is consumed with thoughts of being pregnant. Everyday I think about getting pregnant again. It's a bit like a mind obsession!!! I won't feel "right' again until I'm pregnant. Does anyone else feel like that???
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jjands
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Joined: 13 December 2008
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Posted: 14 April 2010 at 4:49pm |
I think men are pretty typical aren't they? My DH couldn't understand why I was so upset that our baby got flushed down the toilet....men ...they try so hard but they just don't get it-your so right Kelly.
I hope you get pregs straight away and that it's a sticky baby. I come here ALOT at the moment too I find it very helpful.
I hope your HCG's are dropping let us know how that goes won't you?
My step DD said today "Mummy your tummy looks like your having another baby!" If I didn't have so many visitors at that moment I would've cried I still want to when I think about it  stupid stupid unfair mc
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Emmi_
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Joined: 14 May 2009
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 14 April 2010 at 8:18pm |
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My DH was the same, didnt want to talk about the MC, didnt want to tell anyone, didnt want to do anything for bub (like the tree that I made us plant). He still doesnt talk about it, I know once in the early stages of this pregnancy he opened up a little about what our first bub ment to him and how he felt. So its def not just your DH
I too became 'obsessed' with getting PG again, DH hated it, but it let me feel like I had some control over things that I didnt really. I found researching things to increase my chances of getting PG again really interesting (EPO, green tea, charting, opks, CM, CP, I even bought a $150 monitor and $90 of sticks that I didnt even need!) but it really helped me, as I said DH hated it, but I had to do waht I had to do...
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jjands
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Posted: 14 April 2010 at 8:22pm |
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ahhh that explains alot of people emmi I needed that insight into why people do things!! Thanks u.....my eyes have been so opened in the last little while
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kellyd
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Posted: 15 April 2010 at 12:43pm |
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Got results from hCG and levels are dropping. Were about 107 yesterday so will have another test tomorrow.
Just got back from coffee group with my little girl and had another slap across the face (not literally). One of the girls is pregnant, due 10th October. I'm so happy for her, and because it's not something directly linked to my pregnancy, I can be really happy for her. But what's hard is that she isn't supposed to be able to have babies. Her first child was IVF because she was told she couldn't do it naturally. They only found out at about 8 weeks because she never thought it could happen so never thought of testing. She has been drinking etc and not being careful with diet etc, because she had no reason to be careful. She's now 14 weeks and baby is great. I saw her ultrasound pictures on the fridge (her scan was the day before my scan) and it was hard - seeing an alive baby when all I could think of was my scan pictures with my dead little baby. I cried all the way home. It's so hard - everytime I think things are on the up, something else happens and it makes me sad and horrible all over again.
I just wish my baby hadn't died.
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spanky77
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Joined: 06 July 2009
Location: Wellington
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Posted: 15 April 2010 at 10:08pm |
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Love to you, Kelly, I know I need to read the rest of the thread for the details, but not tonight.
"I won't feel "right' again until I'm pregnant. Does anyone else feel like that???"
Yep. Me. I felt like I got so far with moving through this, but seeing newborns/very preggy women and hearing about yet another person getting utd makes me feel more frustrated that it hasn't happened. I definitely wanted to be utd by my due date, but thats come and gone, and nothing likely to happen for a few months yet.
Scan pics I find hard too, mainly because, like you, I now associate it with not such good news
Mc is utter utter pants and I wish none of us had to go through it. Its so up and down, isn't it.You have my support here
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jjands
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Posted: 16 April 2010 at 7:45am |
ah I don't wana go to my scan alone DH won't come he's working I know it's only a scan and I'm being silly
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Princess_Bubs
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Joined: 17 February 2010
Location: North Shore, Auckland
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Posted: 16 April 2010 at 12:22pm |
Hi Girls!
I haven't been able to post/message all week (I signed in on my boss's computer when she was away and the box was checked to stay signed in so I haven't been able to get on from another pc - she's away today so I've logged out and unchecked the stay signed in box but I'm still logged in here - So once she's back on monday I'll be locked out again :( Hope it signs out automatically after a while ?? Any advice??)
Kelly - I just want to give you a big huge  I completely understand - It's amazing what can set us all the sad and horrible feelings!
One of my darling friends is due in June, she got told she's having a girl so the baby shower was pink pink pink and she got a ton of gorgeous pink wee clothes etc, and she's just been told she's actually having a boy. she's really upset about it as she feels like she's lost a daughter (I felt sad for her when I found out, what a huge shock) But now I'm just so sad thinking she's disapointed about a healthy little boy, I know once she holds him she will be over the moon but I'm just so jealous. She doesn't know how lucky she is 
I just keep feeling so sad that I was pregnant, and now I'm not, and yet I have no baby to show for it. It just doesn't seem fair.
I have to wait to see a specialist before I can even think about trying again as I may have a prob, and my doctor promised she'd put the refferal in for me 2 weeks ago and I just phoned today and she's completely forgotten so I'm really frustrated. I don't want to wait too long (The alternative is spending over $500 just for the first consult and ultra sound privately!)
I wish I was still pregnant :( I just want to be pregnant again, and I just want to know everything is going to be ok. I just miss my baby Angel and all the fun things about being pregnant like talking to my tummy like a crazy person, and knowing that a little bub was growing in there
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 Two Precious Angel Babies 2010 / 2011 
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jjands
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Posted: 20 April 2010 at 9:20am |
It's good to see it's quiet in here again hope everyone is ok.
I got the all clear yesterday there is tissue left behind but they are happy that my body will deal with it. YAY so glad I can start putting this behind me once the bleeding stops. Even have the all clear to TTC in 2 cycles if we want :)
Hope your feeling better princess bubs big hugs
and hugs to everyone that needs them.
Can I just say-tell people what your going through everyone heard after I ended up in hospital and the support and love I didn't even know I had until then was amazing really helped
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kellyd
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Posted: 20 April 2010 at 1:48pm |
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I agree with jjands about telling close friend about what you're going through.
I told quite a few people I was pregnant this time around, so had to tell everyone what had happened once we found out the baby died.
As hard as that was, the support I got was amazing, and it made me realise how hard this would be going through it alone. My good friends are still asking me how I'm doing and still supporting me, which is awesome. I was constantly getting txts, emails and phone calls over the first few days of finding out baby had died and miscarrying etc etc, and it made me feel loved, supported and uplifted (as uplifted as you can get in this situation).
But it really helped, so don't do it alone. Lonliness isn't what you need at this time.
Hope everyone is doing OK.
Kelly.
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the wait
