BFing - no bonding connection...

Have you ever heard of exclusively expressing? If you hate the actual baby on boob part but still want to give him breast milk, maybe you could discuss that as an option with your midwife.

Exclusively expressing is basically when you pump all of baby's feeds and give him EBM. No breast feeding, but still breast milk. It's win win

I'm in the don't love it, but don't hate it camp.

I used to get a yuck feeling when I was breastfeeding for some reason, no idea how to describe it but almost like a depressed/don't-like-myself/ashamed/guilty feeling (not really an accurate description but don't know how else to describe it). I have no idea why! People say they love breastfeeding and it gives them a warm fuzzy feeling - not me. As soon as I would stop breastfeeding, the feeling would go away. I also didn't like eating while breastfeeding or reading a book [felt "wrong" or yuck). Didn't mind zoning out and watching TV that didn't matter though. Thankfully, I don't get that feeling anymore and breastfeeding is fine.

Can't say I LOVE it though. I do it just because. Don't worry about it not being a bonding experience. My bonding experience is when Jude comes at me making a noise like a pterodactyl and tries to eat my face off.

emz wrote: Just m2c. You need to weigh up all the pros and cons, not just nutritional factors.

Agreed Obviously you are having a really good think about it and are not taking the decision lightly. You aren't throwing in the towel after not giving it a good go. Go for what is right for you and your bubs - try not to feel guilty about it!

Edited by StaceyL

thanks for all your input ladies just had my MW discharge visit... talked to her about the BFing thing and she agrees with me going to bottle. she said that she noticed at our last visit that when he cried for a feed i got a fleeting look on my face like it was the last thing i wanted to do. and she knows that i want to BF the next bubba, knows about my previous depression and agrees with having already made the decision to bottle feed back on day 6, that its like im just putting it off. so im going to keep expressing (hand pump) and just let my supply drop naturally (since it wont be properly stimulated by Riley feeding) and she gave me some tips. so im in a much better head space today and have my fingers crossed that next bubs will be different and that i will be able to BF them.


and a big thanks for not judging me (or at least not potsing your judgements lol)

Glad you have made decision you are comfortable with hun! Good for you

The weird thing was that I have had no trouble breastfeeding at all. Minimal cracks, no trouble with supply etc. So really there was no reason for me to be feeling the way I was. i never thought to search it - mostly because it was gone as soon as I stopped breastfeeding. I've just searched it now and it looks as though it may have been D-MER? Don't like to self-diagnose on the internet but I think that is a pretty accurate description of how I was feeling - although i can't remember if I felt it the whole time I was feeding or just before let-down.. Luckily it must have only been a mild case as I don't get it anymore.

I've never heard of it before.

mamanee - look up the Breastfeeding NZ group on Facebook, and in their Discussions section there is a topic on D-MER.