2nd babies

Gap between babies?   22 months.

How long was you labour for each?
Paris 5 hours, (3 hours contracting, 2 hrs pushing) Ayja 3.5 hours (3 hours 20 minutes contracting, 10 minutes pushing!)

How big was each bub?
Paris 7lb 3oz, Ayja 6lb 2oz, (i think most of that was cos i started PAris's pregnacy with a decent amount of weight on me to help her grow, whereas i was only 51kgs to start with Ayja and got morning sickness worse and med probs, plus was studying.. so could have taken better care of myself.. plus she takes after her daddy more too.

Did you find it harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2?
I found 0-1 harder... second time it all came more naturally for me cos i had some tactics up my sleeve.. instead of taking months to figure things out, i at least thought "well, this worked and this worked i can try that first and go from there" for settling and stuff. Plus i knew the things NOT to get into the habit of early on, instead of having to reprogramme the bub later.. I found breastfeeding easier, time managment easier, and even managed to get by without a dummy.. although there were plenty of times i wish i hadn't!

Did you do anything special to make thing easier for older child? We got a great short book called hello peanut.. which was good cos it isn't long and wordy like some others.. It just went "how big is the baby? as big as a dot, hello dot!" progressing though different stages with the mummys tummy getting bigger till the last one "as big as an ELEPHANT!" then it says mummy's gone to the hospital, then the toddler goes to see mummy and baby. and it was good cos we could read it and each time it got to the hospital part, i could explain to paris that mummy would go to the hsopital to have baby and aunty would come to look after her, and then she could come see us. I Really recommend that book. We also got a pressie to them to give to each other. But mainly, relised that while babies can wait, or have a spell in the bouncer, toddlers were important.. Ayja spent a heap of time down on the floor under her playgym next to us while we did puzzles, read books etc.. so i wasn't always holding Ayja.

How did older child react? PAris was overly protective, got upset if ayja cried at first, cos they like to have reasons for that sorta thing and well, babys just cry for no reason sometimes. she liked to try and soothe her. We taught her "gentle" and still have to remind her sometimes (at least 1 or 2 times a day, doesn't help that now ayja beats HER up!)

Was your pregnancy pretty similar each time? nope and yes. lol, PAris's was pretty straightforward, Ayja wouldn't turn and was transverse lie forever till the last minute, I got a hernia, She looked like she stopped growing so we got sent off for growth scans, and i got SPD.. so it kinda sucked more.. but as i said i was putting myself under a heap more stress than i should have been and expected everything to go the same as Paris's pregnancy did. that was pretty stupid.

Was your birth pretty similar for each? kind of, Paris's started with waters breaking and i think that helped it not to be quite so ouchy. they progressed kind of the same really, except Paris took forever to push out! Ayja's started with crampy feelings and progressed quickly to pain unlike i had ever felt.. which i think was due to the emormous pressure of her head and the membranes which had not broken. Made me physically sick, but once they broke my waters, that was it, she was outta there.

I felt more out of control with that birth, but that was because it hurt like hell, it went so much damn faster that Paris's had, and had been not so painful up till about an hour before i had Ayja then got VERY hurty very quick and i knew it was too late for pain releif when i got to the hospital! that and my midwife switched 3 times during pregnancy and labour so i had a fill-in for my fill-in arrive just in time to deliver Ayja with Mike's help.

Anything else? Not much. It takes some adjusting to. but you get there. same as everything else in parenting. There's light at the end of the tunnel.. sometimes the tunnel is just extremely long.


Edited by mum2paris

This is a great thread and something I've been thinking of for a while. Here's my contribution:

Gap between babies?
19mos, I'm just coming up to a 17 1/2mo gap between #2 and #3.

