Random.

Sorry for your loss Emma, those poor kids , and so close to christmas time

Sorry to hear that Emma.

Big to you and your family.

Big Hugs Emma thinking of you and the family take care.

Thanks Still a bit in shock really, I guess it will set in once we get up there and see her this morning. Bracing myself coz it's the first tangi Maya will have been to and I'm gonna have a bit of explaining to do I think as they always have open coffins. Maybe I'll let Willie have that one coz it's his family after all. Still, I think Maori children are lucky that as a culture they have such an open way of dealing with death, I think it's much healthier than the way our family does things which is to clam up and be all formal.

They're not having a traditional tangi, the service is on Tues then cremation afterwards but she's going to be at their house until then. There's a death notice in this mornings paper.

Awww, I'm so sorry to hear this sad news Emma.

Its always sad when someone dies, but so unexpectedly probably makes it all the more sadder.

I hope the tangi goes ok xxx

Emma, so sorry to read of your loss. What a huge shock for you and your SILs family.

I remember going to my first tangi (although I was a little bit older than Maya is) .. my aunties and my Grandma were really matter of fact but caring about it and it didn't seem scary at all. I think it's one of those things that's worse for adults IYKWIM.

Maya coped really well, she was a bit sad, but I think that's coz everyone else was so she felt she had to copy them.

My parents are a bit freaked out about the whole thing as we don't do open caskets etc. in our family and they didn't think I should let Maya see SIL, but it's not really my decision, this is her culture and the way the other half of her family do things so it's important that she is allowed to be involved with that.

I didn't let the gremlins go into the room where SIL is laid out, they would just be hooligan nuisances but I did take lil miss in and her and Maya and I sat in with SIL for a while together.

The hardest part was seeing my niece who is 18 sitting next to her mum and sobbing "I don't want to do this anymore" and knowing that there's nothing we can do to help her, that she has to go thru this and there's nothing we can do. Willie's sister is staying with them tho and making sure that they and BIL eat etc. coz they are all a bit dazed and confused.