Im so flippen angry at DH!

Jesu$ Chri$T That is irresponsible and thoughless. I would return the shoes, too, and stop the golf.
Why not some $40 ones from the shoe warehouse instead, then there would be some $ for you to get some too.

I would be canselling Xmas for all the extras, too. What an A$$

oh & meant to say I would hit him over the head with that photo block...what is wrong with a warehouse frame?

Four_eyes so agree.

As a SAHM, I have to run the house & do everything for everyone, I don't get paid for this. If bills did not get paid then it would be me who stressed about it, so I handle all the money, my DH would spend to much on stuff we want but don't need, where as I want all bills paid first.

My DH does not know how much money we have & what we spend it on, if he wants something he asks. It is tough on 1 wage & we have 3 kids. We have deiced to cut costs this xmas & be really tight with money next year as we would like to take the kids to oz at the end of next year.

I have been cleaning out cupboards & found stuff the kids got last xmas, that have never been played with & they did not want so am not making that mistake again, besides it is me that spends most of my time on my hands & knees picking up toys.

I was thinking you should get DH to pay you back, time to sort out his stuff & sell what is not needed or has not been used for awhile...TM is great for that & that is how I got some of my xmas money.

I think your DH is an adult and although some of his behaviour that he is displaying is not very adult like, I dont think it will help treating him like another child.

So I will suggest ask him when he is ready to have a chat about finances sometime this week. Let him say when and where and make sure that time is sort of clear for both of you. Perhaps when kids are in bed ect.

Then make a nice cup of coffee and sit down with a spreadsheet with all your expenses. Fixed ones like Rend/bond and things you cant change the amount on. Then the ones that you have to pay but it is variable in amount like electricity ect.

And then the ones you can cut on when unexpected stuff comes on like clothing and entertainment and golf and all those things you dont need to survive on.

Go through your bank records for the last 6 months and put that in and then put a proposed budget in.

Try and make sure you can get spending money for both of you in there. Even if it is only $10 a week. I think both of you need money where you dont need to account for what you did with that money.

And then agree to a plan. If it means that all cards is stopped and you need cash for everything and you work on a weekly budget then do it. Draw out the cash and put it in different envelopes. And then put the actual amoutns you spent on there in the budget. Whatever is left for that week you can perhaps put in that envelope for the next week or put in savings or for a holiday.

Try and not go guilt trip him as he will just go all defensive. (some men really dont like being verbally attacked) but let him know how you feel. Both of you are together in this and should work together.

What is done is done for Christmas but you really do not need a lot of money to make Christmas special. For Stockings, bake biscuits for the kiddies or better yet make packets of flour and all that up with a few cookie cutters and the recipy in the stocking. They will love doing baking with you.

Make playdough and all that and wrap it up for them. And take $20 per child and spent in on something they might enjoy.

If you feel you really have to give something to rest of families then why not bake? Bake something with kiddies to give to grandparents.

This wont help for this year but it may for next year.. we have a xmas account set up. I put in money from each pay into it. Even if its only $5 or $10 or whatever we have. It actually builds up quite fast over the year so when it comes to xmas time I don't really have to look for any money at all cause its already there. We had a few months were we couldn't put any in but even so theres a couple hundy sitting in there for presents. Saves on stress I tell ya!

I like the flour and cookie cutter idea and home made play dough. E would love that!

Geez, that would piss me off!!

We are trying to do cheap things this year...not just because we cant really afford it...but because I dont think anyone actually NEEDS anything so baking will be something to make them feel nice. I agree, baking ingredients soon add up too.