Childbirth anxiety

Your Midwife said what!?? That isn't particularly helpful
It's pretty natural to fear childbirth - I sure as hell did for the first & second trimester.
By 30ish weeks I knew I had to do something to help myself, so did a lot of reading about hypnobirthing (didn't have $$ to attend classes) homebirthing (although was birthing in a birthing unit) and basically inspiring birth stories. I went into labour feeling 100% empowered, confident and excited about what was about to happen. And consequently my labour went off without a hitch, just over 3.5hours and an experience I can't wait to do all over again. Rewind a few months prior to labour and I wouldn't have imagined feeling so in control. So I fully recommend reading, practising breathing techniques (which for me was simply slow steady breathing) and telling myself that the pain I was going to feel is good pain and bringing me closer to my baby.

Have you got a close friend who you feel comfortable with to go in with you? I'm sorry you feel like this. I'm not sure what your situation is with your mother, but she may surprise you and be exactly what you want and need during your labour. Have you spoken to your Mum about your fears at all?

Anyway, if you need anymore advice (not that I have a whole lot sorry) or you just want someone to talk to please feel free to PM me. I can point you in the direction of some online sites that helped me.

Definitely google birthing affirmations and pick the ones that feel right for you. Start saying them to yourself often ie a few times daily and during labour. I found that this really helped me last time and focussed my energy into positive thoughts rather than worry. Worry doesn't help you at all but educating yourself and convincing yourself you CAN do this will.

Because yes it is natural to be afraid after having a negative experience, but the likelihood is that that this time will be different. 2 of my friends had really traumatic first births and went on to pop out their second no worries. Only think about that and not the last one. Only listen to positive birthing stories.

My birth went without any probs partly due to me convincing myself that i could do it. I really believe it made a huge difference. Get someone there who also believes you can do it!

Was your first birth in Africa? If not that was a really random thing for your midwife to say!

I don't think I can add much to what the other girls have said since they're so onto it, but I'm sending you lots of positive labour vibes! Good luck!