How long was you labour for each?
I think they would have been much the same, or the second one longer. Hannah's one was interrupted by me haemorraging and then having a c/s; Briona's labour was 30 hours "early labour" + 3 hours of actual labour. The early labour was so long because she was posterior. My mw reckons my early labour this time will be less because I have an anterior baby this time, and the actual labour is less from baby to baby so she's expecting under 3 hours for that bit this time

How big was each bub?
7lb 3oz Hannah; 8lb 4oz Briona. I think I'm having a mid-late 8lber this time but that's just my guess.

Did you find it harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2?
I found 1-2 harder. I had a rough idea of what to expect with 0-1 (from lots of younger siblings), although that one was the hardest on DH. Going from 1-2 was tougher because I had to be really creative in looking after two littlies as well as me while DH was working long hours.

Did you do anything special to make thing easier for older child?
I just tried to point out lots of babies and teach Hannah (then 19mos) how to touch them... I don't know if it made much difference actually because she was so young. I haven't done much prep with Briona this time, I don't think she'd understand but she also seems to adjust to surprise situations better. Hannah is 3 this time around so she is well prepped on the whole story about baby coming and mummy going to the hospital and daddy will help her and grandma will look after her and Bria etc etc. I am planning on 24hr discharge so have showed her the hospital and talked that through with her too.

How did older child react?
Hannah loved Briona to start with, we had to be really diligent to watch them together as she was too rough and had no understanding. We showed her that she could cuddle Briona with help, and could stroke her head (like a cat). That was about it. She used to crawl up Briona's body when she was lying down, to place a kiss on her head!

After about 2 weeks Hannah got a bit aggressive and started hitting Briona when I was breastfeeding her. She was obviously feeling a bit jealous, but I wanted to get across to her that that behaviour was completely unacceptable so if she did that Briona was taken off (sorry baby!) and Hannah marched to her bedroom for time-out. It settled very quickly.

Was your pregnancy pretty similar each time?
Yes.

Was your birth pretty similar for each?
No it was very different!

Anything else?
I'm going to start a thread on how to occupy a toddler while you have a new baby on board

Gap between babies? 17 months

How long was you labour for each? first labour active was 5 hours with at the a few pushes, seond active labour was 3(ish) hours? again a few pushes, third active labour just under 1 hour few pushes.

How big was each bub? first induced 39 weeks 6lb 2 oz, second induced at 10 days overdue 7lb 3 oz and third induced at 39 weeks 5lb 15oz

Did you find it harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2? 0-1 the second was alot easier as i was more confident in what i was doing cause i'd already done it.

Did you do anything special to make thing easier for older child? just made sure that she knew i loved her and that there was a baby coming for her to play with and i made sure i spent special times with her throughout the day while baby was sleeping etc..

How did older child react? i was more nervous about her coping than she was! she accepted her new baby sister straight away and was a good wee helper. she didnt seem to feel sad at all in fact the opposite, alot happier.

Was your pregnancy pretty similar each time? not really, had a bit moer morning sickness with my second but overall it was a boring pregnancy! lol, my first i had heaps of issues with high blood pressure etc.. and had a heamorrhage afterwards- second great blood pressure and because they knew of my history was on iv from the time emma was born to stop anything happening.

Was your birth pretty similar for each? in a way- second was easier and faster though.

Anything else? speaking from experience the age gap is great. might be a lttle bit more work (not that i found it) but my kids are now 4 and 3.5 and they play well and are the best of friends.

Gap between babies? 3 years 8 mths

How long was you labour for each? 41 hours all up with Maya, 17 of those active labour in hospital, 5 hours start to finish with the twins

How big was each bub? Maya was 9lb1oz and the twins were 7lb1oz and 6lb8oz

Did you find it harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2? 1 to 3! Mostly because Maya was older and I had gotten out of the habit of doing baby things, carrying a baby bag around etc. plus she is in preschool so I am used to having my days to myself

Did you do anything special to make thing easier for older child? Preschool worked with her to get her more independent (not that she wasn't already , and when the twins were born I took some new crayons, pens stickers etc. for her to keep her entertained when visiting, and twin dolls for her to look after although she hasn't used them much

How did older child react? She loves the twins to bits, she does get a bit rough with them sometimes, and sometimes she does 'dumb' things like jump over them when they're lying on the floor, but mostly she's pretty good.

