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music_mummy View Drop Down
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Joined: 09 August 2008
Location: North Shore, Auckland
Points: 945 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote music_mummy Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2010 at 9:37pm
It's hard when people want to take over like it sounds like your mother does. Perhaps you could suggest she organises it and has it at her place and then she can't complain if it doesn't work out.

Or you could try and organise to have it somewhere that has no drinking like a cafe or Chipmunks if there are other children as well. The other positive of having it somewhere like Chipmunks is that the adults that are only there out of obligation (which are probably the ones that would cause trouble in the first place) wouldn't stay for long anyway. I personally wouldn't choose Chipmunks for a 1st birthday party myself (I know I have just totally contradicted myself!) but it might be a way to avoid a lot of the hassles. Is there are great family friendly cafe in Wellington you could go to?

Have you had other 1st birthday parties for extended family members? What was planned for those? Did they work out ok? Or are you the one breaking new ground with the first baby in the family?
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music View Drop Down
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Joined: 25 January 2010
Points: 192 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote music Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22 March 2010 at 10:20pm
thank you every one for the advice. I have taken stuff on board I just dont know how to solve it totally at the moment.


I would like to say my mother is not organising this birthday for our son it would mean travelling to Tauranga for it and no friends or family that live down this end of the country as they cant afford to come. Also my mother would expect to have all birthdays at her place if that happened and no way am I going to let her do that in a million years she is a control freak and loves taking over everything to do with her kids and grandkids.

there will be other children as well I would think.
It was immediate family that brought girl stuff for him as presents.
eg like girlie socks with pink on them and ribbons
suits that are total pink with bows on them.
pjs that are pink with bows on them.

we got parcels with just girls stuff in it.

there was more than that but I cant think what it was.

why would you dress a boy baby in pink socks with bows on them or in pink suits with bows on them.
even got a pink headband for him.

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freckle View Drop Down
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Joined: 03 December 2008
Points: 4773 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote freckle Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2010 at 6:25am
my advice would be to RELAX! it's not a wedding, it's a first birthday... who cares if it's not perfect, if you get presents you don't want or can't use, if grandparents come etc etc...

As for the girl's stuff ... how funny! honestly, that would just crack me up if my family did that, I can understand you could be peed off about it as well but why bother worrying about it... maybe you'll have a girl one day and can use the stuff... or sell it

From what you just said about ya mum, it sounds like she loves her children/ grandchildren - how sad that she has to miss out on the celebration because she's a "control freak"...




mum to 3 lovely girls :D
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Hunnybunny View Drop Down
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Points: 1449 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Hunnybunny Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23 March 2010 at 9:46am
Whats your sons name? Is there a chance he could have been mistaken for being a girl?

EG Alex, theres so many male and female Alex's, if they found out he was Alex, they might have presumed its a girl without thinking about it?

I also agree with freckles last post ^^
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Joined: 10 September 2009
Points: 6 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote plus2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2010 at 12:28pm
Hutt lady, are you seriously posting this or is this a wind up???

I think it's incredibly rude to tell people what to buy your child as a gift. You invite people to a party to help you celebrate the amazing first year of your child's life, it's not a present grab. If people bring you a GIFT ( gift definition, noun 1. something given to show friendship, affection, support, etc.; present) you should always graciously accept it and make a kind comment. How can you tell some one what they should give you or your child? It's a kind gesture on someone's behalf and not a way to save you money and buy your child things that you cant afford or haven't brought yet.

That said, I think you are putting way too much energy in to stressing about a child's one year old birthday party. It is supposed to be about fun and celebration and sharing it with others. Think about the sentiment of the party and stay focused on that rather than all the if, buts and maybes. Enjoy it, it will never happen again and it's a time of happiness.
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Joined: 10 September 2009
Points: 6 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote plus2 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 March 2010 at 12:34pm
I got given two tops for my son which were clearly for a girl. The person who gave it made an effort to give a gift and visit when he was born. My son will never wear it but I thanked her very much and made a comment on how lovely the colour was. It was far more important that she thought of us and wanted to give something to my son than what the actual present was. I will re-gift them to someone who has a little girl as it would be nice for someone to get some use out of them. However, the sentiment of her giving the gift will never be lost and is greatly appreciated. This is what gift giving and receiving is all about. Remember the old saying "it's better to give than to receive"??? Have a wee think about what that means and what if means for the gift giver.
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anon View Drop Down
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Joined: 25 January 2009
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Points: 1014 		Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote anon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 28 March 2010 at 12:51pm
If you want to torture yourself, read the whole 9 pages from beginning to end. Apart from a few amusing moments by those who have given up on the conversation, the rest of it is pure circles that get worse and worse.... Got that song in my head though...

Huttlady I think you need to take the advice you want, leave the advice you don't want to take and get on with it instead stressing yourself silly the whole year leading up to it! Just try and relax a bit and let go of the things you don't have control over. Don't make yourself miserable - it really doesn't have to be such a big deal.

Edited by newlywed
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