It sounds like he is a father to her, gives financial support and sees her on a regular basis, if they have a good bond I think it would be a shame to break that for her.
This isn't directed at you but it astounds me that fathers get such a raw deal, why the system believes that a woman holds all the cards simply because she was the incubator horrifies me.
yeah thats the thing i dont want to go through the whole cort thing i will deffinitly try talk to him first i beleive we are both the parents and noone should have full custody we dont really get along very well but i just dont want to have to do that to him.
i dont think he wants to be stuck in nz either. but this wont be happening till mila if 6 or 7 and, i know it may be selfish but i just dont want to have to stay here, i would never stop him from seeing her and i would be willing to do everything i can so that he could still see her when we are over there.
how do i bring this up with him without starting off a huge fight and scare him into trying to get custody?
Broach the topic carefully and plant the seed now. If you aren't intending to make the move until she is much older and is able to travel between the two countries to see him then hopefully he will be open to it.
It all depends on what arrangement you have before you go though. If you have shared custody I can't see him or a court allowing you to take her overseas. If she has every second weekend with him and he is happy to change that to two weeks every school holidays then its workable.
Also don't forget that if she is older, she will have formed a closer bond with her dad and might get upset with not seeing him. She will be old enough to think you are taking her away from him IYKWIM.
It is hard, I guess that sometimes you just have to make sacrifices for your kids.
Just what I was going to say Tali! It will get much harder as she gets older...
I kind of think when ya have kids you have to put their needs first, esp with stuff like this... moving her away from her dad resulting in significantly restricting his access to her could be very hard on her... seems such a shame for her as sounds like she's got a decent dad who is really making an effort...
I also think formalising your custody arrangements is quite necessary as you don't know what the future will bring...
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moving away rights?
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Oct 11
