wills and contesting

lizzle, like Bizzy said some think they are owed by everyone.

I think if you get anything left to you in a will, count yourself lucky. I want to leave what I can for my kids but with saying that I am not going to bring then up as money hungry get what they can people. I want to teach then not to rely on others or wait for me to pop my clogs. They will learn how to save & know the satisfaction of earning, saving to buy what they want.

You have made me do a lot of thinking about wills, & I might throw a question in the topics...I have a stepchild & I don't want included in our will, now I know that would raise a few issues & views.

Edited by jazzy

I would never contest a will. That person has every right to do whatever they like with their belongings, money etc. It is their wish, so why would I try to go against it (even if I don't agree with it).

My dad is on wife number three. They have had a child together (he is only 5 now so there is 26 years between me-the eldest-& my half brother). I know for a fact that my dad has left everything he has to my half-brother when he dies. Do I think it's fair? Well, probably not, but that's not the point. It's my dad's decision. He can do whatever he chooses with his things. And also, if I did have a problem with it, then I should speak up about it while he is still alive & try make him change it, not go behind his back once he is dead & try overrule his wishes.

I don't care if no-one leaves me anything when they die. I don't want their stuff or their money. I have memories of them & that's the most important thing. I can't think of anything more disresepectful than squabbling over someone's things when they are gone.

I'd like to know that I made my own way in life & didn't need to take anything from anyone to get there. I don't think anyone should expect anything in life-no-one owes us anything. That is what I hope to teach my children. I plan to spend all my money before I die anyway so there's none to fight over after I'm gone

PS I don't mean anyone any offence by this, it's just my view. I know different people have different views in the subject & it's a very personal matter & can be very sensitive. Myself personally, I think it's all just stuff & not worth all the fighting about.

my grandma left equal shares to all three of her sons, including one who she hasn't seen for 40 odd years, and who had absolutley no interest in the fact that she had died, even saying that he didn't think of her as his mother anymore ..imo he doesn't even deserve the honour of being known to that wonderful woman , but , as far as she was concerned , he was her son and that still counted for something so none of us would dream of contesting it .
She left equal amounts to all 5 grandkids, even tho I was definetly the closest to her , Im glad we got the same , the way I see it , she gave me more in love and support and time over 20 odd years than any amount of money is worth .

TBH I can understand fighting over the things - there is an elephant my nana has that I will fight for, but fighting for money? I don't get it.

I guess it depends on your circumstances. My parents were married 50 years before my mother passed away. She left her share to us with my father having life interest. Unfortunately their lawyer stuffed up and put everything in joint names not tenants in common share which meant Dad inherited everything that was hers except the one house they lived in. It was my mothers intention that we eventually got her share of the rental properties etc but Dad received the income from them while he was alive. If Dad were to change his will and leave everything to say charity, or cut out one of my siblings, I would feel compelled to contest the will so my mothers final wishes were honored, but only for her share. As for Dad, if he felt so strongly he wanted to cut me out of his will now I would respect that and walk away. My mothers final wishes were not honored and my siblings and I decided not to contest her will to make it happen, out of respect for my father. We have a slightly complicated situation though.

I have cousins whose father remarried and left behind two boys in their teen years. My cousins are in their early 50's and have all made a life for themselves. My uncle left everything to the two younger boys (about 12 and 17 I think). Cousins are unhappy but decided it wasn't worth the expense of contesting the will. I actually think Uncle did the right thing, the boys are still young and will need some money to finish their education and give them a bit of a start.

lilfatty wrote: jazzy wrote: You have made me do a lot of thinking about wills, & I might throw a question in the topics...I have a stepchild & I don't want included in our will, now I know that would raise a few issues & views. Yeah I have "views" on that. If I had a child prior to the ones I have now with DH I would want him to tell me that he planned to leave my child out of his will, that way instead of my entire estate going to him I could provide for the child that he is not going to provide for. So I would leave a percentage to DH and a percentage to my firstborn.

ha ha Julia new you would.

I have been reading the stories on her who have had a parent remarry & how things worked out for them & I was surprised with some that had been left out after years of living with that parent.

as much as i hate to say it jazzy - don't assume the kid won't want anything and won;t go after it. I would get your Dh to stipulate that because the house was given to the mother and child, that is the majority of his "legacy" so to speak.

I think the person making out the will should be able to leave there belonging to whom ever they like & not have to do it out of a feeling of that it is the way it should be.

Kelly, I think your friends parents are on the right track, but saying that I could not leave my kids out. But I do like there reasons for doing it.

I have worked hard for what I have & a lot of things are from my family & they are to stay in my family.

I also think no kids should have the right to anything when 1 parent dies it should all go to the partner, but clauses can be put in if they remarry or die.

I would hate my kids or on outside party fighting over my things. DH needs to buy me more jewelery to share out between the 3, ha ha.

sunnyhoney, your MIL sounds like a Bitch.
I have read my IL's will. DH is in there with his siblings, I am not nor are any other partners or grand-kids, & I think that is the way it should be, after all it is their things & they should go to their kids. I will get everything if I out live DH anyway.

The good things about will are you can change them whenever.
I would not include my kids partners in my will, as they may split up, remarry etc.

Under normal circumstances, and I still believe this now, wills should be left alone and respected. But I also think people should have guidance and help when making a will, especially when they're old.

I did consider contesting my grandmother's will when I was younger. Here's why:

My grandmother and I were exceptionally close. I lived with her after I left home at 18 until she died suddenly. Her three children (including my mum) were not very good to her. They were volatile relationships, very firey and long periods would go by where noone was talking to anyone else. My grandmother told me that she had decided not to leave her house to her children, but instead to leave it to her six grandchildren to pay for their educations.

She had this will written up with a solicitor, but died before signing it. So, they went off her old will which left everything to her children. Of course, that wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for all the infighting that went on, it was so horrible. I did consider contesting it, but I was only 18 and completely out of my depth so I let it go. But it angered me to watch the money (there wasn't heaps) get whittled away on drugs, alcohol, TAB and cars.

I still have a $12k student loan by the way! But that wasn't what upset me.