Was your pregnancy pretty similar each time? I was equally sick both times but other than that pretty different as one was twins

Was your birth pretty similar for each? Pretty much. Both times I had a NVD with a small 1st degree tear, only difference is I had an epidural with Maya, with the twins the epi failed so I had no pain relief. but it didn't seem as painful as with Maya, and the crowning definitely wasn't as painful.

Anything else?

Gap between babies? 15 months

How long was you labour for each? 5 for jake (induced two weeks late) and just over 2 for Taine

How big was each bub? jake was 7 pound and Taine was just under

Did you find it harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2? both were equally as hard in different ways. 0-1 cause it was all so new, but 1-2 is tough - you can't sleep when baby sleeps as you still have a toddler, and the guilt initally is really hard.

Did you do anything special to make thing easier for older child?   We bought them a toy each to exchange - except tit backfired. jake loved the teddy he was supposed to "give" taine and got really annoyed when it was taken away.

How did older child react? see above! he was okay and loved to talk to taine and say things, but he also was very curious and poked him in the ey. also, he was clumsy - as all one year olds are, and fell on three week old Taine and winded him. very scarey as i though he may have broken a rib.

Was your pregnancy pretty similar each time? yes, minimal morning sickness (apart from the day when i ate ice cream for breakfast), i was probably the most healthiest I've ever been

Was your birth pretty similar for each? Jake was posterior so i had a long time to push (over three hours), but both times I dilated very quickly.

Anything else? no.

Gap between babies?
josh & Brooke - 4 yrs 9 mnths
to Rhyley - josh 13 brooke 8

How long was you labour for each? 42 1/2 hours - first Josh (2 1/2 hours pushing posteria birth wouldn't turn), 4 hours Brooke (although I would say only half hour was badish 5 mins pushing) and Rhyley elective ceasar (due to breeched)

How big was each bub?
Josh - 9lb 5oz
Brooke - 8lb 6oz
Rhyley - 9lb 4oz

Did you find it harder going from 0 to 1 or 1 to 2?
no easier after the first as its not all new to you and you know what your in for.

Did you do anything special to make thing easier for older child?
Involved them in most of the pregnacy, talked alot about it but not to the point of over doing it, with Josh when Brooke came along I brought him a special present when she was born so she wasn't getting them and not him , my parents also brought him something. but books would be good for younger ones to talk about it in their 'language'

How did older child react?
Josh was great with Brooke although did get sick of people asking him about Brooke big brother etc.... he did begin ignoring people when they asked which got a bit embarrasing.

Was your pregnancy pretty similar each time?
Pregancy different with all three. Josh briiliant prehnacy no morning sickness felt amzing all the way thru, Brooke plenty of morning sickness, uti's all the way thru, misscarage scare (at 16 weeks)made my crohns worse, Rhyley not too much morning sickness just things repeating on me, indigestion, very sore ribs (head stuck in there) gestational diabetes, swollen feet, ankles legs and hands towards the end, breeched baby which they unsuccessfully tried to turn ending in elective ceasar.

Was your birth pretty similar for each?
once again all three were different - Josh being the hardest - posteria very long labour, got stuck on plevic bone ending him having a bruise on side or head when born ripped from one 'hole' to the other. Brooke easy as two pushes and she was out not bad first stage, skipped transition stage not stitches only tiny bit of grazing.(waters had to be broken with both)
Rhyley elective ceasar very different to natural births.

Anything else?
Everyone is different and i am a little different to you as i have bigger age gaps so don't know what its like to have close together but i feel you are more relaxed the more babies you have.
Thanks ladies



Edited by AnnC