Pregnant and in Poverty??

so who does the grocery shopping in the house? you need to start putting things aside now, nappies (if you are using disposables), wipes. supermarkets generally sell lots of baby items now, incl bibs, blankets, clothes, bottles...

i dont kow how long you have been unemplyed for but have you tried for a temporary part time job to get some money for baby stuff and for yourself.

makeup and haircuts and vitamins arent essentials... hate to say it but neither are mobile phones... if his income is that low you may qualify for some form of accommodation or other assistance as well so might pay to check with WINZ etc.

you dont need to be stuck at home... go for a walk round your neighbourhood... staying fit will be helpful for when you have bub and you may meet some nice people in your area as well.

It sounds like you're in a bit of a pickle, but I'm sure there are ways you can make it better.

First things first, what are your expenses? It sounds like you’re eating (if not a huge amount), and have a roof over your head, so I assume you’ve got the groceries and rent thing sorted. Other essentials seem to me to be
- clothes
- perhaps a few veges etc (assuming you’re living off the cheaper stuff, which is usually carbs)
- the things that Bubs is gonna need when he/she arrives

So, you need to come up with a bit of cash. I’m thinking that $50 will get you sorted with some OK looking gear at SaveMart (or the local opshop equivalent). P’raps you could put a few things on TradeMe to make that? Maybe even some of your pre-preggy clothes for a few dollars each (since you have died hair, I’m assuming the rest of you has seen better days too) – it’ll add up.

Then do what you can to get some kind of money coming in. There’s temping jobs you can get, perhaps some kind of (light!!) labouring, if you’re rural, how about a stint or two at relief milking or rousying?

With what you’ve got coming in, stockpile stuff the baby will need. Buy some vege plants and look after them in the time you’ve got when you’re not working. They grow in buckets if need be.

Make an effort to get out of the house. Like has been said, just go for a walk – it’s as easy as that. Meet a friend for walk –even better (I assume you have them, since you mention you can’t go out for coffee with them).

If you’re serious about staying with this chap, and making it work, you’re going to have to look after yourself. Get your own account. Keep tight tabs on your own money. Let him do his thing (seems like he’s going to anyway), and do your own yourself. And get into siege mentality for goodness sake. If you’re worried about nappies for the baby, coffee, a haircut, makeup, a mobile, they’re all things you really, really don’t need. They’re good to have. Most of us like them, and I think long-term, it’s really important to have treats and breaks. But for now, you say you’re worried about nappies for the baby... so make that what matters. Forget the other junk for now!!!!

How does that sound? It does involve a bit of work... but isn’t the Baby worth it?

Of course, I’ve suggested that because you’ve made it clear you’re not going to set down the rules with this drop-kick. I find that hard to comprehend, but then I have a secure upbringing, and feel confident in my abilities to look after myself and my wee one. Perhaps you haven’t had the advantages I’ve had to give you that confidence? Anyway, if it was me, I’d be drawing a line, and saying ‘it’s either that, or I walk’. (And although I guess I’d be biased, I would try to make sure it was a fair line too. If I’d been made redundant, I think it would be fair for DH to be a bit peeved if I hadn’t picked up a job yet (depending, of course, on the situation, and how hard I’d tried – I can imagine circumstances conspiring against one in that respect.)

Edited by Hopes

Mum2mac, I don't think you need to apply in the first 8 weeks the payment is just for the first 8 weeks but because it is through WFF you can also get it as a lump sum, same as other WFF payment. You do have to get an IRD number for baby but if you are already signed up for WFF you have probably already done that, if not it is easy you can do it through the IRD website.
I would ring WFF and ask them about it, no point screwing yourself out of $1200 if you are able to claim it.

oh edited to add, you can't get IRD number till you have birth cert and ours seemed to take ages to come through and then the IRD number took ages (I actually phoned and got it off them in the end and was another few weeks before it turned up in the post) so thinking back I think he was older than 8 weeks before we even had the paper work to claim it.



Edited by cuppatea

Pregwithnumber1 - have you mentioned any of this to your midwife?

...there are loads of people who can help, but your midwife can help to connect you with the right people who can support now, during pregnancy, and after baby is born. If your midwife doesn't "hear" you properly...your GP could...sometimes the help ball might not start rolling unless you push it.

Take care!

You poor thing! I think you've been given some great advice. Assuming your H is a reasonable person I think you need to have sit down calm conversation, tell him how desperate you're feeling & you're at the point of walking out. If that what you decide is best make sure you've got a great support network in place. Maybe board with your parents if possible?
I really feel for you hun, hope everything works out for you & your bubba

All the very best Pregwithnumber1, I know some of our comments may have sounded harsh to you but your over halfway pregnant with bubs and its only going to get more expensive from here on! I really hope that things work out for the best for you and your little bub!