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my4beauties 
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Joined: 01 January 1900
Location: NZ
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 Posted: 14 May 2007 at 10:18am |
I certainly did NOT feel like it for the first 12-15 weeks as I was really sick & had extreme tiredness. DH would get quite grumpy with me after 3 or 4 days & the longest I held off was a week. I remember when I let him have it once & i was not into it & I felt really horrible during it so will not let that happen again - if I'm not in the mood HE'S NOT GETTING IT, even if it means he gets annoyed with me I know he'll get over it!
At the moment I don't mind it at all... but from past experience, once I hit the 35 wk mark I'm not going to want it & that's going frustrate DH as he won't be getting it for a couple of months  .
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My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) 
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MissCandice
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Joined: 01 January 2007
Location: Christchurch
Points: 3836
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 6:22pm |
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Hi there
Im glad i found this post, i havent really looked at the other posts apart from the August Mums one..
Im the same as almost all of you, i dont feel like it and i feel awful.. DF kinda understands, i get the feeling that he doesnt really he just doesnt want to hurt my feelings.. Iv spent alot of the time feeling bad, and upset that i cant give him what he wants and what i know he wants.. I mean they are only human.. Altho i do keep thinking to myself if he loved me at all couldnt he just understand.. Also the comments he makes after we do 'do it' every now and then make me feel worse and i just cry! I dont know if the crying is because it hurts ( what he says ) or if its just hormones.. It says things like, god we dont do it enough! Or we will be in bed and he will try and il say i dont feel like it, and he will say i knew that just thought id try, or i wasnt getting my hopes up.
I thought it was just me because he said he asked all his mates that have pregnant gf's and apparently they do it all the time and that its just me being a hold out..
God it felt good to get that out.. God bless whoever made this post :)
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~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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Candkids
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 6:29pm |
you shouldnt feel bad i spent so long feeling bad about not wanting it but really it was coz i was feeling crappy and then after the prem labour scare i didnt want to do it at all incase it made me go into labour, sometimes hubby would get down but hed never say anything but i could tell, however what i did find out was that if i was uncomfortable doing it and didnt say anything, hed figure it out then hed feel really really bad and that sucked so now i just tell him how im feeling, and i make him tell me how hes feeling too, and its been heaps better 
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 DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above
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MissCandice
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 6:43pm |
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I try to tell DF how im feeling but then he says how he feels and i already know.. he just wants sex.. and i do it, not always because i want to but because i love him to pieces and just want to make him happy..
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~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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Candkids
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:00pm |
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that was exactly how i was feeling too, all i wanted to do was make him happy coz seeing him sad really breaks my heart, however it really backfired, he started geting really down and thinking of himself as selfish then he had a massive anxiety attack, he went to the doctor about it and the doc said it was perfectly normal for a partner to feel this way and the best thing to do is really both get it out about how your feeling, thats why now were completly honest and its great, hes never been selfish at all, he admits that he wants it all the time, but hed rather watch me sleep and know that me and bubs are rested.
and hes even admitted that its hard, but hes gotta get used to it as wen babys born he wont be getting any for quite a while.
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DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above
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peanut butter
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:09pm |
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babytyme I found my hormones did weird things with sex....even if I was into it I would often end in tears.....which really pissed me off!!! DF thought it was quite cute though.
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Candkids
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:18pm |
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lol
nzpiper that happens to me too!! sometimes its me that wants it, and then sometimes if we havnt done it for a while it gets kinda sore and hubby wont want to touch me incase it hurts me and i just ball my eyes out
oh and one time he was to tired and i cried lol guess that was a taste of how he feels lol
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DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above
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MissCandice
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:42pm |
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Haha that happened to me too, he said he was to tired and i cried cos i thought he didnt want me or that it was something else.. thanks for the advice guys its really helped.
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~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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peanut butter
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:44pm |
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No, I meant I cried at the end of it!!! and it wasnt bad...it was like the only emotion I could do was tears.....silly hormones!
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MissCandice
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 7:55pm |
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lol i havent done that yet... i can imagine if i did poor DF would think he done something wrong..
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~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~
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busymum
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 8:02pm |
hehe piper I've done that on occasion 
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Maya
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Posted: 16 May 2007 at 8:04pm |
 nzpiper wrote:
No, I meant I cried at the end of it!!! and it wasnt bad...it was like the only emotion I could do was tears.....silly hormones! |
I did that the first time we BDed after I found out I was preg with Maya. I felt sorry for Willie so let him have his way, but felt so icky about it afterwards that I burst into tears and that freaked him right out.
The poor guy had to go without while I was pregnant with the gremlins as aside from me really not feeling like it due to bad morning sickness, we were told by the OB not to go there as I had several bleeding episodes and a threatened early labour.
So he was reaaaally keen to get back into it after they were born!
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 Maya Grace (28/02/03)
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.Mel
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Posted: 17 May 2007 at 11:39am |
I told hubbie last night that the thought of doing IT made me feel wierd and when he asked me why I said, I can't possibly think of doing it because 9/10 baby is moving around and the whole mindset with me is that's just weird. 
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